Leaving New York…

byebyeplateAbout a month ago I tried putting this post up and it wouldn’t let me save into draft form and it wouldn’t let me post either which was weird.

Despite the technical difficulties, I wanted to share my feelings from the past until now in regards to leaving NYC.

About a month ago, I received an offer I just could not refuse. Through my current employer (yes I do have a day job), an opening came up I couldn’t bypass and after several weeks of interviewing I was offered the position.

I never really shared with anyone about the job or what my plans were. It was probably my best kept secret. Sure I shared with a few close friends, but nothing I needed to share on social media, public or personal.

Once the job was offered, it took me forever to pack. Not realizing how much shit I had, I never really organized myself in this move. Being depressed every now and then didn’t help and of course my parents were too busy to help me pack. I’m not sure what was going on with me. It was a distressed feeling as through the packing was draining me.

I saved everything for the last minute. It was just awful. As excited I was to move, I was still suffering with some form of depression. Even in the state of mind I was finally leaving NYC, I couldn’t shake the dead weight of my mind.

Needless to say, once I did make an announcement I was moving, everyone was sending me messages, asking where was I moving to. Some people didn’t realize they were on a need to know basis, on top of that was any one of these people for me when other things were going on in my life where I could have used a friend? Now, relocating, suddenly people want to be your friend.

No thank you.

Of course a select few were chosen to know, people who I regard as friends.

Right down to the last week, I got cheap to buy more boxes to move the rest of my things into storage since there was only so much money to go around it was either move me or move my things. (Hence the go fund me page www.gofundme.com/mbluemove).

While my stuff is hauled up in storage due to arrive the later part of January, I have to say relocating was the best choice I ever made for my life.

I never thought I would feel a sense of peace. I had been extremely unhappy in NYC since 2009, all I ever wanted to do was leave. When this opportunity came, what better way to go.

It was emotionally taxing to leave. A city I loved for so long felt as though every turn I made to try something new and better myself, wasn’t happening in an overpriced residence. I didn’t like my neighbors anymore, the noise became unbearable. The constant shoving and being squashed by people on the 1 line with those tiny chairs no one fit unless you were like 5 years old, just wasn’t cutting it for me.

My friend has asked me the last two weeks if I miss the Bronx….well.

I don’t.

NYC served its purpose. Something similar my ex said in 2001 when I thought we were working towards reconciliation. Some things serve a purpose and once that purpose is fulfilled, it’s time to move on.

For those of you wondering (and if you’ve seen my instagram posts you already know), I live in Arizona now. Close to Vegas and California. I was scared it would become a “Squidville” episode (for those who watch Spongebob), but thankfully it hasn’t.

I have found a bit of peace in the sea of my own chaos…the ones that live in my head. 😉

And finally you know that crazy question people ask….did you take all your animals? I ask., did you take all your children when you moved?

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

 

The Bachelor Farmer Chris Soules E2 @c_soules

While everyone is celebrating at the rose ceremony that they’ve surpassed the first of the wars of the roses, yoga teacher Kimberly was speaking off camera and walks away back to the house to fetch Chris to give her a chance. Chris who seems to be the most kind, goes outside to talk to her all the while the girls are having a cow and suddenly becoming possessive of him. Because there are certain “rules” (and I use the term loosely) Farmer Chris goes back to Chris Harrison to have a conversation with him regarding Kimberly.
While he thought this may be unconventional, he decided to give her a chance. I mean he did give Tara the drunk a chance why not someone who flew from the East Coast who didn’t behave like an ass.
Needless to say, he did give her a chance while she anticipated a rose for the next ceremony. So in other words she was allowed to stay even though she didn’t have a rose.
Quite unconventional you might ask. Remember when Chris Bukowski came by surprise to meet Andi and Chris Harrison stopped him practically at the foot of the hill where is located telling him he could not meet Andi. Even while telling Andi to give her the “option”, he made sure Bukowski wasn’t even given a chance after Chris Harrison threw him under the bus. We all know why Chris Harrison was extremely protective of Andi, he liked her. And I wouldn’t be surprised that he was secretly jumping for joy when the announcement came out when Andi and Josh broke up. I mean really. Josh was not a catch at all and we all know the reason why Andi choose him, not only was she attracted to him, we always want something that doesn’t want us. Isn’t that the ways of relationships? (“Yes please”)
The next day, after all of the Kimberly “save”, Chris Harrison meets up with the girls to talk to them about the “rules”. He lets them know Chris living in the house down the driveway urges them to get as much time as they can with him that there are no rules.

Now we all know what that means….we will find a lot of these girls sneaking out to see him especially if he’s had other dates and they didn’t have one on one time with him. Even knowing this of course there will be backlash because that’s just the nature of this show.
After his spiel, he drops off the first date card which the first of the group dates and the attendees are as follows:
Jade, Tandra, Ashley, McKenzie, Kimberly, and Tara.
Now this is Kimberly’s opportunity to get to know Chris within a small group setting and the option to win a rose. Some girls expressed their discontentment that Kimberly gets to go out on this date which they shouldn’t be upset that is the whole point. However, I  can understand because if Kimberly gets a rose and they don’t, it has nothing to do with who is on the date but the chemistry that is generating on each date.
The girls are taken to TenTen Wilshire where the date card had said show me your country.  So basically it’s a pool party and how convenient they all have the bikini underneath their clothes.
Being bold, Kimberly pulls him aside and suggest that they start all over again like a first meeting and oh how cute, Chris gets up and walks into the room where she is and acts like he’s meeting her for the first time.
While the group date is going on, two of the girls decided to go to Chris’s house to see what the house looks like.
One of the girls puts Chris’s helmet on to test it out and she bangs her head in the wall, on the fridge and on the wood wall, she’s an idiot.
Back at the group date, they ladies and Chris all leave the pool party in their bikini’s walking down LA streets, over to a set of tractor-trailers which means that not only are they going to ride these in their bikinis, clearly this was going to be a contest of some sort.
Tara, our drunken country girl was super excited, as she is purely convinced that this man is going to be her husband and expresses how lucky she was to have received a rose due to she felt she was skating on thin ice thanks to her inebriated escapade during the rose ceremony.
And the race begins! But guess what? What I’m sure the girls did not expect, these tractors are snails and the first girl to the finish line wins one on one time with Farmer Chris.
Ashley I. ended up winning the race, the freelance journalist from Wayne New Jersey and you can tell that she’s from Jersey because of all the heavy make up around her eyes and the way she wears her hair and the way she talks. Anyone who watches the Housewives of New Jersey, you can hear her accent from three thousand miles away.
Now here’s my take on Ashley. This girl is not a good fit for him at all. She’s not realistic in her goals of what she believes a relationship should be. She’s also a virgin. Not that that’s anything that should be held against her, but her lack of experience and her youth will have her looking for more dick once she gets a taste of it. Believe me when I tell you, we are all creatures of habit. One dick experience will not be enough.
 Meanwhile back at the house all the girls are waiting for the next date card, Juelia is talking to the other ladies about what she plans on sharing with Farmer Chris. The first being she has a daughter, Ireland, and second that her child’s father killed himself not too long after their child was born. And now the waterworks begins.
So while she’s busy crying through the telling of the story, she brings up a point on how she feels obligated to tell Farmer Chris and this is what makes this show “sensational”.
The whole dramatic aspect of, “I have to tell a guy certain things so that it’s not a secret or I have to spill my guts”, the bottom line is in real life nobody feels the need to spill their guts all in one shot, but because this is reality TV this is what they’re told to say to make it good. Clearly, and in all respect for Juelia, this is not a person who’s prepared to be in a relationship. Death of a spouse is a big deal and while people move on with their lives as one should, the waterworks were too heavy for me to believe that this woman is prepared to be in a serious relationship and uproot her life to another state with her child. What are they going to do? Discuss her dead husband to a child that will never know her father?
Meanwhile, Ashley I. and Chris are spending some time together because she won the tractor-trailer race. I don’t think that there’s any chemistry between Chris and Ashley I. She seems to be forcing herself on Chris and her kisses seem unnatural. Not only is she a virgin but she does not know the art of kissing. This wasn’t a traditional one on one more like she won the race so she had uncharted time without disruptions.
Chris expressed his feelings in regards to the awkward situation of the group date with the six girls and he wanted to finish off the night dating one girl that that girl ended up being McKenzie. Surprise, surprise! Did Ashely I. think this was going to be her magical night as she was sent packing back the mansion with the rest of the girls? The season is being set to expect the unexpected.
Now the five girls that are left on the group date are left sitting and not very happy but no rose has been given out…yet.  Tara, who got a reprieve, seems to be taking this extremely difficult clearly this is a woman who has broken heart issues and takes everything literally.
Ashley I. was hoping to get the rest of the evening with him but I knew that wasn’t going to happen because he just doesn’t seem in to her and she seems too forceful.
Chris, now alone with his one to one with McKenzie, finds himself engaged in weird conversations, like how she said she likes guys with big noses then she asked him if he believes in aliens. I’m sure that now he sitting there regretting he picked for the date. This is the same girl who has a child and she’s a child herself…isn’t she 21 years old?
Nevertheless, Chris feels they have a lot in common, especially after she discusses on having a son, being a single mom and for some odd reason he ends up giving her a rose so for right now he’s clueless and I think it’s okay because usually the first date never outlives the rest of the season.
A new date card comes in and it’s for Megan and she’s thinking it’s a note card or a love note card I don’t understand some women in here. Hello!!! When a date card comes in with your name it means you’re going out on a date. Sheesh.
As the episode wears on, McKenzie’s shares her date with the other ladies and admits that she got the first kiss. Little does anyone know that on that first night of meeting Britt actually got the first kiss.
Chris comes over to pick up Megan for their one-on-one date and of course all the girls are very giddy and beside themselves. What a lot of the girls don’t understand usually the girls that go on a date early on usually miss out later on because a connection could build up much stronger where he will lose interest and pursue the most current. At least this is what has been apparent season after season.
They drive to an airport where there’s a small aircraft waiting for them heading to I’m not sure where.
The plane lands in Las Vegas and from there they jet on a helicopter to the Grand Canyon’s breath taking views where a picnic awaits them. Let us remind ourselves that The Bachelor series will feature all of these trips with views to die for where anyone can be infatuated easily. It’s the survival of the relationship when they can live in real life with no cameras following them.
While sharing a meal Megan goes on to tell Chris three days after she had received a phone call from the bachelor casting people her father had passed away and it just makes me think how much drama these women have. The casting agency must know all of their dramatic stuff so that they could put it in the forefront and this is probably why the fatality rate of the relationship is higher than it being successful and finding less needy women who are 25 and thinking if they don’t get married and have children within a three year span all will be lost and they will be regarded as a failure.
I remember in the in the fourth season of the Bachelor with Bob Guiney. Right down to the wire, Meredith gets a call that one of her family members passed away. Now through no fault of her own, Bob Guiney was not prepared to handle such devastation, let alone still in the process of getting to know here and the three other women that were left. Because of this he ended up sending her home, advising her that it was best that she’d be with her family.
Chris goes into a similar spiel that he gave McKenzie and asked her if she will accept the rose that he had for her and of course she does. No one will turn down a rose in this joint. LOL
The group date card arrives and the names are as follows:
Kelsey, Trina, Alyssa, Tracie, Jillian, Becca, Amber, Ashlee S, Juelia, Kaitlyn and Britt. Date card reads “till us death do us part”.
Later that evening, the limo pulled into what looks like a dilapidated building it’s a very dark and they’re basically in the middle of nowhere.
All of the sudden zombies appear around the limo basically scaring the shit out of all of them which was pretty funny and then Chis opens the car door. They look so petrified that one of them took a drink before she headed out of the car was hilarious.
The game they are about to play is paintball and the target are zombies. They have to split into teams and I’m gathering the team that wins is the one that gets to spend time with him.
Ashley starts getting technical because she thinks that you have to shoot your selves and not the zombies I’m not sure why she’s on the show. I wasn’t sure what to make of this zombie hunt and Ashley is walking around like the terminator which probably now makes sense thinking back on this episode. I guess we all would want to know how a woman will react with a “gun” in her hand. If not it seems it’s all about the frree alcohol because that’s what the focus seems to be.
 Kaitlyn, the dancer, had some one-on-one time with Chris talking about the breakdancing and the dancing that they did in etc. etc. she goes in to talk about her last relationship and how she lived out of the country and Chris feeling like wow she does great smart and sassy girl what would she want with me etc. etc. and then they go and kiss. He seems to be kissing everybody now.
I think Ashley forgot to take her medication and he definitely made a mistake picking her over the yoga teacher. And as the dates continue, Ashley seems to be all over the place. I don’t know if the whole situation has gotten the better of her (if there is a better), while Chris was in the middle of interviewing she comes in and she starts talking to him and he seems concerned. I’m left confused watching this debacle because I don’t know if she’s acting or there’s something quite not right with this woman. Chris says that she’s a unique girl it’s more like uniquely crazy.
Britt, who pulled him aside, has made it a point to keep the relationship alive from their first kiss on the first episode but when he hands out the rose he gives it to Kaitlyn.

Within the second cocktail party the girls are asking who has roses so far it’s McKenzie, Kaitlyn and Megan, leaving the rest of the ladies anxious because they don’t want to go home, name Kimberly who did not receive a rose on the initial group date.

Whitney who’s banking on a rose gives him a bottle of whiskey so that he would have some recollection of who she is and telling him that she is looking forward to building a journey with him.
These are notes I made while watching: Ashley I is a virgin. When she pulls Chris’s side to talk to him, her conversations remain to be seen, when all she wants to do is kiss which she doesn’t seem to be doing very well. I don’t know, but that was probably one of the worst and awkward kisses I’ve ever seen in my life. Don’t know why Britt is crying as far as I’m concerned she has nothing to worry about I don’t think that Ashley I is going to last very long, Jordan, also continues to make a fool out of herself too. I’m not sure why these girls are crying like they just invested a lifetime with Farmer Chris and this is only episode two. Makes me wonder what they are really crying about…is it Chris or the mere fact they won’t be on television.
And the roses goes to! Rose ceremony number two:
Britt
Ashley I.
Trina
Kelsey
Samantha
Juelia (for some reason Jillian who was standing in front of Juelia tripped and then busted out laughing)
Amber
Tracy
Jillian
Jade
Nikki
Becca
Carly
Whitney
Chris ends up giving the final rose to crazy Ashley S. and not to Kimberly the yoga teacher which makes me wonder what the fuck is going on in the Farmer’s mind.

The most notable who did not get a rose:
Tara is beside herself in tears.
Jordan gave him a very unusual bro hug like “see ya around”.
Kimberly, who didn’t make a beeline back to house, is not coming back this time.
I think the idea to this show is very sad because you watch these women walking away hysterical crying thinking that it was them who did something wrong and most times it’s not.
As for Kimberly, I’m not sure why Farmer Chris would opt out of choosing her and keeping Ashley S. The woman is not all there and clearly there’s no connection, other than her “crazy” is good for television.

Why Men are Threatened by Women?

If you think you’re going to read this blog looking for the answer, forget it. I can say a variety of sarcastic things like I did this morning.

Which leads to why I’m writing this in the first place.

This morning I was reading something about the Terms of Service regarding Instagram. As most know, Mark (S)Zuckerberg bought Instagram and to NOT my surprise, he’s fucking it up just as I predicted this summer.

While the filters are all fun, if anyone has noticed I haven’t been utilizing instagram as much as I did this summer. Not because of the TOS but because I get bored easily. And while it was fun for me, it’s kind of played out it’s course.

Again, I’m just speaking for me.

After reading @CynicalLongkat sarcastically and humorous comments, I wrote something funny along the same lines as he when some asshole chimed in the conversation calling me a hater.

A Hater?

Why?

Since when is expressing greed of another is being a hater?

If I choose to make any comments about Mark Zuckerberg it has to do with the mere fact of what the media is discussing, take this article for example from the #NYTimes.http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/what-instagrams-new-terms-of-service-mean-for-you/

So now I have someone calling me mindless names and telling me that I need to be fucked with a hard cock because he started a “debate” that I was losing.

Wow….

Lets get the record straight. I like to be fucked with a hard cock because if it’s soft nothing really happens there.

Second, calling someone a hater isn’t starting a debate, you’re name calling.

Third, you’re a life coach? I never heard of any life coaches responding in this manner. He will actually begin a trend where authentic life coaches will call themselves another name so they won’t be associated with stupidity.

Forth, you most likely have a small dick.

ANY MAN who attacks a woman in an open forum clearly has issues within himself.

Men that I encounter on a daily basis, even the sexual pervs have respect.

Why is that? Because the sexual pervs want more and they know how to work there way around getting more so they can get off. It would be pointless to curse you out.

Men who troll find an opening where they can attack women because of their own inability to cope with women who are empowerment, business savvy and possess inner strength. That type of man, ladies, is someone to stay far way from.

They are the ones I watch on Investigation Discovery Channel.

While I don’t have one answer to my questions, I do have another answer that may help. See a psychiatric and for your small penis problem, you just have to live with that.

And I just need to clarify that this is not an attack on all men because most men are pretty good guys, it’s just these mindless assholes that are not even worthy to be regarded as human is the point I hope everyone can understand.

I had to apologize to my Twitter followers because for me, seeing banters of mindless arguments on Twitter is just stupid. Debate, yes, but name calling, no. Twitter is a social network, but a lot of people still haven’t figured that out.

As for Instagram, if you have an account read the TOS, you can delete your account before January 16th without being affected if you chose to.

Thank you for reading. Keep it #KinkE

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

 

BTW follow  @CynicalLongkat funny and sarcastic good stuff. 😉

The Bachelor – Ben Season Commentary

I have to say first and foremost as I’m working on the new and improved Kink~E Magazine, I’m getting excited at the prospects of writing exactly how I feel. Not too long ago, someone I’ve known for quite sometime, even before the magazine had asked me what happened with the way the magazine was forming and where was I…it seemed that I was lost.

And yes he was right. I was lost. There were so many unnecessary changes it was almost as if someone came and took something that was working just find to fix it and break it. Thankfully it wasn’t that broken that there isn’t anything that couldn’t be repaired. On the contrary, I’ve learned many lessons when someone comes in with “bright ideas”. You can listen to them, it doesn’t mean that you have to do what they say.

That being said, it’s time for me to rip apart The Bachelor (boy do I miss this type of writing).

First off, if anyone is watching this, please tell me you are asking the same questions I am…what the fuck drugs is some of this women on? Courtney clearly is a drunk. Her whole face is drunk. Anyone that looks at her can see that, anyone that is except Ben. Then there’s Elyse….um why is she still there? Clearly there isn’t a drop of chemistry between the two. Moving on to Blakeley, other then looking like a life size camel, can someone tell me what the hell is a VIP Hostess? Second the woman was hugging up on Monica on day one and now Monica hates her. By the way can someone tell me why Monica is still there?

The girl who drove in a horse Lindzi, should be worried. She received the first impression rose and didn’t have a one on one, that is until Brittney who was supposed to have a one one with him did the only thing a real woman would do was walk away when she didn’t feel that this was the way she wanted to pursue a relationship. In the scope of being locked up on a room with caddy women acting like Ben is the last man on earth, I think Brittney made the best adult choice I have seen in a long time of watching various seasons of The Bachelor and Bachelorette.

I could have sworn I read a comment somewhere earlier this evening about the women not being great choices for this season. Whoever said that, Kudos! You’re right. Out of twenty five women, three of them I can clearly see they have their head on their shoulders AND a career. Courtney has neither. Does she realize that women who used to be models have built a career in other ways than the runway or camera? (cough cough Hedi Klume)

Look not every one can be or will be the next Heidi Klume, I like her. She’s done well for herself.

And then Shawntel. *Shaking my head* girl what were you thinking? If Ben had any interest in you, he wouldn’t have joined the show in the first place! How many times did you guys talk? Did you ever meet? Go out on a date? Look if the man had ANY interest, we would be watching someone else right now. Clearly, (like one man I do know) there is no interest. Even if there was, he would have given that final rose up and he wouldn’t have cared how it would have effected the other women there. After all look at the way Elyse reacted. You would have thought she had sex with Ben just a few hours earlier the way she was carrying on and they haven’t even kissed yet (unless I missed something).

Elyse will be caught up in one of those two on one dates and probably be sent home packing.

And now for my greatest disappointment Jenna….honey what the fuck happened? A relationship blogger, living in the “greatest” (and I use the term loosely) city, New York City. A place where there aren’t really a lot of men to meet and have a real relationship with.

What was all the crying about? Why did you let someone like Monica get to you? What a disappointment. I can hear Chris Harrison now after he plays the assorted footage of your short stint there, all tears and talking nothing but gibberish, “Come join me in the hot seat”….*Shaking my head again*

What can I say. It’s 1:41pm. I feel good about finally letting all of this out.

I’m not done. LOL

It’s amazing what happens when you put a group of women together in a reality television series. Mike Wells must be sitting pretty a top of his mountain, laughing at the women who are pining and fighting over one man. Or are they just fighting for the notoriety and the fame.

In real life, not all women that come together behave in this fashion, however, not all women, especially the ones that I have come to know, sometimes do not have their heads in the right place.  I’m not one to have drama, and I don’t invite it. I’m like Brittney. If you want to behave crazy, do it by yourself. Obviously you were doing a good job at it before I came along and it won’t make a difference if I’m not around to witness it.

I think it’s just sad that women are depicted with such craziness as if we don’t have enough of that going on in the world.

Earlier today as I was blocking three people I wish them not to view my twitter feed, I caught some stuff from this one particular person making serious accusations at someone without solid proof. While I will spare the details, I will say this. Once you write something and put it out there for the world to see, you can’t take it back. Like me calling Blakeley a life size camel. (yes I did say it again deliberately). Needless to say, it’s amazing how people reading this garbage will just follow along and agree, again, with ZERO prove other than one person’s resentment.

For my own sanity, personally and business wise, I chose not to interact with this person for a variety of reasons that seriously concerned me and how it would effect my business as a whole.

There’s a reason why our mothers, fathers or whoever raised us, read us bedtime stories. If we listened closely, there was always a moral to every story. Just because it came in sheep’s clothing’s it doesn’t mean there’s a wolf behind it. And it he or she show’s you the wolf first…look out for the things that will suck you dry of all the good energy you have.

Those are called, my dear KinkESters….DEMENTORS!

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~