Let’s Make it Clear

primitive  social style

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on my WordPress blog so here we go. I think it’s about time for a post like this, long overdue.

So, for the last few months, I’ve been trolling and watching the social medialites blab on their soliloquies, wondering if anyone is really listening or reading for that matter.

A few months ago, one of the automated paper.li tweets mentioned a person (who shall remain nameless), who became upset at the fact they were mentioned.

What the fuck, I thought to myself. Why is this person getting a hair up their ass over being mentioned by paper.li – when the paper is actually promoting their stupid shit.

I’m not one to argue with people on Twitter. The back and forth banter just doesn’t look good and at the end of the day, I’m running a business. I’m not here to throw mud at idiots (maybe once in a while LOL).

So I ended up blocking this person. Funny this person has noted in their profile they’re a coach or expert on some sort of fetish thing.

Right….and I’m an expert on building the Brooklyn Bridge.

Yet again, a similar incident happened with another person, who shall remain nameless. Bear in mind, some of these people are not even worth putting on blast and I’ll get to that “why” in a minute.

I see a response from the paper.li tweet, “Please take me off this or I will have you all blocked”, something to that effect. This time I didn’t hold back.  My response was pretty clear about this automated tweet and if you don’t like it we’ll just block you.  #stuckup

I mean really? What the fuck is wrong with people? Yet here’s another one who owns something similar to Kink~E Magazine #WeOpenTheDoor – all of these sites mind you are the same as my magazine.

Now I’m not saying Kink~E Magazine was the first fetish magazine ever. Back in the day, newspapers and personals were used in order to connect with kink communities. The only logical way back then was connecting via newspapers and personals through letter writing and perhaps phone contact.

When I began establishing my presence online was in mid 2000, when AOL gave you your own webpage as part of your subscription and I began keeping an online diary of my blind dates.  My friends thought I was insane to put my life out there, but at the time, and still now, I didn’t care. It was a great way for me to share exactly what was going on in my life, what I felt about blind dating and the blind dating itself. This was sort of a release for me. Life wasn’t good for me back then. I made a terrible choice that ended up saving my life. I did’t see it then but I see it now. Anyway as part of my restoration of self progress I was keeping these online dairies and it helped me put a lot of things into perspective with my life, myself and my needs of what I wanted in a relationship.

Even when guys got wind of my blogging, I realized they were only dating me so I can blog about them, even when they knew there was a bigger possibility of me writing not so good things about them. Maybe they were learning themselves how to be better on the next date. Who knows?

I did discover this. Because of my blogging, I was able to connect with women who related to the horrors of blind dating and it gave me an idea on how to expand on that and incorporating fetish lifestyle, one I personally live and enjoy. It was important for me to connect some type of alternative lifestyle because it wasn’t good for women to secretly keep ideas of fetish to themselves or feel shame to express something they really liked and wanted to explore. So there’s your bit of history of Kink~E Magazine.

The Internet was just booming by then and other than your local newspapers, how many fetish magazine sites did you find in 2002 as oppose to now? Today we are saturated with endless means of fetish advice, domination along with the fakers looking to rake in fast cash without having to honor what they say they are offering.

I’m not going to put down my magazine by any means.  I really believe that having this opportunity, I opened the door along with others who are still around today who believe in promoting the alternative lifestyle correctly.

I’m sure anyone that looks at the magazine thinks to themselves, “Oh I can do this better”.  I’m sure you can.

On the other hand, thanks to my business management courses and communication courses (yes unlike most I’m actually getting a real degree), I continue to transition the magazine and once again it will be seeing another transition. So while people are taking a back seat stealing ideas, they have yet to see what my pretty little head is putting together.

One thing I’ve learned about all of these social medialites and their sites, everyone is a “shark” waiting for their hater to disclose what they are doing so they can copy it. Don’t think I even noticed one site who conveniently copied the same last four digits of my business phone number. (Yeah I caught that).

Now back to my “why” point about not putting people on blast. First and foremost they aren’t worth it. Second and most importantly, why bother give these assholes any type of notoriety?

If you’re paying attention to your social media feed, really read what people are writing. If you’re following someone who’s apparently some coach of sorts, why is it they become easily offended over a tweet that’s actually promoting them? Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of someone who claims they are here to enhance your self esteem but catch an attitude at the mere fact they are being mentioned in a positive way? Also, think about this, why aren’t people looking up what paper.li is?

It’s super easy. All you have to do is go on google and type in paper.li…wow how simple is that?

Here’s another thing about me. I’m not one to pitch a fucking fit if someone tags me on something. Actually, I’m grateful that other people in supporting communities think of me or my magazine to tag us and help them not only promote but inform.

Wow…let’s read that word again….”Inform”.

me

Resting Bitch Face Part II

I mean I would think so….unless I missed the memo of the weekly stupidity report. (I always seem to miss those.)

Oh this is a good example. Recently, the President and his wife went on a venture trip and part of that trip was to visit the Pope. According to protocol, the first lady is supposed to dress in black with a veil. The next day I get up and there are hash tags going around she’s dressing for her future.

Look, motherfuckers, it’s shit like this that pisses me off. I think to myself how other countries must look at us and how stupid we are. Does anyone do their homework or research or are you taking things at face value.  I go and look up as to why Melania Trump is dressed like this and find out when Michelle Obama when to visit the pope with her husband she was also dressed in the same get up. So where was the hashtag for her? Not…right? Protocol dummies. #DoYourHomework

I never thought I would see such a level of stupidity and on a daily basis.

Am I pissed off? Hell yeah? Please people wake up and read. Take a history course. If you don’t know something or a term in social media, look the shit up before flying off on the deep end making all sorts of unrealistic threats, especially over a mention on paper.li. There is too much shit going on in this world to solely focus on hate that’s not going to change.  Hello Manchester fucking assholes. While everyone is diluted in their own hate look at the shit going on around you!

I mean, really?

And then here we are back at the lab where you have some of these bitches talking about they’re a coach? An advisor? A sexpert (now there’s a recent term for the last few years).

All of these are great names while most aren’t backed up with a degree. #Sad.

What’s even sadder is no one is evolving. People spend more time copying and not really make a real name for themselves other than social media. Whoever their followers are, they make a star for themselves but let me tell you ladies, once you step out the door of your apartment, you are like everyone else. No one is stopping you in the street for an autograph. You’re not getting nominated for Person of the Year in Time Magazine or a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

I’m not sure what we are coming to. Almost frightening when I think about it.  I try to stay in my own lane and focus on finishing my book An Illegal Affair (which is in its final stages before proofreading), but at times I veer off course and see stupid shit like, (in valley girl voice), “you betta take me off that tweet or I’m going to block you”.

Really, fuck you bitch. No one has time for such meagerness.

Good luck being 60 and thinking you’re going to get some man to pay you for a BDSM session.

That’s the funny part. Some of these women are forgetting day by day they are getting older.

Better think about your future princesses.

Until then.

Marabelle Blue~

Leaving New York…

byebyeplateAbout a month ago I tried putting this post up and it wouldn’t let me save into draft form and it wouldn’t let me post either which was weird.

Despite the technical difficulties, I wanted to share my feelings from the past until now in regards to leaving NYC.

About a month ago, I received an offer I just could not refuse. Through my current employer (yes I do have a day job), an opening came up I couldn’t bypass and after several weeks of interviewing I was offered the position.

I never really shared with anyone about the job or what my plans were. It was probably my best kept secret. Sure I shared with a few close friends, but nothing I needed to share on social media, public or personal.

Once the job was offered, it took me forever to pack. Not realizing how much shit I had, I never really organized myself in this move. Being depressed every now and then didn’t help and of course my parents were too busy to help me pack. I’m not sure what was going on with me. It was a distressed feeling as through the packing was draining me.

I saved everything for the last minute. It was just awful. As excited I was to move, I was still suffering with some form of depression. Even in the state of mind I was finally leaving NYC, I couldn’t shake the dead weight of my mind.

Needless to say, once I did make an announcement I was moving, everyone was sending me messages, asking where was I moving to. Some people didn’t realize they were on a need to know basis, on top of that was any one of these people for me when other things were going on in my life where I could have used a friend? Now, relocating, suddenly people want to be your friend.

No thank you.

Of course a select few were chosen to know, people who I regard as friends.

Right down to the last week, I got cheap to buy more boxes to move the rest of my things into storage since there was only so much money to go around it was either move me or move my things. (Hence the go fund me page www.gofundme.com/mbluemove).

While my stuff is hauled up in storage due to arrive the later part of January, I have to say relocating was the best choice I ever made for my life.

I never thought I would feel a sense of peace. I had been extremely unhappy in NYC since 2009, all I ever wanted to do was leave. When this opportunity came, what better way to go.

It was emotionally taxing to leave. A city I loved for so long felt as though every turn I made to try something new and better myself, wasn’t happening in an overpriced residence. I didn’t like my neighbors anymore, the noise became unbearable. The constant shoving and being squashed by people on the 1 line with those tiny chairs no one fit unless you were like 5 years old, just wasn’t cutting it for me.

My friend has asked me the last two weeks if I miss the Bronx….well.

I don’t.

NYC served its purpose. Something similar my ex said in 2001 when I thought we were working towards reconciliation. Some things serve a purpose and once that purpose is fulfilled, it’s time to move on.

For those of you wondering (and if you’ve seen my instagram posts you already know), I live in Arizona now. Close to Vegas and California. I was scared it would become a “Squidville” episode (for those who watch Spongebob), but thankfully it hasn’t.

I have found a bit of peace in the sea of my own chaos…the ones that live in my head. 😉

And finally you know that crazy question people ask….did you take all your animals? I ask., did you take all your children when you moved?

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

 

Keeping My Options Open…

henotintoEver meet someone and think, wow this may be a person I can hang out with and see where it goes. Then you start talking and that statement comes out, “I’m not looking to be in a relationship”.

I’ve heard this before. I once dated a very sexy attorney who said the same thing and for eight months we spent a lot of time together. We went out to dinners, lunch, to his place of course.

I’ve spent weekends with him, but after eight months, the statement still stood, “I’m not looking to be in a relationship”.

And with that, after an argument we had, an emailed titled “Us”, before I opened it, I knew it was over. I didn’t cry. I expected it. He was a great man. I don’t have a bad thing to say about him. I really don’t. But he wanted to play the field and I wasn’t there in my life to be with someone I had to share, that is till a few months I met someone else, but that’s another story for another time.

Anyway, so back to the “new” guy. We met towards the end of summer, he was a “newbie” to our dog run and my neighbor noticed he was checking me out. To be quite honest, I wasn’t sure if he was, I wasn’t sure if he was straight but he is LOL.

After running into each other several times and talking, we both learned, we are single (good start), we have similar values and belief systems, we both like to laugh and joke a lot, however there a holes in this “developing relationship”.

For someone who says they are interested, the behavior doesn’t match up. Sure he knows about me and my magazine, interviews, etc but how does that affect how we interact with each other, it doesn’t seem to get in the way of who we are as individuals. And for someone who says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, doesn’t act like he’s attracted to me either, words, like “my hang out buddy”, isn’t something that leads to anything romantic, at least not in my book.

The awkward hugs, the let’s get together and meet up at the dog run and hang out isn’t my idea of getting to know one other while my dogs are freezing out in the cold (and me too), what about diner time, talking in a place where we won’t get thrown out right away. Nope, that’s not happening. Any phone calls during the day, no, but I get texts periodically. Some days are more than others when he’s talking about projects and skit writing he suddenly wants to do.

Anyone seeing a pattern here?

Other than someone I can relate to in writing scripts or books, there isn’t really anything else there other than wishful thinking.

Last night I asked him if he was attracted to me. His response was yes, but he’s reserved because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. And he also said, “if I wasn’t attracted to you, I wouldn’t be here with you right now”.

Well I feel better already [sarcasm].

That feeling creeps over, “what is wrong with me”.

Disappointed? Yes.

However, I know what I’m looking for. It’s not to spend another eight months with someone and get hurt in the end.

When a man says he’s not looking to be in a relationship, believe him. The worst thing in the world is to know a man doesn’t feel you are deserving enough to spend time with.

Keep your self esteem because there’s someone out there who will appreciate you for it.

Moving on…

Until then.

Love and Hugs,
Marabelle Blue

The Difference Between Fantasy and Reality

If there’s one thing I know about myself, people can always talk to me about what’s on their mind and I’m happy for that.

It had me regress to a memory I had of a guy I started speaking to on Twitter, no less, who wanted to share with me what he was looking for in a relationship. We went out for breakfast, and as we ate he proceeded to share with me his woes of what he has experienced in past relationships.  And now he was interested in looking to be involved in a D/s relationship.

Okay, understandable, he’s looking to explore something new I thought to myself, until he graphically explained how he wanted someone to sit on his face (someone like me) – considering the view that sat across from me, sitting on pancakes dripping with syrup was much more enticing. 

I’m pretty sure I established I wasn’t looking for anything serious. Also in financial domination sitting on anyone’s face is not a requirement. I know Domina’s who will wear full clad latex and the man will never see beyond that latex. To me this is true Domination. Why have people gotten lost in the sauce with BDSM?

I’m not sure why guys do not take me seriously at all when I fully express I’m not interested in them in any way shape or form. They think some how some way ,”I’m going to say the right thing and she’s going to change her mind.”

It will never happen, trust me.

Just recently a man on my facebook page unfriend me for that very reason. It came to a point where I stopped answering his emails every time I posted something. And out loud in a post, I told him straight out, “I’m not interested in you….”

Did it really have to go that far? I mean what was wrong with the way I said it privately? 

There are a variety of reasons why people feel the need to pursue or persuade a girl to be with them. And while maybe in movies it’s cute, it’s cute because the leading role is played by Josh Duhamel or Jake Gyllenhaal. But real life is a totally different game and people are truly at a loss.

There’s nothing wrong with knowing your worth. I had a friend a while back advise me on just that. I guess she saw I was just going out with anyone and getting hurt in the process because of MY unrealistic expectations. Knowing your worth is not about finding the most beautiful person on the outside, it’s about finding the most beautiful person on the inside. 

While I may like my eye candy, I still know my worth. And believe me when I tell you, the personality inside will override the eye candy outside.

Relationships are all about chemistry. It is not forced, it’s not a fantasy come true. It’s about a true connection and if only one person is feeling it then it might as well stay a fantasy.

Think of it as a song. All of this music audition shows, have you ever watched one person take a song and just milk the lyric while holding the note thinking that this is going to take them to the top and everyone will remember how they rode that note?

Of course everyone will remember. The will remember the idiot who couldn’t just sing the song.

As for the guy who thought I was going to sit on his face…he eventually unfollowed me on Twitter. I think he realized his “swag” didn’t work on me, nor was it ever going to.