Leaving New York…

byebyeplateAbout a month ago I tried putting this post up and it wouldn’t let me save into draft form and it wouldn’t let me post either which was weird.

Despite the technical difficulties, I wanted to share my feelings from the past until now in regards to leaving NYC.

About a month ago, I received an offer I just could not refuse. Through my current employer (yes I do have a day job), an opening came up I couldn’t bypass and after several weeks of interviewing I was offered the position.

I never really shared with anyone about the job or what my plans were. It was probably my best kept secret. Sure I shared with a few close friends, but nothing I needed to share on social media, public or personal.

Once the job was offered, it took me forever to pack. Not realizing how much shit I had, I never really organized myself in this move. Being depressed every now and then didn’t help and of course my parents were too busy to help me pack. I’m not sure what was going on with me. It was a distressed feeling as through the packing was draining me.

I saved everything for the last minute. It was just awful. As excited I was to move, I was still suffering with some form of depression. Even in the state of mind I was finally leaving NYC, I couldn’t shake the dead weight of my mind.

Needless to say, once I did make an announcement I was moving, everyone was sending me messages, asking where was I moving to. Some people didn’t realize they were on a need to know basis, on top of that was any one of these people for me when other things were going on in my life where I could have used a friend? Now, relocating, suddenly people want to be your friend.

No thank you.

Of course a select few were chosen to know, people who I regard as friends.

Right down to the last week, I got cheap to buy more boxes to move the rest of my things into storage since there was only so much money to go around it was either move me or move my things. (Hence the go fund me page www.gofundme.com/mbluemove).

While my stuff is hauled up in storage due to arrive the later part of January, I have to say relocating was the best choice I ever made for my life.

I never thought I would feel a sense of peace. I had been extremely unhappy in NYC since 2009, all I ever wanted to do was leave. When this opportunity came, what better way to go.

It was emotionally taxing to leave. A city I loved for so long felt as though every turn I made to try something new and better myself, wasn’t happening in an overpriced residence. I didn’t like my neighbors anymore, the noise became unbearable. The constant shoving and being squashed by people on the 1 line with those tiny chairs no one fit unless you were like 5 years old, just wasn’t cutting it for me.

My friend has asked me the last two weeks if I miss the Bronx….well.

I don’t.

NYC served its purpose. Something similar my ex said in 2001 when I thought we were working towards reconciliation. Some things serve a purpose and once that purpose is fulfilled, it’s time to move on.

For those of you wondering (and if you’ve seen my instagram posts you already know), I live in Arizona now. Close to Vegas and California. I was scared it would become a “Squidville” episode (for those who watch Spongebob), but thankfully it hasn’t.

I have found a bit of peace in the sea of my own chaos…the ones that live in my head. đŸ˜‰

And finally you know that crazy question people ask….did you take all your animals? I ask., did you take all your children when you moved?

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

 

Adventures at the Zoo – Rethink Your Parenting Skills

So I’m going to say this and keep it as short and sweet as I can because this is just outrages.

When I was a little girl, my parents took me to the Bronx Zoo, as a matter of fact they took me the zoo quite often. It was almost as if we went a couple of times a month (probably not but it felt that way).

Now think, times were different when I was a little girl. I don’t think society was as evil as it was back in the seventies but also there wasn’t an internet so having the internet keeps evil shit in our face.

This whole thing with the kid “falling” into the gorilla den and having the gorilla killed because of it, the parents should be held fully accountable. How stupid are these parents they didn’t see their child fall?

funny-ecards-stupid-people

Hello, the kid is 3 years old!!!! What the fuck? Do you not have a stroller they can sit in when they get tired of walking? What kind fucking parent are you?

There is nothing that pisses me off when an animal is killed because of mindless stupid ass parents who act like their child is ready to venture out and explore life at a year old.

Why do people become parents? Why do they decide to have children? Ask yourself?

I’m not a mother but I’m also not stupid. I think I have enough common sense to know if there’s a place where my child may not be safe, why let them roam around?

My parents have footage of me at the zoo and guess what? There was a STROLLER my mom pushed around when I decided to get cranky and tired of walking.

I don’t know if it’s me or people who are becoming parents of the 21st century are just god damn stupid.

Just last week I’m on 34th Street crossing the street from Macy’s going towards 8th avenue when the couple in front of me has two babies, one in a carriage and one in a stroller. Asshole man, doesn’t have his baby tied up, missed lifting the stroller on to the sidewalk and where is the kid? Flat out on the floor. SMH.

I don’t know people…ya’ll better get it together if you’re going to take care of another human being. I mean if you can’t take care of yourself, maybe you should rethink about becoming a parent.

It’s the same way when people wanted these manufactured mini dogs to carry around in their purse. Guess what? You have to take care of them too!

Do I think the parents should be charged? Absolutely.

There’s my rant, take it or leave it. I can care less. LOL.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

Duck Dynasty vs. Free Speech

Reality television has afforded us to see how other people live in their personal lives and thoughts, all played out in front of the camera.

Having studied acting and being in front of the camera my questions has always been (when it came to reality TV) when do they say action and when do they say cut?

I guess it’s going to be as real as it can get, right?

So the big news in the media today is Phil Robertson and the disparaging comments he has made about gay people.

GLAAD as well as many other Gay and Lesbian Communities are in an outrage and rightly so.

I can’t say enough of, “In our day and age of technology”, either people sit and hide behind their computer to assassinate anyone they feel “entitled” to or you have these make-believe “celebrity” television personalities that open their mouth and speak without thinking. Just because you’re in reality television it doesn’t give anyone permission to run their mouths off on how other people live.

BUT they do!

Welcome to the real world darlings!

Someone made a comment today about how come no one came to Paula Dean’s defense because she used the “N” word.

Look there’s a double edge sword in everything we say and everything we do. Bottom line.

While I don’t agree with Paula, the fact remains that in New York City where our communities are working class and/or no class, the conversations among the young disgusts me to no end.

Just the other day I heard a woman yelling at her child and her exact words were, “What’s the matter with you my n***a, pay attention when I’m talking to you.”

Other conversations I’ve heard in and out of the Bronx, “yo my n***a, she was like….” or “yo my n****a, that play was hot”

My point being if you haven’t gotten it already, how can anyone be in an uproar over a word that is used time and time again. WHO GIVES A FUCK IF IT ENDS WITH AN “A” IT’S WRONG! PERIOD!

In all my years and my friends that I grew up with which were all black, I have never heard them speak this way and I’m sure I never will. Why? Because they respect themselves, as humans, as a community!

You can’t expect for people to respect you if you can’t respect yourself, in how you speak and how you carry yourself.

I’m a woman with a very strong Puerto Rican heritage. My father instilled in me to learn English correctly if not no one will respect you. He remains correct! And while people ask me where is my “accent” from, am I from California (no I’m not) but learning proper English was just as important to me as my first language, Spanish.

We can’t stop people from thinking a certain way and “Lord” knows what stigmas I get because I say I’m Puerto Rican. But I don’t care. Because those stigmas do not make me the woman that I am. I’m Human. A Woman. A Business Owner. A Writer. A Thinker. A Dreamer. A Sarcastic Bitch. Get it?

Now that I’ve made my point, lets get back to Mr. Phil Robertson and WHY WE SHOULD BE UPSET!

The Gay and Lesbian Community has come such a long way. In a time of the sexual revolution where everything was undercover and secretive, there weren’t so many outlets where someone who had “different” feelings can go and seek help or just even someone to talk to that can relate and say, it’s okay.

Who the fuck made us perfect? The Bible is packed with a bunch of lies that man has written to make society believe that if you do something out of the “norm” you will be damned to hell. Such words are away to get people to conform and that’s not what society is about.

We always keep forgetting why the Middle East is at war and probably will always be, #RELIGION

People use Religion to justify their own outrages sort of nonsense, to judge and to say “I am right and YOU are wrong.”

The Gay and Lesbian Community are tightly knit, they respect one another and have built an alliance within their own space where one can go and seek advice, guidance to find the freedom to live with their hearts and to accept who they are as humans and that not everyone will think or agree with what how they live.

When I first got clean and sober more than 22 years ago, I used to hear the term in meetings, lets agree to disagree.

Getting off drugs and alcohol was enough now people wanted to confuse the shit out of me with these terms.

Eventually I got it.

We will not always agree. We will always digress, we will always get better, think differently or maybe not. But what a concept it is when we just allow people to live their own lives and others can mind their own business.

I don’t know when this became such a difficult task.

Until then.

Marabelle Blue~