The New Fade-A-Way – When Your “Friends” Choose Their Man over You.

Back in 2003 to¬†2006, I was dating heavily. I was so open to meeting guys and perhaps being in a new relationship, the thoughts of falling in love excited me. However, my “imaginary prince” was never found or he didn’t find me….yet.

Well back then, when my friends and I were discussing the new phase of online dating and meeting an assortment of guys, or not, we found one common theme started to happen to us and to many other women….the fade-a-way.

Women who were literally investing time with a guy they felt, “wow this guy may be the one, at least for now”, establishing new relationships for weeks and then suddenly, *POOF*, the guy is gone with no explanation. More than half of the times, these woman haven’t had sex with the guy. Such a very similar situation happened with me I’ll share with you.

It was 2004 (I think), Myspace was the social media platform everyone was using. Probably one of the best that followed Friendster (remember that?). Not only did you get to meet creative and eclectic people on Myspace, but you also got to meet guys. Such as one guy I “met” who lived out in PA. He actually reached out to me and our small talk became intimate immediately. He shared personal things with me regarding his family life and changes that were taking place in his life as he was taking custody of his two children at the time.

We would talk for hours. He was someone I really saw establishing a relationship with. A well to do guy, two young children, in the middle of purchasing a house.

There were some initial questions I asked myself, was I willing to move to another state, was I willing to become a stepmom and perhaps endure family issues that was currently happening wit the natural mom if she decided to stay in the picture, etc. etc.

Yes there was a lot to consider at the time and yes I was willing to take on the responsibility.

I was careful not to share my thoughts with him because when you really like someone, you don’t to scare them off, so I stood silent about my feelings.

Weeks had gone by without incident as he shared with me how he was preparing for an upcoming custody court case. Since that was the pressing topic we spoke more about that and flirted about meeting and being together.

When the day came for his court hearing, I sent him a message wishing him luck and to contact me when he was done. I didn’t anticipate to hear from right away but when a few hours flew by and I hadn’t heard anything, i grew genuinely concerned. Did something go wrong? Did the judge not agree with him on some issue?

After that I contacted him again and asked if everything was okay…no answer. A whole day had gone by with no response.

I contacted him later in the evening and still no answer. Couldn’t get a grip if something seriously had gone wrong and he just wasn’t willing to talk about it. Although my feelings were hurt, I figured, okay he needs some time, so hopefully I’ll hear from him tomorrow and he’ll be willing to talk about it.

Tomorrow and the days that followed, nothing. Not a word. I read and reread our emails, checking to see if I said something wrong. Nope, didn’t find anything there. I checked his profile on Myspace and “surprise” he had logged in. That was the beauty of Myspace, you can always see the last login of the person. I realized then, this was a fade-a-way. It was nothing I said wrong, it was just another dummy who couldn’t and didn’t have the balls to say, “hey, I like you a lot but I feel on my end it’s not going to work out for me.”

Sure I would have been hurt, but I’m a grown ass woman. At some point I was going to get over it. In the same note, I wondered why would I want to be with a man who wasn’t forthcoming or honest and this is the same man who will be raising two young children. What will he be teaching them?

Needless to say, for that story, I did look him up on facebook, as woman do and think I was glad his next relationship was with someone who was butt ugly.

Now that I’ve shared this story, here’s the wrapping up point (I say all this to say), recently two people one who was in my life since 2000 and the other was in my life since 2013 have long disappeared without any explanation, except, wait a minute, their relationships dictated who they should remain friends with.

If there’s one thing I can’t stand is when a woman devalues her friendships with the one man who can give a fuck less when they break up with you after they’ve built you up to evolve your whole life around them.

It sucks when a guy just decides to stop speaking to you when they’ve lost interest. Any woman (one would hope) can get past that, but when you have friends where your friendships were built on the commonality of what you both enjoy and whatever you had shared as friends and that ends over a man. There’s just only one thing to say about that….

middle-finger-mblue-wordspress-post

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,
MB~

 

Does Success Derive from Humility?

Seems to be the question of the moment for me after watching Robin Meade this morning report in the news on Kanye’s rant at SNL. Was this before or after the “sweet” Taylor Swift not only accepted her award but reminded everyone when you work hard, accept the rewards [awards] with gratitude and never let anyone tell you different.

Well she didn’t put it in those exact words but you get the message right?

When Ms. Swift made her speech I didn’t feel she was just speaking to Mr. West (y’all) but speaking with anyone and everyone who aspires to be something great, whatever that greatness may be in a positive light.

Yes, there are many who believe because they arrived at a certain point in their lives, they believe they can be the misfit of society, “I want what I want and I want it now”, type of attitude that generates the group of haters and the obnoxious individuals that will not only support said behavior but also continue to make themselves broke supporting said behavior.

Kinda dumb isn’t it?

Look, I’m not a Kayne hater. I don’t sit back trolling the internet saying, “what am I going to say bad about him today”. A true hater does everything they can to continue to rise the hate within themselves over someone else’s successes (I thought I should point that out because there are many delusional people out there who have limited vocabulary and understand the meaning of true hate). Scary to know in this day and age we have more of those than we do people supporting one another in their good causes.

2005_Penny_Rev_Unc_D.pngSpeaking of causes, can someone confirm Kanye actually has a go fund me page, so I can chip in my penny.

But seriously. The thing that irks me the post is when Mr. West compares himself of great artists of our time. I cannot sit here and say, I write like the great Jackie Collins or Stephen King. I write like I know how to write and express myself. However, I always remember there’s always room to learn and grow from my writing habits and styles in expressing not only for me but for whomever decides to read my material.

I’m in the process of writing a very personal love story and rewriting another book I actually finished but now must make major changes. I think when you have a gift, you find a way to channel that gift so you can share with the world (if you choose), or help other people. We’re not dummies to take those gifts and make money from them, especially if they are the choice for career. It’s what happens when you become recognized for your work and the money comes flowing in.

bedroom setHow does anyone handle that only remains to be seen with each individual person. If there’s one thing I don’t talk about much is my interview with 50 Cent. One thing he mentioned in his interview about obtaining money, buying the mansion with a bunch of rooms but you can only sleep in one bed (my apologies not verbatim).

I have been broke and broker than broke. I have set up go fund me pages to help start up a studio for KEM TopTalk in the past and guess what…. no one gave a shit even while people do enjoy the show. By the way, my show will be coming back soon. My life was at a standstill and now I’m building my own studio in my apartment. ūüôā

Sometimes there are things we don’t like doing to get where we are going. When I got clean and sober in 1991 I remember people telling me ‘it will get better’. I wanted to believe in my head, if I took a break from drinking I can regroup and drink again.

Almost 25 years later. (Hang tight June 16th I’ll have 25 years of sobriety).

So, does humility have something to do with getting somewhere in life and/or meeting your goals. Yes.

But once you’ve met¬†your successes and¬†goals, what happens next?

Success, fame, entertaining is a hard pill to swallow. Every day I ask myself what kind of person will I be once I’ve attained the status I am looking to gain? Am I afraid? Of course, who wouldn’t be? My belief system has always been, “with good intent”.

I have seen people acquire their statuses through fake story telling or fake positions they tell people they’ve had and when they didn’t. I have had people say things about my magazine and where are they now? Once you put yourself in line to say you have something better, you better be prepared to live up to your words.

“Comparing is never a winning concept. Individuality is.” (as quoted by Marabelle Blue~)

Stay humble Kanye. Stay humble.giphy

Until then.

Loves and Hugs and Take Care of You!

Marabelle Blue~

 

 

@KEMTopTalk Highlights Social Media Censorship

IMG_5241Well today is my birthday and I have to say what a great show but what a shitty birthday. Sorry but that’s just the way I feel.

Needless to say, my guest Coach Crystal was an excellent guest and definitely bought enlightenment to the show. Our discussions today with social media in the present, and the possibility of Twitter purging more then 10 million users according to The Daily Beast where the Adult Community may be shut out of promoting their business when it comes to social media.

Now while I can completely understand the “sensitive media”, in my post¬†http://kinkemagazine.com/blog/open-forum/twitter-about-to-purge-10-million-users¬†– frightening to think that my business can be affected as a result of this.

Why would something like this happen? Crystal bought up very good points on the show in regards to what to say and what not to say, how there isn’t an “undo” button like you would in MS Word and no one will see that error. Such a case as mention was Anthony Wiener who literally shared his wiener for the whole world to see on Twitter when he thought he was sharing a private message to whomever it was he was cheating on his wife with at the time.

We also talked about the unspoken demon of buying followers and how people making themselves out to be something they’re really not. The operative word of the show was definitely deceptive marketing. ¬†Check out any account you may follow on Twitter where a random person has over 100K followers as opposed to a celebrity who has the same, how many retweets are they getting next to the celebrity. If that person didn’t get one retweet within a ten minute span, trust they have bought their dead followers.

Social media, censorship, what to say and what not to say is important on the branding of your company. Buying followers reflects your brand and how you represent yourself.

I want to thank Crystal for coming on the show. Check out her show:

SMALL CHANGES ARE HUGE!!  The motto is: Take one small action every day … watch what happens!  Listen to her on her Google Hangout on Wednesdays at 8 PM ET.

I want to thank piece of shit Optimum for fucking up my connection and having to me to start my show late. (SMH)

Announcements!

Please note that the deadline for buying Vegas tickets is June 30th. You must purchase your tickets before then or you will not get in the day of. Please do not assume if you have booked your room that you will be able to come in an buy tickets. You will need your receipt as proof of purchase.

You can buy your tickets here at www.eventsbymblue.com

Catch replays of the show here http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kinkemagazine/2015/05/20/marabelleblue-birthday-show or at www.kemtoptalk.com where you have access to all the shows!

Enjoy the holiday weekend. We will be back in June with all new shows. Thanks for listening.

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Valuable Meanings

In the light of being attacked by two different women towards my “indifference” for the reality show Duck Dynasty comment posted a couple of days ago which exactly read, “Duck Dynasty, Don’t get it, Don’t care.” lead to an array¬†names calling like I was a whore and a bitch, etc.

While I’m not a whore, I can be quite of a bitch, let me tell you LOL. Most times, if I don’t like something someone will know whether in social media or in private. If that’s regarded at being a bitch, okay.

Low mentality such as these women possess clearly didn’t understand the meaning of my statement. They were under the impression that I was hating.

Sadly, our society today, within social networking continues the barrier¬†many people set up for themselves into thinking that hiding behind their computers¬†won’t¬†award them immunity¬†from what¬†they say, even if they will never meet that person their entire life. I have been at fault of saying fucked up things – surely I’m not innocent in online bashing. However, when I do bash, at least I do my fucking research.

In the case of Duck Dynasty, I have seen enough commercials for my personal taste¬†that it didn’t¬†spark any interest of watching¬†nor do I care. Do I think any less of the people that watch it…no again why should I care? That’s like caring if a celebrity is taking a picture of the moon on Instagram (who FB also owns)¬†and I’m taking time out of my moment to say, “wow that’s a great pic, what camera did you use”, and waiting for a response. Do you really think they will respond?

Realistically most do not and some do, but only a small few and mostly don’t care. Sad but true.

Let’s take the time out and learn what these words mean and when we should use them appropriately. Many thanks to¬†dictionary.com.

As you read below there are different meanings for indifference care and hate.

If you read the meanings carefully perhaps there is some ray of hope that people will choose their words more carefully before typing something in you can’t take back.

For example lets start with “indifference”. People have an indifference towards animals but it doesn’t mean they hate them or wish ill feelings towards them it just simply means they don’t think about it either way.

Society has put celebrities today in very high standards which why “hating” is discussed so much. I feel this is where it all derives coupled with social media like Facebook being the number one of “hate” statements.

Facebook has¬†met the demise of relationships and¬†friendships, has¬†sparked up cheating/infidelity either through “sexting” or meeting in real life. It has probably introduced STD’s as well and of course the unnecessary bashing¬†amongst those who people still keep in their FB page even though they can’t stand them or (and this¬†is the big one)¬†when¬†one continues reporting a page that¬†has¬†ZERO sexual¬†or OFFENSIVE content but still mark it as so when all someone is trying to do is promote their projects..

While it may have it’s perks like having people getting recognized like children looking for likes so they can¬†go to Disney World, meanwhile would you do it for your own kids?

Think about how much energy goes into hating a person that’s not even thinking about you. When you can take that same energy and A. Hate yourself or B. Love yourself and do something with your life, like live it.

What a fucking concept!

Dictionary.com meanings for your perusal, Lord knows people need to understand the meaning of these words. (Considering there is a God too LOL. Another topic, another time)

in·dif·fer·ence

/…™nňąd…™f…ôr…ôns, -ňąd…™fr…ôns/ Show Spelled [in-dif-er-uhns, -dif-ruhns] Show IPA

noun

1.

lack of interest or concern: We were shocked by their indifference toward poverty.
2.

unimportance; little or no concern: Whether or not to attend the party is a matter of indifference to him.

care

/kɛər/ Show Spelled [kair] Show IPA noun, verb, cared, car·ing.

noun

1.

a state of mind in which one is troubled; worry, anxiety, or concern: He was never free from care.
2.

a cause or object of worry, anxiety, concern, etc.: Their son has always been a great care to them.
Usage note
15. Couldn’t care less, ¬†a phrase used to express indifference, is sometimes heard as could care less, ¬†which ought to mean the opposite but is intended to be synonymous with the former phrase. Both versions are common mainly in informal speech.

hate

/heɪt/ Show Spelled [heyt] Show IPA verb, hat·ed, hat·ing, noun

verb (used with object)

1.

to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry.
2.

to be unwilling; dislike: I hate to do it.
verb (used without object)

3.

to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility.
noun

4.

intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility.
5.

the object of extreme aversion or hostility.