#TheBachelor @benhiggi E5 – Cleaning House

The ladies arrive in Mexico City where once again Olivia is convinced the date card is for her.
 
Guess what???
 
It’s not LOL. 
ben and amanda.jpgIt was actually Amanda.
 
Oh, but Olivia had much to say about Amanda. She doesn’t believe Ben is the right person for her because she has children.
 
Really Olivia? You are a fucking child.
 
The next day, Ben wakes the girls up at 4:30 in the morning so he can see all of them in their element. Surprisingly, Cray Cray Jub had her hair in head while Olivia left pieces of her weave on the dresser. It was pretty funny to hear Ben ask, “who’s weave is this?” Definitely an LOL moment.
 
Ben finally did find Amanda and as they headed off on their date, Olivia, having a conversation with Lauren H. and telling her she completely disagrees Ben should keep her, especially since she’s been away from her kids for quite some time. She also doesn’t believe it would work out, if Ben wanted children, he would have had them.
 
Really Olivia? Are you a psychologist now? Perhaps you should be on the show, “Married At First Sight” and after a whole psychological work up, I’m sure none of the advisors on that show would pick her to be with someone. That marriage wouldn’t last more than a week.
 
During Ben and Amanda’s date, she expressed concerns on her interview regarding relationships and marriage because at her such youthful age, she’s already lived that life where Ben has not. In real life, relationships like this are truly a challenge. You can’t expect for someone to come into your life and adjust to your needs and your family without adjusting to his needs.
 
While Amanda seems to be on a “long extended date”, according to Jubilee (cray cray), she’s upset and jealous that Ben is spending more and more time with the other ladies and not her. If she thinks really hard about their one on one date, it wasn’t romantic at all, and the proceeding episodes he treats her as just one of the guys. You can take the ghetto out of the hood and the ghetto will always follow LOL. It just won’t jive with Ben’s family. Let’s not pretend here guys.
 
The group date card arrives and the names are read as follows (with Olivia begging not to want to be a part of the group date because she wants to spend more time with “her man”).
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#TheBachelor @benhiggi – #BenBeccable @chrisbharrision

 

I was all convinced at some point Olivia would be one of the top two but I think between episodes 1 and 2, I changed my mind. Now watching episode three, I’m would be surprised if Olivia receives a rose at the end of this.

Four weeks in and she’s calling Ben her husband and how she’s in love with him that’s “her man”, “Ben and Zen” I’m not sure how many more shit she can come up with, that is after Chris Harrison announces Ben is no long in Los Angels but rather in Las Vegas (my future home).

As soon as they realize they are going, she’s instigating she’s going to whisper to him, she wants to see Celine. She’s funny.

Needless to say, once the ladies arrive in Vegas, the first date card also arrives in their hotel room at the beautiful Aria Hotel (was there in 2014 truly beautiful hotel), and JoJo is on this particular one and one.

When Ben picked her up as they waited for the helicopter and the girls became jealous but then laughed when the helicopter landed and the force of the propellers knocked the table and champagne down from the table BUT walked away when Ben took advantage of the moment and kissed JoJo. Now that was pretty cool.

 

During the one on one, it seemed the conversation between Ben and JoJo was truncated. What exactly the story with JoJo and her last relationship. Why did it sound like she was having an affair? I mean no offense, we’re all grown here, aren’t we and shit happens, however, it would make sense she would discuss a relationship to make a conversation flow for the cameras and before you know it, Ben is offering a rose. Okay. Great.

The night ended with one more surprise after he gave the rose to JoJo, the fireworks above the Aria hotel began to spark when the girls inside their room heard the fireworks but could not see them (Ben and JoJo’s date were at the MGM Grand – great hotel too) of course had a clearest view of the fireworks.

JoJo one point, Olivia zero.

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#TheBachelor @benhiggi

Here we are~ A New Year has just begun and ABC wastes no time in premiering the Bachelor Ben Higgins from the Kaitlyn season. Surprisingly Ben was one of the last men standing (not sure why) there seemed to be a lack of personality there and with all the good looking men who were in her season, why choose Ben?

Anyway, I’m trying something new. I weaned myself off cable and no longer have the opportunity to watch live television. With an array of streaming applications where you can watch all of your favorite shows on your own time, I have to say, it sucks just a little bit.

I’m not able to catch up on the Housewives because Bravo hasn’t gotten with the programming of steaming unless you want to watch last season’s bullshit and who wants to blog about something that happened last year? Bye Felicia.

As always the intro starts off with shades of love on the water, in a boat, on some kind of a warm island, or on some kind of ride, followed by tears of women who barely know him or claiming they put their whole life on hold, yada yada yada. Oh lest not forget the “bitch” or “evil doer” of the show, “he’s my husband, he just hasn’t figure it out yet” type…..and the one who has a panic attack and guess what she won’t need the paramedics all she will need is Ben to sweep her off her feet. #Pathetic

Ben’s background, simple, from Warsaw, Indiana, small town where everyone knows each other, probably some Christian town…blah and on top of that he can’t find anyone from his own town?

Ben has this fake and mediocre conversation with his parents who have been together for the last thirty five years. One of the main topics discussed was Ben’s fears of being unlovable, which was something he bought up in the Kaitlyn season.

Hey Ben, try being my age and still not finding someone decent to have simple conversations with, without pulling teeth or begging for affection. Believe me you will find someone to love before I do. LOL.

Now with the Bachelor family growing, it seems they invite other Bachelors to “advise” on how to deal with this type of “reality” situation.

 Who do they bring back? Farmer Chris Soules (who broke up with his self centered girlfriend Whitney Bischoff), Jason Mesnick who at the end picked Melissa the one he really didn’t want over Molly but I guess to make the producers happy he gave them what they wanted. However in the reunion he told Melissa he was not the least bit interested in her and asked for Molly back. (What a happy reunion). Sean Lowe who married Catherine, discussed how he fell in love with her towards the end of the show (which was true). My question was why Farmer Chris was there. Clearly he picked the wrong woman. I don’t think their relationship lasted more than a week. (of course I’m being sarcastic) but if you recall, he had more of a relationship with Brit while the other girls were just hanging out watching this relationship flourish before them. #Confused

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For more on Lace read my upcoming blog this week! #RESCINDTHEROSE

This girl is cRaZY!

Married At First Sight – Six Months Later @FYI #marriedatfirstsight

married-at-first-sight-season-2-weddingsI had not realized they showed a six month follow up on Season Two of Married At First Sight.

Logging onto the FYI site, I followed up with having to endure terrible host Kevin Fraizer (wasn’t he like on E! or something) asking remedial questions to the couples who agreed to get married without never seeing their spouse until the day of the wedding.

The first couple up was Davina and Sean. Now if you recall, Davina and Sean work in the health care industry and both were victims of bullying as they were growing up. (What they do here is talk to them individually and then as a couple).

When Davina came out, she was aloof. She answered Kevin’s questions with the air of a starlet who was snubbed by her costar after the movie was filmed. I understand she doesn’t want to expose any hurt feelings. You have cameras following you in a reality series, I’m sure it can be quite intimidating to have to hide feelings

She accused Sean of being an outright liar and nothing he said was true. Throughout the whole time talking, Dr. Logan Levkoff was making faces and shifting her body back and forth in annoyance. I noticed how she looked at the spiritual adviser Greg Epstein in total disgust.

Did I miss something? Why were the advisers so upset? Even Dr. Cilina made a comment about Davina taking responsibility for her actions.

Just as I was taken in by the first season, I now question the second season and so forth. Were any of these couple ready to be married or was it they just looked good for television because they were all pretty?

At some point when Kevin had asked her a question relating to their relationship their wedding picture posted in the back suddenly drops to the floor and fell again when both Sean and Davina were in the room together discussing the demise of their relationship. *creepy*

When Sean was interviewed by Kevin, he admitted he was not ready to make any kind of move to NYC, even though in his application he claimed he would be willing to relocate. Isn’t that a lie right there? #justsaying

He also mentioned how Davina would shut down and how that would make his defense mechanisms go up and shut down as well.

The main theme with both is, they were not willing to budge or make a sacrifice in their relationship. And while the “experts” felt they were a perfect match, clearly both were not ready to make a real commitment to any kind of relationship. But they sure looked good on camera didn’t they…? #justsaying

Dr. Levkoff mentioned out the six weeks they were together they spent 10 to 16 days of that together. So they failed the experiment, not the other way around. Hmm?

Moving on to Jessica and Ryan who if anyone remembers the heated arguments they had together. I think Jessica spent more time berated by Ryan while she said there and cried about how she was afraid to express herself.

I can relate to that on MANY levels. No joke. When I was with my ex, I barely said a word sometimes in our arguments. Sometimes, yes, it can be quite intimidating but let’s be real here now….was Ryan really ready to be committed in a marriage? I don’t think so. Probably the worst match to date. I’m sorry but finding common grounding like they both have the same career path, similar childhood and/or lifestyle, doesn’t make a perfect match. Does it help? Yes, I certainly don’t dispute that. However, it’s not the ends all that says all, this is the perfect relationship because our panel of experts said so.

Noticing the whole time, Dr. Levkoff had not one smile on her face. Happy that Jessica was able to find her own voice, but really, through verbal abuse? That’s not finding your own voice. What was wrong with her before… where she needed to be in an abusive relationship to find her voice? Unheard of!

I’m confused.

While Kevin asks where are they now in their relationship, Jessica admits after the six weeks, Ryan needed a break and moved back to his place where they can get some breathing space. I don’t know. This doesn’t sound like a couple who were happy and in love. Oh wait was it the part where he called her all sorts of names when she accused him of taking the $100.

She also claimed on Valetine’s day they did not spend the day together but after visiting his apartment a week or so later, she found a card from another women dated this year. True or not I think anyone would find that quite disturbing, even when confronted by Ryan, he didn’t dispute someone sent him a card, but he said he had no control over who sends him greeting cards.

Okay, I can buy that. It’s true, you can’t control who sends you shit in the mail. For all we know it could have been some jealous girl or ex girlfriend who didn’t like that Ryan got married to someone else and probably believes she can be more fulfilling than Jessica.

Whatever the case is, I was surprised at the season finale they decided to stay together. This was not a compatible couple at all!

When both together sitting on the couch, Jessica brings up the $100 thing again and whips out a crisp one hundred dollar bill and gives it to him as he storms off the set. He didn’t want to answer if he was seeing someone else (he probably was and he doesn’t have to answer), but I also think that Kevin Frazier, who’s a terrible host, didn’t help the situation by asking him the question which only made him upset. Hello Kevin, did you not watch the show. The guy explodes at the drop of a dime. There’s a way to ask certain uncomfortable questions without being an ass about it. Everyone wants the inside scoop but you can’t be a jerk about it.

Needless to say, it was clear this relationship was a fail. It was so bad, you almost forgot why the “experts” paired them up in the first place.

Last but not least, Jaclyn and Ryan (who Kevin said was the nation’s favorite couple) – I missed that memo Kevin, you think you can pass the tip off to my marketing department. SMH.

Jaclyn who was single and abstinent for more than seven years was paired up with Ryan who she was not initially attracted to.  But somehow they really seemed to make it work, at least in the beginning. Jaclyn is a very straight forward woman and when you’re single, for a long time, sometimes those walls can come up and it’s not easy to open up to someone. I wouldn’t have suggested this at all to someone who’s been single for a long time to have their life uprooted and changed for a complete stranger.

Ryan’s interview was short, he talked about the great relationship Jaclyn has with his mom but when both paired up on the couch and Kevin asked them if they were still together, the answer was no.

I was surprised. They seemed to really want to work things out but like everyone else, I think they couldn’t wait to get away from the other person and go back to their comfortable life. While they both expressed they still had feelings for one another, Dr. Levkoff suggested they go have dinner and she’ll pay for it.

Of course she would….why not? The experts are trying to save face here people.

All of these relationships were doomed from the start.

Sean had no plans moving out from Jersey to move into cluttered Manhattan. Davina wasn’t moving out from an apartment she bought in the city and in some ways who can blame her. People are going to love Manhattan or not.

Ryan and Jessica have individual issues they need to settle as individuals and not as a couple. They both like to spite each other and in my book that’s not a real or even healthy relationship. I’m sure anyone can agree on that. Who wants to be fighting all the time?

As for Ryan and Jaclyn, it may work but then again it may not. I think if it was going to work maybe a kind of courtship can help, like dating and talking and not just jumping into bed right away. Sex is good but it’s not always the solution. It’s just a temporary, feel good, for the moment action. You still have to deal with the person on a day to day basis after and will they be willing to do that?

I can say this. After watching this horrendous season, I would be surprised if Season 3 turns out to be a success.

As for the experts, they are just part of the show. Maybe the producers will find looks will not make the show but to have interesting people who are willing to make this sacrifice to get a real discussion going on.

One thing they do need to do is get rid of Kevin Frasier and put me up there as the host after the season is over. I will take it a better level. Move over Kevin.

A real talk show host is waiting to take your spot.

me with mic

Viewing my World…A Little Bit Of Me…..

IMG_0798So most times, if not all the time, I use my WordPress to write my sarcastic thoughts about the Bachelor/Bachelorette like most people will that blog about this show.

But at times, I give a little of me almost as a therapeutic way of getting in touch with my own feelings as I continue to write my autobiography, which I have to say has been extremely difficult and for specific reasons, specifically on something I shared with my neighbor earlier today.

Last night as my phone chimes off from my news apps of the lunatic who shot up people at a bible class in church in South Carolina, I opt out of sharing breaking news I normally would. I needed to disconnect.

It was no surprise that everyone started blowing up social media timelines of their opinions on this person, as stated above, lunatic.

My neighbor and I were talking earlier as Friday is usually a day that we walk our dogs longer than usual and discuss life.  I needed the time to get away and unwind due to my current living situation which for some, I’ve made no secret of my disdain when it comes to my sister and her husband.

My sister has been living with me for the last two years due to a irresponsible husband that cannot keep a roof over her head. He is married who likes to play the field (allegedly).

He is not welcomed in my home.

He is the main reason why my family has much disconnect.

Why, is the question we give this piece of shit so much power.

Why my sister loves this man is the question that no one can answer.

He is well loathed (yes well loathed) in my family.

No matter what anyone says, at the end of the day, he’s a piece of shit in the present, to the past and eternity. Period. The End.

With that being said, while my neighbor and I were talking, I shared with her a story about my father. When I was a young girl, my father went out and worked every day to keep a roof over out head and have food on the table. I never, ever, saw a day of not having to eat, having clothes on my back and shoes on my feet. My father always ensured our well being.

While things weren’t all roses growing up with my father, I know he always had our best interests, even if at times we didn’t feel that way.

Being a grown woman, I can definitely understand why my father made the choices he made for us and you know back in the day, upbringing was different than they are these days. Our technology has changed the way in how we communicate and how we interact with one another.

So back when I was little. My father owned his own business. From my understanding, there was internal theft going on with one of his family members that caused him to lose his business which led to my father having to search out for a job. While typing the cover letter, every time he made a mistake he had to throw away the paper and start all over again which only infuriated him.

Thinking back on how he typed from throwing out letter after letter, to avoid sending a letter with a typeo, made me really emotional sharing this story. It was painful to see my father having to humble himself looking for a job after losing a business. Of course as a child you cannot equate the words with the feelings but today, I have a better understanding of what I was feeling.

There’s a saying uses in 12 step meetings, “by any means necessary” – which means that no matter what is going on in our lives, we must stay clean in order to ensure our integrity of our clean time. Without having a clear mind, you cannot make clear choices.

While my father was not using drugs, the concept is the same.

Not once did we feel a stress that our home was threaten. I never saw a housing court growing up.

Looking at my sister’s life and her poor choice of a husband, I’ve sarcastically asked, “we did grow up in the same household?”

I know she’s not the only one who’s in a place where she sees the good in someone who’s just a low down dirty piece of shit that contributes nothing to his wife and his children. He’s has not made one single effort to take responsibility to say, “this is my family and I will find us a place to live so we can be together as one unit.” He doesn’t care. He only cares about himself. Someone who clearly didn’t look up the meaning of marriage.

The word marriage is another form of emancipation. “Who gives this girl away….” (hint hint)

My father never gave away my sister for marriage. She did it in secret. Running to the court house to do a quick wedding and guess what, we were all supposed to be happy.

I have learned when you do things in secret, there’s a guilty part of you that knows it’s wrong. Why get any advice from friends and family that will tell you the truth when you can listen to a man who will lie to you and tell you everything you want to hear and give you a fantasy that will never come true.

Back in the nineties they called it champagne taste with beer pockets.

After more than twenty years, and about seven roofs over their heads and now mine, where does this all go? After two years of her living rent free (oh she pays the cable bill) when does it all end where I get my life back and my living situation back to normalcy?

I would have never thought my sister would do the same thing to me what she has done to every other homeowner where she’s rented an apartment and they’re good with paying their rent for about three months, when all of the sudden, they just decide, “well if we’re late, so what or we don’t feel like paying rent because we don’t like you…”

Responsibility is a big word. Sometimes it’s too of a big word for some people like my sister’s husband who enjoys having his cake and eating it too. Not once has her children with him said anything to me like, “thank you for keeping a roof over our head.” His older son has already taken the lead like his father. The apple does not fall too far from this tree.

I mean we did live in the same household….right?

For me, my father signified a pillar of strength and consistency. I have always told my friends when advising them, consistency will tell you a lot about another person. In this case, my sister’s husband has been completely consistent about being an irresponsible father and husband for the last twenty years.

Yes, consistency can tell you a lot about a person.

BTW the image is a tee shirt I bought when I was at Cannon Beach in Oregon.

Oh! On a side note, I went to my ex’s place to write (yes the one I broke up with in 2000 and thus created a magazine called Kink~E Magazine after discovering my voice) 😉 – He has a new girlfriend and you know that you’ve grown up when you can see two people being affectionate with each other and be happy for a person that you were not happy with. Sometimes it takes a while for people to figure that out. It’s called co-dependency (that’s a whole other topic for a whole other blog).

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

Married At First Sight – Cohabitation and Happy New Year

Ryan D. and Jaclyn

jaclyn-ryan-ranellone-married-at-first-sight-season-2

After Ryan and Jaclyn were able to establish a living situation, they consummated their relationship. However, this relationship didn’t start off as a romantic one.

When those doors opened up it was similar reaction to Jamie when she married Doug. Not a very happy one. And even though Jaclyn said, “I do”, inside she was screaming, “I don’t”. Makes me wonder why women continue to just say yes to something where they really want to say no.

Anyway, getting back to this couple, because they are reality television, I’m sure they had to sign some kind of disclosure saying they would stick with this for the next six weeks and even though a honeymoon can make everything exciting, reality is what sets in when the vacation is over and real life steps in.

For this couple things seems to be getting off on a good foot, however, because of Jaclyn’s very possessive and strong attitude, it seems that she tries to castrate Ryan by playing the man role too, instead of just letting Ryan be the man in the relationship.

Behavior like this for me is when someone is really not that into you and will play the role of, “let’s be buddies and hang out and get to know each other.” I think they had a show like this on Bravo who followed couples that were best of friends but one of them was secretly into the other….I don’t know whatever happened to that show. Bravo goes through shows, like ATL Housewives go through hair weaves.

I’ve been known to go out on dates with guys that I was not interested in and would take over the conversation to ensure that this will not go any further and they will remain in the friend zone. Since I don’t like to play games, rest assured, it ended that night when the date was over.

Ryan lived with his family and extremely close to them. Due to the loss of his sister and then his brother in law, he was raising his niece, basically stepping in as the parents this little girl lost. Having to make a move and be away from his family, Ryan was definitely going through withdrawal but seemed ready to make the compromise and sacrifice to co-habitat with his new wife.

For Jaclyn, who seemed to struggle with the new man in her life, started to see a different side of Ryan once they began to get their house in order.

While I agree with Dr. Joseph, there is a side of yourself you have to let go in order to allow someone in your life, you also have to do it with common sense. Just because a doctor told you that this is your ideal mate it doesn’t mean that’s necessarily true.

I think what is lacking in this relationship like the rest of the cast is the courting which seemed to take place with Cortney, Jason, Doug and Jamie. They all were very committed to making their relationships work which included romance.

I’m not really seeing that with this couple…for now at least. Jaclyn is a very outspoken woman and you know sometimes, guys don’t like that. While they like women who exude strength they certainly don’t like to look like an idiot.

New Year’s day, visiting her family, she made it a point to share that under no circumstances she wants to have a child after 35. And not saying this in private but saying this in front of her family.

I think in relationships, there are certain conversations you should have in private and not in front of family members. This was definitely not topic of discussion saved for family and friends.

Davina and Sean

davina-sean-married-at-first-sight-season-2

The team of experts paired Davina and Sean on the main commonality that they were both bullied while growing up. Davina lives and owns an apartment in New York, which Sean owns a house in New Jersey. Both have agreed that for now living separate during certain days of the week while Sean goes to work, will just have to work for the time being. Even though Davina doesn’t like this idea, this is something that she’s temporarily dealing with only to appease Sean.

Here’s another couple with a situation where one loves living in New York while the other isn’t really having it. I think once someone lives in New Jersey and becomes accustomed to living a certain lifestyle, who really wants to live in the hustle of New York. If the man has to drive into work, who wants to drive back and spend an enormous amount of money for parking? Not ideal for New York City living.

Davina isn’t willing to make a compromise.

Sean made a private call from Dr. Joseph regarding their relationship how the chemistry was initially strong to now a friendship level of relationship.

While Dr. Joseph informs Sean to not be hard on himself on his feelings and anxiety, he should find understanding on himself and be accepting of what he’s feeling and find a solution through it.

I think Dr. Joseph is right, BUT, let’s be real here….I mean, this is reality television isn’t it?

Davina comes from a culture where most relationships are arranged, therefore there isn’t really a pursuit or courting. However, Davina who is Americanized and has exposure to American culture understands what is means to be courted or romanced. At least that is what we are taught. Just tune in to, “Say Yes to the Dress”, that’s all you hear and quite honestly that’s what women want. So what happens when you meet someone and marry them at first sight? Where is the romance? Sounds like a repeat of Ryan R. and Jaclyn.

Ryan D. and Jessica

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Now this couple, I questioned on every episode. They did have sex the first night and I’m sure they plenty of sex during the honeymoon, but after the honeymoon, everything changed and things got pretty serious and pretty nasty in a matter of three short weeks.

Jessica is not a girl who communicates her feelings at all. She says she cooks but she doesn’t cook, she says she wants closet space but she doesn’t express that, she says the kitchen will always be clean but gets a nasty response in return. He gets angry because she irons on the bed, she’s tired of sushi, she’s mad because he took their wedding money for himself, oh and let’s forget how he thinks pierces are nasty or tacky and she took out her Monroe piercing to “make a change” but yet he has a shit load of tattoos. What the fuck?

Ryan is very ghetto when he talks to her and Jessica seems to get shut out when she does. They continue to have big arguments and even after celebrating New Years Eve together as a couple, I didn’t see a loving couple at all.

It’s almost as if when everything is good, it’s really good, but just for the time being and when everything is bad, it’s really bad.

So far the last few episodes ending with Happy New Year so far isn’t happy for all of the couples.

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Married at First Site Season Two – New Couples New Problems

married-at-first-sight-season-2-weddingsThe season starts with three new couples who are paired once again by the experts, Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Joe Cilona, Dr. Logan Levkoff, and spiritualist Greg Epstein.

The couples are Sean and Davina, Ryan R and Jaclyn and Ryan D and Jessica

How the experts paired these couples it seemed were based on past experiences.

For Sean and Davina, both experienced bullying in their childhood lives. Davina who is Indian and beautiful, I must add, was bullied as a child for being different. Her father had abandoned their family when she was growing up so she lacked that experience of having a man figure in her life, however, it seems it doesn’t affect who she is as a woman. Davina reminds me of me in some ways. Yes as a child I was bullied but I did have a present father growing up who never abandoned our family. She, like me, also prefers Caucasian men. Not sure if it’s a thing where she has the same reasons as to why she doesn’t like Indian men as the way I’m not attracted to Latin men.

Both she and Sean worked in the medical field, Davina in pharmaceuticals and Sean in trauma.

Ryan R and Jaclyn both said their “I do’s”, however Jaclyn who hasn’t had sex in more than two years has big reservations on Ryan R who’s really not attractive but not overly ugly. I can understand when she said that there’s something about his face that didn’t sit right with her. If you’re blind you would see it too. Definitely something going on with the front teeth, veneers of some sort so I get it. Sure I think it’s important to date someone with nice teeth, however it’s not a total deal breaker for me. If the man is good, makes money and can take care of you, she should give him a chance. I noticed though she does things that I normally would do when I’m not attracted to someone when I would go on a blind date and be a bit rambunctious – for example the way she threw his drink and told him he needs to drink this or in the next episode on their honey moon when she ordered the steaks for them instead of letting him order his own meal.

Ryan D and Jessica were both paired due to the same commonalities. They are both independent and have been single for a long time and family is very important. The stability of life is what’s important to the both of them.

The only couples that are immediately attracted to each other right now are Ryan D. and Jessica, Sean and Davina.  For Ryan R. and Jaclyn it seems that Ryan R. right now is not seeing that Jaclyn is really not that into him.

After the wedding, it was picture time and while all the couples seem happy in their pictures, it looks like Jaclyn’s brave face it starting to fail her as she’s becoming impatient and irritable. What I find strange is what Dr. Pepper Schwartz says physical match is not that important but trust in the experiment because they share essential values.

Really?

Why do people connect in the first place? Why is it that the other couples are getting along well? They are having that physical attraction. I believe, without that, tell me where the relationship is going. Granted he does not have to look like what women think Brad Pitt is, for me it’s Kyle Secor and Peter Coyote in his younger days, if there isn’t a physical attraction how can one move past that and fall in love with the other important qualities if you can’t see them on top of you.

For me I just can’t get past that. I have met the nicest of guys but if I was not psychically attracted to them, the men remained as friends and not anything more.

This season seems to also focus more on the family, along with their thoughts and feelings on the whole scenario on a blind arranged marriage.

While the couples are off after their husband/wife announcements and celebrating their nuptials at the reception, it’s now the time for the couples to be on their own in the hotel room.

Jaclyn is positive she will not be having sex with her husband Ryan, who’s mom mentioned earlier that she knows Jaclyn loves him as much as he loves her….? Um what?

Davina and Sean look like they are hitting it off very well, and Ryan D. and Jessica were sure not letting religion interfere with their relationship while Jaclyn struggles playing, “as if”, and wanting the experience to end.

Relationships take sacrifice, commitment, compromises and hard work. I can’t see someone making sacrifices for someone they barely know. Most people will chalk it up and say, “no love lost”, but will they ever learn anything from that experience by just taking the shortcut.

This is what people look for day in and day out. I have one person on my Facebook page that does nothing all day but bash women and talk about how he will only use them for sex. That’s the underlying notion that he really wants someone sincere and instead of putting himself out there and being honest, he’d rather sound like a scumbag.

Now while I can relate with is brutal honesty, the fact remains that what you put out there is what you will get.

For these couples, it’s just the beginning. And while some of them may be feeling the physical attraction, the question is will this outlive the reality of what it takes for a relationship to work and the one couple feeling the opposite, will they be the ones that will make a sacrifice to commit?

All blogs on current reality shows found on www.realonreality.com

Newlyweds: The First Year – Where are they Now?

As you know, I did a video blog of the Newlyweds gang and predicted that Blair and Jeff would last and the other couples were questionable. Well guess what…I was wrong.

Watch my video here:

tina and tarzTina and Tarz – Married 2 years and 8 Months

Tina and Tarz, now married for more than two years are still living under the capacity of Tarz spending most of his time on Pandoodle and Tina still having her tantrums.

Last season ended with Tarz and Tina finding out they were having a baby after several miscarriages, Tina was finally able to have a baby and it was not a girl. She behaved like she was happy but one never knows with the way she behaves. Putting her career on hold, she now helps out Tarz with Pandoodle but she still has many temper tantrums, more than her own child. Surprisingly, as nasty as she is, they are still hanging touch, proving that Tarz but have some kind of love for this women. He even choked up when he was describing how they had to wheel her away for a cesarean section when she gave birth to their son.

Sadly, her father who didn’t approve the relationship at the last season, even though danced his ass off at their wedding has only worsen over time. Tarz expressed later in the episode that his dealings with Tarz has mentioned that the relationship with her father has gotten worse and he responds to him differently. Tina’s father is more disrespectful now than he was a year ago. It got so bad that Tina had an outburst at an ice cream shop of course leaving everyone stunned that was watching the debacle as she threw fruit and sprinkles around the table.

As for their child, Tarzie, Tina has recruited her child to the entertainment industry by signing him up for a modeling agency. When her entourage comes in thinking they are going to do make up for her, she actually has them there for the baby. Suggestions she made, “can we dye his hair with blonde highlights”, huh? This is a two year old child.

Needless to say, she convinces the talent scouts at the audition, after her baby walks into the door glass and busts out crying that she gets a call from them they will be using her baby for photo shoots.

Tina and Tarz ended this episode with another pregnancy test, testing positive. Who knows maybe this time she will have a girl and then she forget her first child and concentrate on the girl.

john and kathrynJohn and Kathryn – Married 2 years and 8 months

John and Kathryn who’ve been married two years and eight months, if you recall, Katherine uprooted her life from the city to the suburbs converting her whole life, giving up her career but then going into business with her husband who now own a tanning salon. However, one of the biggest hurdles still even with their child Dean, the biggest thing that John has not let go with Kathryn, is trusting her with money. He’s still in control of the finances; however he has eased on the lists he was obsessed with originally when the show air by now using Siri which Kathryn described as his “new girlfriend of the 21st century. One of things all the men will say is that they did make some asshole comments and one of the things he has stressed that if you’re going to say anything on television, watch what you say.

John who loves being a dad, for some reason does not like being alone with his son, almost as if he doesn’t know what to do with him. I’m sure he’s happy but he doesn’t seem like daddy material. Perhaps when his son is a teenager it will be a different story but how sad to miss out the growing up process.

All in all I think that John and Kathryn are the typical family, the 2.5 family with the white picket fence. They are happy; I think John respects Kathryn more now than he did when they were initially together. I also recall John’s sister being the nosy busy body, she wasn’t much of a focal point in this, “where are they now”. One of the most disturbing things in a healthy relationship with a couple is when a family member feels the need to put their nose in where it doesn’t belong.

I’m glad to see that John and Kathryn found a common ground with each other. While they have their own individual personalities they have such respect for each other and I like that John allows Kathryn to be Kathryn because in the beginning it was pretty scary to see the control on John’s part.

kim and alaskaKim and Alaska – Married 2 Years and 8 Months

Kim and Alaska who I thought would not last for a variety of reasons. One, Kim and her constant badger of they must shower together. I cannot understand that concept. Why? Why?

Okay, maybe I’m just too much of a person who enjoys private shower time, for me, shower time, should be the foreplay of foreplay. Not that you wake up in the morning and jump in the shower with your mate. Okay, maybe once in a while but certainly not mandatory.

As for Kim and Alaska, they sure have put great effort into their relationship. Alaska left his job at a music company and started his own company. Kim who was set on living in New York, ended up moving to L.A. with Alaska. Their honeymoon seemed to have made the difference in where their relationship stood and built the foundation to where they are two years later. Alaska also mention the nasty comments he received in the first season of the show.

I believe that Kim’s idea of what a relationship should be is the ideal couple who’s fifty, fifty and support each other in their careers just as equally. I think the medicinal pot that Alaska’s been smoking for his back has also helped the relationship (LOL). I am happy to see them together as they lived up their status as a power couple and I like that.

jeff and blairJeff and Blair – Married 2 Years and 8 Months but not living together

Jeff and Blair were discussing their relationship and Blair said he was embarrassed that they were the couple with the most problems, which I don’t believe that to be true. I think all the couples had their own issues and every couple is different. Blair felt he never got enough sex from Jeff which I stated in my video blog and Jeff was the one with the absent family and never let his success get in the way of that. Not only is Jeff successful, but in his relationship with Blair, sex and money were the biggest issues because Blair didn’t have a full understanding of being responsible. Sometimes a sixteen year gap can make or break a relationship only because of the maturity level.

Look, some people can say someone at 21 can be mature, but something will happen where they will be absolutely clueless and not relate to the experience at all, especially if they are in a relationship with a person older than they are.  As much as these two guys had so much love for each other, it was sad to see that their relationship had come to end.

On an even more positive level, Jeff and Blair displaying their relationship to the world has benefited many who have came out and being true to themselves. Which I love to hear. Being gay has such a terrible stigma and for me, personally, I don’t get what the big deal is about. Who is to say who we should love? Since when does love have restrictions and judgments?

During their separation, Blair has admitted that he has changed his life a great deal by running and now has gotten into spiritually and praying a lot more. It makes you wonder during a break up, do people do things because they are trying to prove something to the other person or are they really doing it for themselves?

And while Blair came back to Jeff’s life and they met at Jeff’s house to reunite and try once again to live in harmony, things looked promising. Blair started his own business and Jeff suggested that Blair should use the garage as his new office space. One of Jeff’s fears was of them arguing. Last season Blair felt he was not getting enough attention and enough sex. Being that the age difference was vast, I can understand why Jeff was more of a calmer nature than Blair.

Asked when they separated if they went outside of their relationships, Jeff said he did not see anyone else or date anyone else, while Blair chose not to answer the question, giving us the assumption that he did see other men.

Sadly, after much effort, Jeff and Blair found themselves back in the same place they were in before, arguing and not finding the common ground of communication. Their domestic partnership ended when they met at a restaurant to sign the final paper work. Seeing the end of this relationship was quite painful. Jeff and Blair seem to love each other very much but cohabiting together was the final straw that put an end to what could have possibly been a great relationship.

When I used to make 12 step meetings, I remember a guy sharing about the secret of relationships, they are hard. It takes a great commitment to compromise and respect the person that you love. They are not to be taken for granted. Even though two people can look great together, the fact is, if they can’t find a common ground of respect for one another then it’s time to move on.

Final words of advice from the couples were:

Jeff: Be kind to one another, caring and most importantly be patient

Blair: Pick your battles and in certain cases keep your mouth shut.

Kathryn: Communicate and don’t keep everything bottled up inside.

Kim: Take your time and slow down, don’t complain about the things that aren’t because you will miss the process of getting there

For the Newlyweds Season 2 – Advice for TV

Tarz:  Be sure you were clean clothes because you’re on camera all the time

John: Definitely have fun with it and think before you speak!

Tina: (of course being Tina) Who gives a fuck what anyone thinks of you. If you’re mother Theresa people will still complain.

Alaska: Don’t read the tweets, listen to your wife and don’t sound like an asshole on television because you will be an asshole for the rest of your life.

I’m happy to see that the couples are doing well for each other.

19 Kids and Counting – Out loud Thoughts of the Duggars

duggarsI usually wake up early in the morning about 7 am. During this time I feed my dogs and cats, mop up the floor and clean up any messes that happened in the middle of the night. Then I crawl back in the bed and tune to TLC where they show repeats of 19 Kids and Counting.

How on earth did I become addicted to this show? It’s not a major addiction but enough to peak my curiosity of the strangeness in this family.

I say strangeness without judgment, just the mere fact that this was not the way I lived my life so to me it’s strange.

Modesty. Something I never really was. I have big boobs and you know sometimes, they make an appearance. And believe me, I’m not one of those women that get mad when I man loses eye contact with what’s around him and leads to my boobs. No offense there. Also I own an adult magazine, which would go against the grain of what this family stands for. I never went on a date that was chaperoned, quite honestly, even though my parents didn’t like me growing up, they certainly were not there for any dates I had considering that once I turned 18, I was able to do almost whatever I wanted. And if you read through the lines, I didn’t get to anything until I was 18.

So now that you know a little bit about me, here’s why I think 19 Kids is so bizarre. This woman gives birth to 19 kids (obviously). They raise their children in the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ (still trying to figure out how a man became a lord but more on that in another post), they don’t believe in birth control, clearly and one of the daughters has been married off and pregnant already. I guess you start out young if you want to have a good round number of kids that can be a baseball team.

As I sit and watch some of the episodes I’m astonished at the rules that are place in these courtships,. Even courting alone, the man must ask the father, Jim Bob, permission to court his daughter and then moving forward must ask for her hand in marriage which happens rather quickly.

So during the courtship, the couple cannot hold hands, they can only do side hugs, a full on face to face hug is not allowed. And OH, no kissing, not until the wedding day. Romantic? No. Not in my opinion.

One of the daughter, Jill, who married Derrick, met him while he was living in Napal. Jill and her father took a trip there to meet him and Derrick asked her father for permission to court her. Jim Bob, had to make a quick decision as his wife was not there to consult with and gave Derrick his blessing. Whoopie!

Moving on. The day Jill and the whole entire family were waiting for Derrick at the airport, greeted Derrick with a full on hug. Uh oh.

The feedback was priceless. “Well other than they haven’t seen each other in two months, they just can’t let it happen again and “no hugging allowed, only side hugging”.

Makes me wonder if she got scolded for that, maybe reading a passage from the bible, that part about how you should only hug your fellow man from the side because if your body touches it just make spark up some horniness. Who knows.

As it was advertised in the ratchet publications, like US Weekly and Star Magazine, Jill’s wedding was a big deal. Then four weeks after this girl is married off, here she is pregnant. Well duh. No birth control that’s what usually happens.

I don’t know. I find the whole thing completely strange. But in the same note, I don’t. I completely understand. One of the things Michelle mentions (she’s the mother) that they home school their children.  With the way the world is today, if I had children, I would home school them too. Not because of anything else other than I want my child to be safe. I’m old school. If my child was hurt by another child, I would probably get my belt and beat the mother.

Minus the outrages church and bible beliefs, one of the things I do admire about this family is the love they have for one another. And watching this show makes me realize that I never had that “tightness” with my own family. I grew up with an angry and controlling father. I commend my father for standing up and being a man and fulfilling his responsibilities as a father because we all know that not many men do that. A perfect example is my sister’s husband, he’s good for sticking his dick to make himself feel good but not deal with the after effect that now you have children that rely on your guidance and presence.

This would beg the question, would this have made me a different person. Would I be a recovering addict/alcoholic? Would I own an adult publication, would I be the writer I am today? I don’t know. I can’t go back and change my family so we can have that closeness that the Duggers have and that’s really the only thing that I like about this family.

Otherwise the whole courtship thing, the chaperone, and not kissing before marriage is not natural. For the Duggars their life is based on what they believe the Lord wants for them. Hence the reason why they are home schooled so they aren’t influenced by outside entities that might deter them from shying away from the Lord. And why the girls are married off so young so they can procreate and have as many kids as they can so they can keep building on their community. I mean after all they will need more of them to marry each other off to make more.

Everyone is different and I get that but I’m also a romantic at heart. I believe that relationships should have the natural setting without feeling as though if you do things that are not allowed according to the “Lord” you will be punished. For me this is not natural. If there is a God, who loves unconditionally then there is no punishment for holding hands or hugging someone that you love.

Recently, Jessa sparked up some controversy with her facebook posts on God’s judgment. Yeah again this brings up that contradiction about how God loves unconditionally but if you engage in sex or porn or curse boy you will definitely feel the wrath of God.  Huh?

There was something that I saw not too long ago, probably on Facebook that said Jesus promoted Love not religion.

Religion is man-made. It’s the one thing that divides society. It’s the one thing that people get killed for and it’s the one thing people will die for.

We are people who enjoy love and being in love and that should never be wrong, no matter what you believe in.

With that being said, carry on Duggars!

The Bachelor Juan Pablo Season 18

Now that the Bachelor is a sensationalized dating show with more babbling women crying to find love, the man that Desiree kept on (when we all know she really wasn’t interested in him) has been crowned the new bachelor and believe me when I tell you everyone is eating this up.

The season kicks off with the introduction to JP and the relationship he has with his daughter, because of course, we just never see enough dad’s with their kids, we see the total opposite of dad’s trying to get away from their kids.

Now that the Bachelor is a sensationalized dating show with more babbling women crying to find love, the man that Desiree kept on (when we all know she really wasn’t interested in him) has been crowned the new bachelor and believe me when I tell you everyone is eating this up.

For more on this blog refer to http://kinkemagazine.com/blog/the-bachelor-juan-pablo/the-bachelor-juan-pablo-episode-1

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