Leaving New York…

byebyeplateAbout a month ago I tried putting this post up and it wouldn’t let me save into draft form and it wouldn’t let me post either which was weird.

Despite the technical difficulties, I wanted to share my feelings from the past until now in regards to leaving NYC.

About a month ago, I received an offer I just could not refuse. Through my current employer (yes I do have a day job), an opening came up I couldn’t bypass and after several weeks of interviewing I was offered the position.

I never really shared with anyone about the job or what my plans were. It was probably my best kept secret. Sure I shared with a few close friends, but nothing I needed to share on social media, public or personal.

Once the job was offered, it took me forever to pack. Not realizing how much shit I had, I never really organized myself in this move. Being depressed every now and then didn’t help and of course my parents were too busy to help me pack. I’m not sure what was going on with me. It was a distressed feeling as through the packing was draining me.

I saved everything for the last minute. It was just awful. As excited I was to move, I was still suffering with some form of depression. Even in the state of mind I was finally leaving NYC, I couldn’t shake the dead weight of my mind.

Needless to say, once I did make an announcement I was moving, everyone was sending me messages, asking where was I moving to. Some people didn’t realize they were on a need to know basis, on top of that was any one of these people for me when other things were going on in my life where I could have used a friend? Now, relocating, suddenly people want to be your friend.

No thank you.

Of course a select few were chosen to know, people who I regard as friends.

Right down to the last week, I got cheap to buy more boxes to move the rest of my things into storage since there was only so much money to go around it was either move me or move my things. (Hence the go fund me page www.gofundme.com/mbluemove).

While my stuff is hauled up in storage due to arrive the later part of January, I have to say relocating was the best choice I ever made for my life.

I never thought I would feel a sense of peace. I had been extremely unhappy in NYC since 2009, all I ever wanted to do was leave. When this opportunity came, what better way to go.

It was emotionally taxing to leave. A city I loved for so long felt as though every turn I made to try something new and better myself, wasn’t happening in an overpriced residence. I didn’t like my neighbors anymore, the noise became unbearable. The constant shoving and being squashed by people on the 1 line with those tiny chairs no one fit unless you were like 5 years old, just wasn’t cutting it for me.

My friend has asked me the last two weeks if I miss the Bronx….well.

I don’t.

NYC served its purpose. Something similar my ex said in 2001 when I thought we were working towards reconciliation. Some things serve a purpose and once that purpose is fulfilled, it’s time to move on.

For those of you wondering (and if you’ve seen my instagram posts you already know), I live in Arizona now. Close to Vegas and California. I was scared it would become a “Squidville” episode (for those who watch Spongebob), but thankfully it hasn’t.

I have found a bit of peace in the sea of my own chaos…the ones that live in my head. 😉

And finally you know that crazy question people ask….did you take all your animals? I ask., did you take all your children when you moved?

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

 

As the 50 Shades Nightmare Draws Upon Us….

The other night I rented Secretary. I had to. It was a way to remind myself set upon film that BDSM is a mindset, a mind fuck, if you will. James Spader played an excellent Dom while Maggie Gyllenhaal played the submissive women who found her BDSM side through Edward E. Grey. Grey….what a coincidence?

E.J. James, the supposed author who wrote this badly written book, had housewives losing their minds in to believing what what Fetish life is. I never read the book but I have read the comments about the book and I trust the comments. There’s no way that a “million” different people are wrong when they say this book is terrible. But yet somehow this poorly written book has been converted to a movie.

While I cannot judge the book for myself, I can only speak from my personal experience on both sides and the experience of those I interview. Recently. I added a section in my magazine called Domination Nation. The section features exclusively people in the BDSM industry where women work as professional Dominatrixes.

These women travel worldwide meeting subs around the world that will not only worship them but the subs get to live the lifestyle of having their personal desires met, whatever that may be.

I’ll give you a bit of an insight. There are those who have as fetish of being humiliated. Humiliation tactics may include, dressing up as a maid or being naked. Being dressed as a woman and collard while the mistress walks them around dressed like this.  Other humiliation tactics can be brutal, from spankings to pain and torture techniques that can include nipple clamps, chastity devices, electronic. butt plugs, caning, whippings and spankings, toilet training, eating cigarette ashes…possibly more. I’m sure. Please read what I just wrote. Can anyone honestly say they can partake in this type of scenario and be okay with it?

Probably not.

What did I start off by saying. BDSM is a mind set. a mind fuck.

Do you think that if they showed the true BDSM lifestyle on 50 Shades would it get an R rating. Absolutely not. People would be watching rated X at it’s best!

Is there such thing as light BDSM…sure, I guess. Blind folds, handcuffs, swing sets but if that’s all you’ve done you can’t honestly say you’ve experience BDSM in it’s purest and tortuous forms.

Recently the star of 50 Shades said he visited a Dungeon to gain inspiration for his role and instead ended up bashing those in the lifestyle by exclaiming he had to run and get in the shower before he touched his wife and child.

Actions such as these tells me that a person like this actor does not have an inkling of respect for this lifestyle. If that’s the mindset, then he can maintain his vanilla lifestyle and go fuck himself.

That tells me that you think BDSM is dirty and that the people that choose this lifestyle are dirty too.

Obviously there is no perfection in BDSM. One of the recurring themes you see at the request of any authentic Domina’s website one of the requirement is hygiene. No one wants to work with a smelly or dirty person. People that are in BDSM are not filthy people who live in filthy and have dirty dungeons filled with residue of cum.

Let’s get a fucking clue. BDSM is a lifestyle where the top requirements should be adhered to that any professional Domina will know to ask or even have up posted on their site.

Know CPR
Does the sub has any health issues that should be disclosed (i.e. heart problems)
A Safe Word
What are the limits if any
Does the Domina herself have any limitations – yes believe it or not she can say no
What kind of training has the Domina received?
Is anyone allergic to latex?

Just as it is important for the Domina to pose questions it’s just as important to the sub that they take their scenes in safety.

I had an interesting conversation with a Professional Dominatrix last night who comes from a superior lineage of those who live the BDSM lifestyle and extremely well trained. We both agree, going into your local sex shop, buying a latex dress and a whip does not make you a Dominatrix in any way shape or form.

I think the internet has bought many of those that noticed they can score quick money buy building a site, creating an Amazon wish list and make money without doing much of anything. While I don’t knock on how anyone makes their money, the fact remains. BDSM is a mind set and should be respected to it’s highest degree. In the same note, we also have many male subs who would rather play games and not tribute to a Dominatrix because they feel they can get over and get whatever it is they think they can get for free.  Male subs who are true to the lifestyle do not play games.

Mistress Christianna who resides in Florida has been in the BDSM life since the 70’s. Now in her sixties, she still practices the lifestyle.  You can only imagine how she felt when she found her list of rules in E.L. James’ book. Also note Christian Grey…..

I’ve also been told that a man wrote this book. Would not surprise me within the least. I mean Christian Grey…..

Sounds like this man who wrote this book did very little research on what BDSM is and wrote a fantasy of his desires without probably proofreading and then asked his friend to be the face of this book so that housewives could feel good about their mundane lives.

I know this sounds cruel. I’m sure housewives reading this are saying. what is that bitch talking about, my life isn’t mundane.

Okay so if it’s not, and you really want to explore true BDSM don’t support this stupid movie.

Until then,

MB~

OH yeah….for real BDSM news www.kinkemagazine.com – You’re welcome 😉

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