Let’s Make it Clear

primitive  social style

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on my WordPress blog so here we go. I think it’s about time for a post like this, long overdue.

So, for the last few months, I’ve been trolling and watching the social medialites blab on their soliloquies, wondering if anyone is really listening or reading for that matter.

A few months ago, one of the automated paper.li tweets mentioned a person (who shall remain nameless), who became upset at the fact they were mentioned.

What the fuck, I thought to myself. Why is this person getting a hair up their ass over being mentioned by paper.li – when the paper is actually promoting their stupid shit.

I’m not one to argue with people on Twitter. The back and forth banter just doesn’t look good and at the end of the day, I’m running a business. I’m not here to throw mud at idiots (maybe once in a while LOL).

So I ended up blocking this person. Funny this person has noted in their profile they’re a coach or expert on some sort of fetish thing.

Right….and I’m an expert on building the Brooklyn Bridge.

Yet again, a similar incident happened with another person, who shall remain nameless. Bear in mind, some of these people are not even worth putting on blast and I’ll get to that “why” in a minute.

I see a response from the paper.li tweet, “Please take me off this or I will have you all blocked”, something to that effect. This time I didn’t hold back.  My response was pretty clear about this automated tweet and if you don’t like it we’ll just block you.  #stuckup

I mean really? What the fuck is wrong with people? Yet here’s another one who owns something similar to Kink~E Magazine #WeOpenTheDoor – all of these sites mind you are the same as my magazine.

Now I’m not saying Kink~E Magazine was the first fetish magazine ever. Back in the day, newspapers and personals were used in order to connect with kink communities. The only logical way back then was connecting via newspapers and personals through letter writing and perhaps phone contact.

When I began establishing my presence online was in mid 2000, when AOL gave you your own webpage as part of your subscription and I began keeping an online diary of my blind dates.  My friends thought I was insane to put my life out there, but at the time, and still now, I didn’t care. It was a great way for me to share exactly what was going on in my life, what I felt about blind dating and the blind dating itself. This was sort of a release for me. Life wasn’t good for me back then. I made a terrible choice that ended up saving my life. I did’t see it then but I see it now. Anyway as part of my restoration of self progress I was keeping these online dairies and it helped me put a lot of things into perspective with my life, myself and my needs of what I wanted in a relationship.

Even when guys got wind of my blogging, I realized they were only dating me so I can blog about them, even when they knew there was a bigger possibility of me writing not so good things about them. Maybe they were learning themselves how to be better on the next date. Who knows?

I did discover this. Because of my blogging, I was able to connect with women who related to the horrors of blind dating and it gave me an idea on how to expand on that and incorporating fetish lifestyle, one I personally live and enjoy. It was important for me to connect some type of alternative lifestyle because it wasn’t good for women to secretly keep ideas of fetish to themselves or feel shame to express something they really liked and wanted to explore. So there’s your bit of history of Kink~E Magazine.

The Internet was just booming by then and other than your local newspapers, how many fetish magazine sites did you find in 2002 as oppose to now? Today we are saturated with endless means of fetish advice, domination along with the fakers looking to rake in fast cash without having to honor what they say they are offering.

I’m not going to put down my magazine by any means.  I really believe that having this opportunity, I opened the door along with others who are still around today who believe in promoting the alternative lifestyle correctly.

I’m sure anyone that looks at the magazine thinks to themselves, “Oh I can do this better”.  I’m sure you can.

On the other hand, thanks to my business management courses and communication courses (yes unlike most I’m actually getting a real degree), I continue to transition the magazine and once again it will be seeing another transition. So while people are taking a back seat stealing ideas, they have yet to see what my pretty little head is putting together.

One thing I’ve learned about all of these social medialites and their sites, everyone is a “shark” waiting for their hater to disclose what they are doing so they can copy it. Don’t think I even noticed one site who conveniently copied the same last four digits of my business phone number. (Yeah I caught that).

Now back to my “why” point about not putting people on blast. First and foremost they aren’t worth it. Second and most importantly, why bother give these assholes any type of notoriety?

If you’re paying attention to your social media feed, really read what people are writing. If you’re following someone who’s apparently some coach of sorts, why is it they become easily offended over a tweet that’s actually promoting them? Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of someone who claims they are here to enhance your self esteem but catch an attitude at the mere fact they are being mentioned in a positive way? Also, think about this, why aren’t people looking up what paper.li is?

It’s super easy. All you have to do is go on google and type in paper.li…wow how simple is that?

Here’s another thing about me. I’m not one to pitch a fucking fit if someone tags me on something. Actually, I’m grateful that other people in supporting communities think of me or my magazine to tag us and help them not only promote but inform.

Wow…let’s read that word again….”Inform”.

me

Resting Bitch Face Part II

I mean I would think so….unless I missed the memo of the weekly stupidity report. (I always seem to miss those.)

Oh this is a good example. Recently, the President and his wife went on a venture trip and part of that trip was to visit the Pope. According to protocol, the first lady is supposed to dress in black with a veil. The next day I get up and there are hash tags going around she’s dressing for her future.

Look, motherfuckers, it’s shit like this that pisses me off. I think to myself how other countries must look at us and how stupid we are. Does anyone do their homework or research or are you taking things at face value.  I go and look up as to why Melania Trump is dressed like this and find out when Michelle Obama when to visit the pope with her husband she was also dressed in the same get up. So where was the hashtag for her? Not…right? Protocol dummies. #DoYourHomework

I never thought I would see such a level of stupidity and on a daily basis.

Am I pissed off? Hell yeah? Please people wake up and read. Take a history course. If you don’t know something or a term in social media, look the shit up before flying off on the deep end making all sorts of unrealistic threats, especially over a mention on paper.li. There is too much shit going on in this world to solely focus on hate that’s not going to change.  Hello Manchester fucking assholes. While everyone is diluted in their own hate look at the shit going on around you!

I mean, really?

And then here we are back at the lab where you have some of these bitches talking about they’re a coach? An advisor? A sexpert (now there’s a recent term for the last few years).

All of these are great names while most aren’t backed up with a degree. #Sad.

What’s even sadder is no one is evolving. People spend more time copying and not really make a real name for themselves other than social media. Whoever their followers are, they make a star for themselves but let me tell you ladies, once you step out the door of your apartment, you are like everyone else. No one is stopping you in the street for an autograph. You’re not getting nominated for Person of the Year in Time Magazine or a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

I’m not sure what we are coming to. Almost frightening when I think about it.  I try to stay in my own lane and focus on finishing my book An Illegal Affair (which is in its final stages before proofreading), but at times I veer off course and see stupid shit like, (in valley girl voice), “you betta take me off that tweet or I’m going to block you”.

Really, fuck you bitch. No one has time for such meagerness.

Good luck being 60 and thinking you’re going to get some man to pay you for a BDSM session.

That’s the funny part. Some of these women are forgetting day by day they are getting older.

Better think about your future princesses.

Until then.

Marabelle Blue~

Leaving New York…

byebyeplateAbout a month ago I tried putting this post up and it wouldn’t let me save into draft form and it wouldn’t let me post either which was weird.

Despite the technical difficulties, I wanted to share my feelings from the past until now in regards to leaving NYC.

About a month ago, I received an offer I just could not refuse. Through my current employer (yes I do have a day job), an opening came up I couldn’t bypass and after several weeks of interviewing I was offered the position.

I never really shared with anyone about the job or what my plans were. It was probably my best kept secret. Sure I shared with a few close friends, but nothing I needed to share on social media, public or personal.

Once the job was offered, it took me forever to pack. Not realizing how much shit I had, I never really organized myself in this move. Being depressed every now and then didn’t help and of course my parents were too busy to help me pack. I’m not sure what was going on with me. It was a distressed feeling as through the packing was draining me.

I saved everything for the last minute. It was just awful. As excited I was to move, I was still suffering with some form of depression. Even in the state of mind I was finally leaving NYC, I couldn’t shake the dead weight of my mind.

Needless to say, once I did make an announcement I was moving, everyone was sending me messages, asking where was I moving to. Some people didn’t realize they were on a need to know basis, on top of that was any one of these people for me when other things were going on in my life where I could have used a friend? Now, relocating, suddenly people want to be your friend.

No thank you.

Of course a select few were chosen to know, people who I regard as friends.

Right down to the last week, I got cheap to buy more boxes to move the rest of my things into storage since there was only so much money to go around it was either move me or move my things. (Hence the go fund me page www.gofundme.com/mbluemove).

While my stuff is hauled up in storage due to arrive the later part of January, I have to say relocating was the best choice I ever made for my life.

I never thought I would feel a sense of peace. I had been extremely unhappy in NYC since 2009, all I ever wanted to do was leave. When this opportunity came, what better way to go.

It was emotionally taxing to leave. A city I loved for so long felt as though every turn I made to try something new and better myself, wasn’t happening in an overpriced residence. I didn’t like my neighbors anymore, the noise became unbearable. The constant shoving and being squashed by people on the 1 line with those tiny chairs no one fit unless you were like 5 years old, just wasn’t cutting it for me.

My friend has asked me the last two weeks if I miss the Bronx….well.

I don’t.

NYC served its purpose. Something similar my ex said in 2001 when I thought we were working towards reconciliation. Some things serve a purpose and once that purpose is fulfilled, it’s time to move on.

For those of you wondering (and if you’ve seen my instagram posts you already know), I live in Arizona now. Close to Vegas and California. I was scared it would become a “Squidville” episode (for those who watch Spongebob), but thankfully it hasn’t.

I have found a bit of peace in the sea of my own chaos…the ones that live in my head. 😉

And finally you know that crazy question people ask….did you take all your animals? I ask., did you take all your children when you moved?

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

 

Viewing my World…A Little Bit Of Me…..

IMG_0798So most times, if not all the time, I use my WordPress to write my sarcastic thoughts about the Bachelor/Bachelorette like most people will that blog about this show.

But at times, I give a little of me almost as a therapeutic way of getting in touch with my own feelings as I continue to write my autobiography, which I have to say has been extremely difficult and for specific reasons, specifically on something I shared with my neighbor earlier today.

Last night as my phone chimes off from my news apps of the lunatic who shot up people at a bible class in church in South Carolina, I opt out of sharing breaking news I normally would. I needed to disconnect.

It was no surprise that everyone started blowing up social media timelines of their opinions on this person, as stated above, lunatic.

My neighbor and I were talking earlier as Friday is usually a day that we walk our dogs longer than usual and discuss life.  I needed the time to get away and unwind due to my current living situation which for some, I’ve made no secret of my disdain when it comes to my sister and her husband.

My sister has been living with me for the last two years due to a irresponsible husband that cannot keep a roof over her head. He is married who likes to play the field (allegedly).

He is not welcomed in my home.

He is the main reason why my family has much disconnect.

Why, is the question we give this piece of shit so much power.

Why my sister loves this man is the question that no one can answer.

He is well loathed (yes well loathed) in my family.

No matter what anyone says, at the end of the day, he’s a piece of shit in the present, to the past and eternity. Period. The End.

With that being said, while my neighbor and I were talking, I shared with her a story about my father. When I was a young girl, my father went out and worked every day to keep a roof over out head and have food on the table. I never, ever, saw a day of not having to eat, having clothes on my back and shoes on my feet. My father always ensured our well being.

While things weren’t all roses growing up with my father, I know he always had our best interests, even if at times we didn’t feel that way.

Being a grown woman, I can definitely understand why my father made the choices he made for us and you know back in the day, upbringing was different than they are these days. Our technology has changed the way in how we communicate and how we interact with one another.

So back when I was little. My father owned his own business. From my understanding, there was internal theft going on with one of his family members that caused him to lose his business which led to my father having to search out for a job. While typing the cover letter, every time he made a mistake he had to throw away the paper and start all over again which only infuriated him.

Thinking back on how he typed from throwing out letter after letter, to avoid sending a letter with a typeo, made me really emotional sharing this story. It was painful to see my father having to humble himself looking for a job after losing a business. Of course as a child you cannot equate the words with the feelings but today, I have a better understanding of what I was feeling.

There’s a saying uses in 12 step meetings, “by any means necessary” – which means that no matter what is going on in our lives, we must stay clean in order to ensure our integrity of our clean time. Without having a clear mind, you cannot make clear choices.

While my father was not using drugs, the concept is the same.

Not once did we feel a stress that our home was threaten. I never saw a housing court growing up.

Looking at my sister’s life and her poor choice of a husband, I’ve sarcastically asked, “we did grow up in the same household?”

I know she’s not the only one who’s in a place where she sees the good in someone who’s just a low down dirty piece of shit that contributes nothing to his wife and his children. He’s has not made one single effort to take responsibility to say, “this is my family and I will find us a place to live so we can be together as one unit.” He doesn’t care. He only cares about himself. Someone who clearly didn’t look up the meaning of marriage.

The word marriage is another form of emancipation. “Who gives this girl away….” (hint hint)

My father never gave away my sister for marriage. She did it in secret. Running to the court house to do a quick wedding and guess what, we were all supposed to be happy.

I have learned when you do things in secret, there’s a guilty part of you that knows it’s wrong. Why get any advice from friends and family that will tell you the truth when you can listen to a man who will lie to you and tell you everything you want to hear and give you a fantasy that will never come true.

Back in the nineties they called it champagne taste with beer pockets.

After more than twenty years, and about seven roofs over their heads and now mine, where does this all go? After two years of her living rent free (oh she pays the cable bill) when does it all end where I get my life back and my living situation back to normalcy?

I would have never thought my sister would do the same thing to me what she has done to every other homeowner where she’s rented an apartment and they’re good with paying their rent for about three months, when all of the sudden, they just decide, “well if we’re late, so what or we don’t feel like paying rent because we don’t like you…”

Responsibility is a big word. Sometimes it’s too of a big word for some people like my sister’s husband who enjoys having his cake and eating it too. Not once has her children with him said anything to me like, “thank you for keeping a roof over our head.” His older son has already taken the lead like his father. The apple does not fall too far from this tree.

I mean we did live in the same household….right?

For me, my father signified a pillar of strength and consistency. I have always told my friends when advising them, consistency will tell you a lot about another person. In this case, my sister’s husband has been completely consistent about being an irresponsible father and husband for the last twenty years.

Yes, consistency can tell you a lot about a person.

BTW the image is a tee shirt I bought when I was at Cannon Beach in Oregon.

Oh! On a side note, I went to my ex’s place to write (yes the one I broke up with in 2000 and thus created a magazine called Kink~E Magazine after discovering my voice) 😉 – He has a new girlfriend and you know that you’ve grown up when you can see two people being affectionate with each other and be happy for a person that you were not happy with. Sometimes it takes a while for people to figure that out. It’s called co-dependency (that’s a whole other topic for a whole other blog).

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~