#50Shades…good for #BDSM or Not? Highlights from last night’s @KEMTopTalk Show w/host @MarabelleBlue

50-shades-funny-photo-6As you may or may not know, I have bought my talk show back to the radio airwaves where everything originally started and I have to say I’m glad to be back.

Last night, the topic was on #50Shades, phenomena or not?

My panel last night consisted of whom I call experts in the BDSM industry. I love and respect them all. My first guest was @DirkHooper who’s a writer, mentor and host his own show The Fetish Show Radio Program, along with Dirk was @MClarissa who has appeared on our KEMTopTalk show when held at a secondary location in the Bronx. Mistress Clarissa does not only live by the BDSM Lifestyle but she’s also a political Dominatrix, DOMMEunist Feminist eco peace warrior,geek, twitter prophet – one of the smartest women I know and finally Mistress Ann Domi who recently came into my life and currently featured in our @DominatnNation section on @KinkEMagazine which you can find right here: http://kinkemagazine.com/issue/february-march-jungle-love-kinkemagazine-issue-2015/article/domination-nation-mistress-ann

All who are definitely high in their standards when it comes to BDSM and all have an extreme wealth of knowledge.

Points that were bought up on the show, Dirk mentioned the Christian Grey character was a piece of shit and from the male perspective of Domination, no man would treat his sub in such a capacity unless you are watching the ID Network. Also, as a mentor, Dirk treats everyone as individuals and not just as a flock of people looking for advice or guidance into the lifestyle. Knowledge and understanding are key points when Dirk advises anyone coming into this lifestyle for personal or professional reasons. Good point.

Mistress Ann also made points that it’s bad enough the BDSM  community is frowned upon, especially where she practices her lifestyle in Alabama. Not exactly open to “that type of behavior”, a lot of what she calls hate crimes against the BDSM Community. Mistress Ann favorite specialty is Corporal Punishment which she prides on studying and working with Dominas in European countries.

Mistress Clarissa also bought up good points in regards to the book, the way it was written and believing that it comes from a male view instead of a female point of view. All agreed that BDSM is a life filled with education. The education doesn’t cease because you have arrived at some point or some level in your life. With Mistress Clarissa, one of her many specialties is Mummification and suffocation, breathing exercises. How many people can say they can do that without harming another person.

Without giving too much away of the show, it’s definitely a must listen. While I was listening to my panel of experts, questions were swirling in my head of everything I wanted to ask.

Caller CJ Cassidy called in, author of A Tortured Soul Trilogy which you can find on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/The-Tortured-Soul-Trilogy-Pleasure/dp/146093430X a must read book! I read Living La Vida Puta which is part  of the trilogy and I will tell you this is one book I won’t even loan out to anyone. There are just some books that need to be part of your library and this is definitely one of them.

All in all the two hour show was put to great use and feeling rejuvanated to have my show back on the air.

Please take a listen here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kinkemagazine/2015/03/11/50-shades-making-the-bdsm-community-look-goodor-is-it

And you can also go to www.kinkemagazine.com where the show is displayed right on our front page.

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,


As the 50 Shades Nightmare Draws Upon Us….

The other night I rented Secretary. I had to. It was a way to remind myself set upon film that BDSM is a mindset, a mind fuck, if you will. James Spader played an excellent Dom while Maggie Gyllenhaal played the submissive women who found her BDSM side through Edward E. Grey. Grey….what a coincidence?

E.J. James, the supposed author who wrote this badly written book, had housewives losing their minds in to believing what what Fetish life is. I never read the book but I have read the comments about the book and I trust the comments. There’s no way that a “million” different people are wrong when they say this book is terrible. But yet somehow this poorly written book has been converted to a movie.

While I cannot judge the book for myself, I can only speak from my personal experience on both sides and the experience of those I interview. Recently. I added a section in my magazine called Domination Nation. The section features exclusively people in the BDSM industry where women work as professional Dominatrixes.

These women travel worldwide meeting subs around the world that will not only worship them but the subs get to live the lifestyle of having their personal desires met, whatever that may be.

I’ll give you a bit of an insight. There are those who have as fetish of being humiliated. Humiliation tactics may include, dressing up as a maid or being naked. Being dressed as a woman and collard while the mistress walks them around dressed like this.  Other humiliation tactics can be brutal, from spankings to pain and torture techniques that can include nipple clamps, chastity devices, electronic. butt plugs, caning, whippings and spankings, toilet training, eating cigarette ashes…possibly more. I’m sure. Please read what I just wrote. Can anyone honestly say they can partake in this type of scenario and be okay with it?

Probably not.

What did I start off by saying. BDSM is a mind set. a mind fuck.

Do you think that if they showed the true BDSM lifestyle on 50 Shades would it get an R rating. Absolutely not. People would be watching rated X at it’s best!

Is there such thing as light BDSM…sure, I guess. Blind folds, handcuffs, swing sets but if that’s all you’ve done you can’t honestly say you’ve experience BDSM in it’s purest and tortuous forms.

Recently the star of 50 Shades said he visited a Dungeon to gain inspiration for his role and instead ended up bashing those in the lifestyle by exclaiming he had to run and get in the shower before he touched his wife and child.

Actions such as these tells me that a person like this actor does not have an inkling of respect for this lifestyle. If that’s the mindset, then he can maintain his vanilla lifestyle and go fuck himself.

That tells me that you think BDSM is dirty and that the people that choose this lifestyle are dirty too.

Obviously there is no perfection in BDSM. One of the recurring themes you see at the request of any authentic Domina’s website one of the requirement is hygiene. No one wants to work with a smelly or dirty person. People that are in BDSM are not filthy people who live in filthy and have dirty dungeons filled with residue of cum.

Let’s get a fucking clue. BDSM is a lifestyle where the top requirements should be adhered to that any professional Domina will know to ask or even have up posted on their site.

Know CPR
Does the sub has any health issues that should be disclosed (i.e. heart problems)
A Safe Word
What are the limits if any
Does the Domina herself have any limitations – yes believe it or not she can say no
What kind of training has the Domina received?
Is anyone allergic to latex?

Just as it is important for the Domina to pose questions it’s just as important to the sub that they take their scenes in safety.

I had an interesting conversation with a Professional Dominatrix last night who comes from a superior lineage of those who live the BDSM lifestyle and extremely well trained. We both agree, going into your local sex shop, buying a latex dress and a whip does not make you a Dominatrix in any way shape or form.

I think the internet has bought many of those that noticed they can score quick money buy building a site, creating an Amazon wish list and make money without doing much of anything. While I don’t knock on how anyone makes their money, the fact remains. BDSM is a mind set and should be respected to it’s highest degree. In the same note, we also have many male subs who would rather play games and not tribute to a Dominatrix because they feel they can get over and get whatever it is they think they can get for free.  Male subs who are true to the lifestyle do not play games.

Mistress Christianna who resides in Florida has been in the BDSM life since the 70’s. Now in her sixties, she still practices the lifestyle.  You can only imagine how she felt when she found her list of rules in E.L. James’ book. Also note Christian Grey…..

I’ve also been told that a man wrote this book. Would not surprise me within the least. I mean Christian Grey…..

Sounds like this man who wrote this book did very little research on what BDSM is and wrote a fantasy of his desires without probably proofreading and then asked his friend to be the face of this book so that housewives could feel good about their mundane lives.

I know this sounds cruel. I’m sure housewives reading this are saying. what is that bitch talking about, my life isn’t mundane.

Okay so if it’s not, and you really want to explore true BDSM don’t support this stupid movie.

Until then,


OH yeah….for real BDSM news www.kinkemagazine.com – You’re welcome 😉

Twitter: www.twitter.com/marabelleblue