Married At First Sight – Six Months Later @FYI #marriedatfirstsight

married-at-first-sight-season-2-weddingsI had not realized they showed a six month follow up on Season Two of Married At First Sight.

Logging onto the FYI site, I followed up with having to endure terrible host Kevin Fraizer (wasn’t he like on E! or something) asking remedial questions to the couples who agreed to get married without never seeing their spouse until the day of the wedding.

The first couple up was Davina and Sean. Now if you recall, Davina and Sean work in the health care industry and both were victims of bullying as they were growing up. (What they do here is talk to them individually and then as a couple).

When Davina came out, she was aloof. She answered Kevin’s questions with the air of a starlet who was snubbed by her costar after the movie was filmed. I understand she doesn’t want to expose any hurt feelings. You have cameras following you in a reality series, I’m sure it can be quite intimidating to have to hide feelings

She accused Sean of being an outright liar and nothing he said was true. Throughout the whole time talking, Dr. Logan Levkoff was making faces and shifting her body back and forth in annoyance. I noticed how she looked at the spiritual adviser Greg Epstein in total disgust.

Did I miss something? Why were the advisers so upset? Even Dr. Cilina made a comment about Davina taking responsibility for her actions.

Just as I was taken in by the first season, I now question the second season and so forth. Were any of these couple ready to be married or was it they just looked good for television because they were all pretty?

At some point when Kevin had asked her a question relating to their relationship their wedding picture posted in the back suddenly drops to the floor and fell again when both Sean and Davina were in the room together discussing the demise of their relationship. *creepy*

When Sean was interviewed by Kevin, he admitted he was not ready to make any kind of move to NYC, even though in his application he claimed he would be willing to relocate. Isn’t that a lie right there? #justsaying

He also mentioned how Davina would shut down and how that would make his defense mechanisms go up and shut down as well.

The main theme with both is, they were not willing to budge or make a sacrifice in their relationship. And while the “experts” felt they were a perfect match, clearly both were not ready to make a real commitment to any kind of relationship. But they sure looked good on camera didn’t they…? #justsaying

Dr. Levkoff mentioned out the six weeks they were together they spent 10 to 16 days of that together. So they failed the experiment, not the other way around. Hmm?

Moving on to Jessica and Ryan who if anyone remembers the heated arguments they had together. I think Jessica spent more time berated by Ryan while she said there and cried about how she was afraid to express herself.

I can relate to that on MANY levels. No joke. When I was with my ex, I barely said a word sometimes in our arguments. Sometimes, yes, it can be quite intimidating but let’s be real here now….was Ryan really ready to be committed in a marriage? I don’t think so. Probably the worst match to date. I’m sorry but finding common grounding like they both have the same career path, similar childhood and/or lifestyle, doesn’t make a perfect match. Does it help? Yes, I certainly don’t dispute that. However, it’s not the ends all that says all, this is the perfect relationship because our panel of experts said so.

Noticing the whole time, Dr. Levkoff had not one smile on her face. Happy that Jessica was able to find her own voice, but really, through verbal abuse? That’s not finding your own voice. What was wrong with her before… where she needed to be in an abusive relationship to find her voice? Unheard of!

I’m confused.

While Kevin asks where are they now in their relationship, Jessica admits after the six weeks, Ryan needed a break and moved back to his place where they can get some breathing space. I don’t know. This doesn’t sound like a couple who were happy and in love. Oh wait was it the part where he called her all sorts of names when she accused him of taking the $100.

She also claimed on Valetine’s day they did not spend the day together but after visiting his apartment a week or so later, she found a card from another women dated this year. True or not I think anyone would find that quite disturbing, even when confronted by Ryan, he didn’t dispute someone sent him a card, but he said he had no control over who sends him greeting cards.

Okay, I can buy that. It’s true, you can’t control who sends you shit in the mail. For all we know it could have been some jealous girl or ex girlfriend who didn’t like that Ryan got married to someone else and probably believes she can be more fulfilling than Jessica.

Whatever the case is, I was surprised at the season finale they decided to stay together. This was not a compatible couple at all!

When both together sitting on the couch, Jessica brings up the $100 thing again and whips out a crisp one hundred dollar bill and gives it to him as he storms off the set. He didn’t want to answer if he was seeing someone else (he probably was and he doesn’t have to answer), but I also think that Kevin Frazier, who’s a terrible host, didn’t help the situation by asking him the question which only made him upset. Hello Kevin, did you not watch the show. The guy explodes at the drop of a dime. There’s a way to ask certain uncomfortable questions without being an ass about it. Everyone wants the inside scoop but you can’t be a jerk about it.

Needless to say, it was clear this relationship was a fail. It was so bad, you almost forgot why the “experts” paired them up in the first place.

Last but not least, Jaclyn and Ryan (who Kevin said was the nation’s favorite couple) – I missed that memo Kevin, you think you can pass the tip off to my marketing department. SMH.

Jaclyn who was single and abstinent for more than seven years was paired up with Ryan who she was not initially attracted to.  But somehow they really seemed to make it work, at least in the beginning. Jaclyn is a very straight forward woman and when you’re single, for a long time, sometimes those walls can come up and it’s not easy to open up to someone. I wouldn’t have suggested this at all to someone who’s been single for a long time to have their life uprooted and changed for a complete stranger.

Ryan’s interview was short, he talked about the great relationship Jaclyn has with his mom but when both paired up on the couch and Kevin asked them if they were still together, the answer was no.

I was surprised. They seemed to really want to work things out but like everyone else, I think they couldn’t wait to get away from the other person and go back to their comfortable life. While they both expressed they still had feelings for one another, Dr. Levkoff suggested they go have dinner and she’ll pay for it.

Of course she would….why not? The experts are trying to save face here people.

All of these relationships were doomed from the start.

Sean had no plans moving out from Jersey to move into cluttered Manhattan. Davina wasn’t moving out from an apartment she bought in the city and in some ways who can blame her. People are going to love Manhattan or not.

Ryan and Jessica have individual issues they need to settle as individuals and not as a couple. They both like to spite each other and in my book that’s not a real or even healthy relationship. I’m sure anyone can agree on that. Who wants to be fighting all the time?

As for Ryan and Jaclyn, it may work but then again it may not. I think if it was going to work maybe a kind of courtship can help, like dating and talking and not just jumping into bed right away. Sex is good but it’s not always the solution. It’s just a temporary, feel good, for the moment action. You still have to deal with the person on a day to day basis after and will they be willing to do that?

I can say this. After watching this horrendous season, I would be surprised if Season 3 turns out to be a success.

As for the experts, they are just part of the show. Maybe the producers will find looks will not make the show but to have interesting people who are willing to make this sacrifice to get a real discussion going on.

One thing they do need to do is get rid of Kevin Frasier and put me up there as the host after the season is over. I will take it a better level. Move over Kevin.

A real talk show host is waiting to take your spot.

me with mic

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Married At First Sight – Cohabitation and Happy New Year

Ryan D. and Jaclyn

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After Ryan and Jaclyn were able to establish a living situation, they consummated their relationship. However, this relationship didn’t start off as a romantic one.

When those doors opened up it was similar reaction to Jamie when she married Doug. Not a very happy one. And even though Jaclyn said, “I do”, inside she was screaming, “I don’t”. Makes me wonder why women continue to just say yes to something where they really want to say no.

Anyway, getting back to this couple, because they are reality television, I’m sure they had to sign some kind of disclosure saying they would stick with this for the next six weeks and even though a honeymoon can make everything exciting, reality is what sets in when the vacation is over and real life steps in.

For this couple things seems to be getting off on a good foot, however, because of Jaclyn’s very possessive and strong attitude, it seems that she tries to castrate Ryan by playing the man role too, instead of just letting Ryan be the man in the relationship.

Behavior like this for me is when someone is really not that into you and will play the role of, “let’s be buddies and hang out and get to know each other.” I think they had a show like this on Bravo who followed couples that were best of friends but one of them was secretly into the other….I don’t know whatever happened to that show. Bravo goes through shows, like ATL Housewives go through hair weaves.

I’ve been known to go out on dates with guys that I was not interested in and would take over the conversation to ensure that this will not go any further and they will remain in the friend zone. Since I don’t like to play games, rest assured, it ended that night when the date was over.

Ryan lived with his family and extremely close to them. Due to the loss of his sister and then his brother in law, he was raising his niece, basically stepping in as the parents this little girl lost. Having to make a move and be away from his family, Ryan was definitely going through withdrawal but seemed ready to make the compromise and sacrifice to co-habitat with his new wife.

For Jaclyn, who seemed to struggle with the new man in her life, started to see a different side of Ryan once they began to get their house in order.

While I agree with Dr. Joseph, there is a side of yourself you have to let go in order to allow someone in your life, you also have to do it with common sense. Just because a doctor told you that this is your ideal mate it doesn’t mean that’s necessarily true.

I think what is lacking in this relationship like the rest of the cast is the courting which seemed to take place with Cortney, Jason, Doug and Jamie. They all were very committed to making their relationships work which included romance.

I’m not really seeing that with this couple…for now at least. Jaclyn is a very outspoken woman and you know sometimes, guys don’t like that. While they like women who exude strength they certainly don’t like to look like an idiot.

New Year’s day, visiting her family, she made it a point to share that under no circumstances she wants to have a child after 35. And not saying this in private but saying this in front of her family.

I think in relationships, there are certain conversations you should have in private and not in front of family members. This was definitely not topic of discussion saved for family and friends.

Davina and Sean

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The team of experts paired Davina and Sean on the main commonality that they were both bullied while growing up. Davina lives and owns an apartment in New York, which Sean owns a house in New Jersey. Both have agreed that for now living separate during certain days of the week while Sean goes to work, will just have to work for the time being. Even though Davina doesn’t like this idea, this is something that she’s temporarily dealing with only to appease Sean.

Here’s another couple with a situation where one loves living in New York while the other isn’t really having it. I think once someone lives in New Jersey and becomes accustomed to living a certain lifestyle, who really wants to live in the hustle of New York. If the man has to drive into work, who wants to drive back and spend an enormous amount of money for parking? Not ideal for New York City living.

Davina isn’t willing to make a compromise.

Sean made a private call from Dr. Joseph regarding their relationship how the chemistry was initially strong to now a friendship level of relationship.

While Dr. Joseph informs Sean to not be hard on himself on his feelings and anxiety, he should find understanding on himself and be accepting of what he’s feeling and find a solution through it.

I think Dr. Joseph is right, BUT, let’s be real here….I mean, this is reality television isn’t it?

Davina comes from a culture where most relationships are arranged, therefore there isn’t really a pursuit or courting. However, Davina who is Americanized and has exposure to American culture understands what is means to be courted or romanced. At least that is what we are taught. Just tune in to, “Say Yes to the Dress”, that’s all you hear and quite honestly that’s what women want. So what happens when you meet someone and marry them at first sight? Where is the romance? Sounds like a repeat of Ryan R. and Jaclyn.

Ryan D. and Jessica

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Now this couple, I questioned on every episode. They did have sex the first night and I’m sure they plenty of sex during the honeymoon, but after the honeymoon, everything changed and things got pretty serious and pretty nasty in a matter of three short weeks.

Jessica is not a girl who communicates her feelings at all. She says she cooks but she doesn’t cook, she says she wants closet space but she doesn’t express that, she says the kitchen will always be clean but gets a nasty response in return. He gets angry because she irons on the bed, she’s tired of sushi, she’s mad because he took their wedding money for himself, oh and let’s forget how he thinks pierces are nasty or tacky and she took out her Monroe piercing to “make a change” but yet he has a shit load of tattoos. What the fuck?

Ryan is very ghetto when he talks to her and Jessica seems to get shut out when she does. They continue to have big arguments and even after celebrating New Years Eve together as a couple, I didn’t see a loving couple at all.

It’s almost as if when everything is good, it’s really good, but just for the time being and when everything is bad, it’s really bad.

So far the last few episodes ending with Happy New Year so far isn’t happy for all of the couples.

All blogs on current reality shows found on www.realonreality.com

Newlyweds: The First Year – Where are they Now?

As you know, I did a video blog of the Newlyweds gang and predicted that Blair and Jeff would last and the other couples were questionable. Well guess what…I was wrong.

Watch my video here:

tina and tarzTina and Tarz – Married 2 years and 8 Months

Tina and Tarz, now married for more than two years are still living under the capacity of Tarz spending most of his time on Pandoodle and Tina still having her tantrums.

Last season ended with Tarz and Tina finding out they were having a baby after several miscarriages, Tina was finally able to have a baby and it was not a girl. She behaved like she was happy but one never knows with the way she behaves. Putting her career on hold, she now helps out Tarz with Pandoodle but she still has many temper tantrums, more than her own child. Surprisingly, as nasty as she is, they are still hanging touch, proving that Tarz but have some kind of love for this women. He even choked up when he was describing how they had to wheel her away for a cesarean section when she gave birth to their son.

Sadly, her father who didn’t approve the relationship at the last season, even though danced his ass off at their wedding has only worsen over time. Tarz expressed later in the episode that his dealings with Tarz has mentioned that the relationship with her father has gotten worse and he responds to him differently. Tina’s father is more disrespectful now than he was a year ago. It got so bad that Tina had an outburst at an ice cream shop of course leaving everyone stunned that was watching the debacle as she threw fruit and sprinkles around the table.

As for their child, Tarzie, Tina has recruited her child to the entertainment industry by signing him up for a modeling agency. When her entourage comes in thinking they are going to do make up for her, she actually has them there for the baby. Suggestions she made, “can we dye his hair with blonde highlights”, huh? This is a two year old child.

Needless to say, she convinces the talent scouts at the audition, after her baby walks into the door glass and busts out crying that she gets a call from them they will be using her baby for photo shoots.

Tina and Tarz ended this episode with another pregnancy test, testing positive. Who knows maybe this time she will have a girl and then she forget her first child and concentrate on the girl.

john and kathrynJohn and Kathryn – Married 2 years and 8 months

John and Kathryn who’ve been married two years and eight months, if you recall, Katherine uprooted her life from the city to the suburbs converting her whole life, giving up her career but then going into business with her husband who now own a tanning salon. However, one of the biggest hurdles still even with their child Dean, the biggest thing that John has not let go with Kathryn, is trusting her with money. He’s still in control of the finances; however he has eased on the lists he was obsessed with originally when the show air by now using Siri which Kathryn described as his “new girlfriend of the 21st century. One of things all the men will say is that they did make some asshole comments and one of the things he has stressed that if you’re going to say anything on television, watch what you say.

John who loves being a dad, for some reason does not like being alone with his son, almost as if he doesn’t know what to do with him. I’m sure he’s happy but he doesn’t seem like daddy material. Perhaps when his son is a teenager it will be a different story but how sad to miss out the growing up process.

All in all I think that John and Kathryn are the typical family, the 2.5 family with the white picket fence. They are happy; I think John respects Kathryn more now than he did when they were initially together. I also recall John’s sister being the nosy busy body, she wasn’t much of a focal point in this, “where are they now”. One of the most disturbing things in a healthy relationship with a couple is when a family member feels the need to put their nose in where it doesn’t belong.

I’m glad to see that John and Kathryn found a common ground with each other. While they have their own individual personalities they have such respect for each other and I like that John allows Kathryn to be Kathryn because in the beginning it was pretty scary to see the control on John’s part.

kim and alaskaKim and Alaska – Married 2 Years and 8 Months

Kim and Alaska who I thought would not last for a variety of reasons. One, Kim and her constant badger of they must shower together. I cannot understand that concept. Why? Why?

Okay, maybe I’m just too much of a person who enjoys private shower time, for me, shower time, should be the foreplay of foreplay. Not that you wake up in the morning and jump in the shower with your mate. Okay, maybe once in a while but certainly not mandatory.

As for Kim and Alaska, they sure have put great effort into their relationship. Alaska left his job at a music company and started his own company. Kim who was set on living in New York, ended up moving to L.A. with Alaska. Their honeymoon seemed to have made the difference in where their relationship stood and built the foundation to where they are two years later. Alaska also mention the nasty comments he received in the first season of the show.

I believe that Kim’s idea of what a relationship should be is the ideal couple who’s fifty, fifty and support each other in their careers just as equally. I think the medicinal pot that Alaska’s been smoking for his back has also helped the relationship (LOL). I am happy to see them together as they lived up their status as a power couple and I like that.

jeff and blairJeff and Blair – Married 2 Years and 8 Months but not living together

Jeff and Blair were discussing their relationship and Blair said he was embarrassed that they were the couple with the most problems, which I don’t believe that to be true. I think all the couples had their own issues and every couple is different. Blair felt he never got enough sex from Jeff which I stated in my video blog and Jeff was the one with the absent family and never let his success get in the way of that. Not only is Jeff successful, but in his relationship with Blair, sex and money were the biggest issues because Blair didn’t have a full understanding of being responsible. Sometimes a sixteen year gap can make or break a relationship only because of the maturity level.

Look, some people can say someone at 21 can be mature, but something will happen where they will be absolutely clueless and not relate to the experience at all, especially if they are in a relationship with a person older than they are.  As much as these two guys had so much love for each other, it was sad to see that their relationship had come to end.

On an even more positive level, Jeff and Blair displaying their relationship to the world has benefited many who have came out and being true to themselves. Which I love to hear. Being gay has such a terrible stigma and for me, personally, I don’t get what the big deal is about. Who is to say who we should love? Since when does love have restrictions and judgments?

During their separation, Blair has admitted that he has changed his life a great deal by running and now has gotten into spiritually and praying a lot more. It makes you wonder during a break up, do people do things because they are trying to prove something to the other person or are they really doing it for themselves?

And while Blair came back to Jeff’s life and they met at Jeff’s house to reunite and try once again to live in harmony, things looked promising. Blair started his own business and Jeff suggested that Blair should use the garage as his new office space. One of Jeff’s fears was of them arguing. Last season Blair felt he was not getting enough attention and enough sex. Being that the age difference was vast, I can understand why Jeff was more of a calmer nature than Blair.

Asked when they separated if they went outside of their relationships, Jeff said he did not see anyone else or date anyone else, while Blair chose not to answer the question, giving us the assumption that he did see other men.

Sadly, after much effort, Jeff and Blair found themselves back in the same place they were in before, arguing and not finding the common ground of communication. Their domestic partnership ended when they met at a restaurant to sign the final paper work. Seeing the end of this relationship was quite painful. Jeff and Blair seem to love each other very much but cohabiting together was the final straw that put an end to what could have possibly been a great relationship.

When I used to make 12 step meetings, I remember a guy sharing about the secret of relationships, they are hard. It takes a great commitment to compromise and respect the person that you love. They are not to be taken for granted. Even though two people can look great together, the fact is, if they can’t find a common ground of respect for one another then it’s time to move on.

Final words of advice from the couples were:

Jeff: Be kind to one another, caring and most importantly be patient

Blair: Pick your battles and in certain cases keep your mouth shut.

Kathryn: Communicate and don’t keep everything bottled up inside.

Kim: Take your time and slow down, don’t complain about the things that aren’t because you will miss the process of getting there

For the Newlyweds Season 2 – Advice for TV

Tarz:  Be sure you were clean clothes because you’re on camera all the time

John: Definitely have fun with it and think before you speak!

Tina: (of course being Tina) Who gives a fuck what anyone thinks of you. If you’re mother Theresa people will still complain.

Alaska: Don’t read the tweets, listen to your wife and don’t sound like an asshole on television because you will be an asshole for the rest of your life.

I’m happy to see that the couples are doing well for each other.