Kink~E Magazine – Fourteen Years In the Making….

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I can’t believe how much time has passed.

If you ask me back then in 2000 after my break up and finding myself in how to exist in this world, “would you ever imagined owning a popular magazine where you would feature and interview people in the entertainment industry?” – I would have simply answered, “Nope”.

To understand who I was in 2000, I started writing my autobiography several years ago and has been a pain staking process. It’s not fun to have to relive certain shit but in the matter of helping someone else is part of the reason why I’m writing my book. In the interim, I’m also in the midst of writing several erotica books, including three self help books.

“To write about pain is to understand where that pain stems from.” (From “How I View the World with Me In It”, author, Marabelle Blue ©2016).

It’s not an easy feat to contend with because as humans we are so used to blaming the other person or circumstances for our choices. I’ve seen it happen and I myself have privy to that type of behavior.

I couldn’t see all of this when I started my magazine. All I saw was a group of people who lived (including myself) in an Alternative world that didn’t have a place to share their voice. Sure we have other types of periodicals where alternative voices were heard, but that seemed to slowly die out once people became aware of this thing called the Internet.

Through blogging my own personal journeys, I did two years of research and spoke with many different people from local NYC underground communities.

At first I wanted the magazine to be this dark place, almost like a dungeon, where fetish became alive and the voices behind the fetish underground were free to speak and share why they enjoyed this lifestyle.

While the magazine was making it’s rounds online, I remember attending a party at Mother with Master Steelow, my real first exposure of seeing the BDSM lifestyle at work (trust you won’t find it in 50 Shades) and talking to him about the magazine, but at the time it was so new, I don’t think he took me seriously. At least that was the way I took it.

The first few years was rough. I was learning how to maintain a website, let alone create one from scratch and decipher the content. The magazine went through phases, what worked and what didn’t work. When Myspace rolled along, this was my starting point of using social media and getting people to read the magazine which was great and good exposure to not only reach those within the U.S. but also outside of the United States.

People began referring to me as Miss Kink but I wanted something more relevant, a personality which was true to my reflection. Being I was calling myself  Marabelle Blue, I decided to the name and market myself myself an individual who was also part of Kink~E Magazine.

One of the things I learned about social media and exposing yourself to the public is someone coming along thinking they can snatch your shit and make it better. That’s when the evil old lady from Australia came in and plagiarized my magazine. After going through the proper channels on how to address her bullshit the battle ended with one winner. Did she really think she was going to win?

Here’s the deal, when you create something, people will always come in and try to mimic you and ride your band wagon. It happens every time to everyone. One of the most important things I’ve learned within the social media spectrum, don’t brag and don’t expose your shit until it’s good and ready. Sure we all want to brag and there’s nothing wrong with healthy sharing about your progress and confidence, however, yet another when you spend all day tweeting or facebooking on how fabulous you are. The only ones who are the ones who don’t feel good about themselves. It becomes cult like after a while.

Over time with the good things and the not so good things, Kink~E Magazine finally found a place in people’s lives and hearts and that has to do with many of the writers who have come and joined the fold realizing this was a place to share thoughts, opinions and/or grievances. A place where we feature people in the entertainment industry in the sincerest of light and not just making sex the number one topic.

Behind the life of every performer is a sincere, empathetic person who loves what they do and isn’t afraid to show it.  Behind every authors are people who share their most intimate thoughts in story telling and behind every opinion is a person who stands strong in their plight.

The internet has grown a lot. And with that growth, we all continue to keep KinkE on top with interesting notes and topics, discussing current issues and trends.

I still keep up with my good Kink’s Korner (remember how Charlie Sheen copied me with Sheen’s Corner), discussing relationships and life in NYC.

A lot will change within Kink~E Magazine, all good things. I won’t disclose yet what those changes are (we still have the copy haters watching), but I will say this, this past year has been the best. I enjoyed every issue and what we feature to you.

For all the times I wanted to give up, I would get an email from someone telling me how much they enjoyed reading the articles in the magazine, how much they found they weren’t alone in what they were feeling, there was no way I would give this up.

When BBW came along, we found a whole new audience lovers of Big Beautiful woman. Thank you @theKimmieKaboom for the enticing interviews she brings.

Thanks to my girl Dr. Sue (@DoctorSue) and her expert field in cuckolding (among other topics) and Christine who has been hitting the hardcore topics of hate in America and just America itself. And for Dirk who keeps the fetish articles alive in offering advice and tips in how to play it safe.

To all the past writers who have shared their thoughts and advice on topics we seem to discuss behind closed doors when it shouldn’t be that way.

Most importantly I need to thank every person who has contributed and supported Kink~E Magazine for all of these years.

We stand united in our alternative beliefs and lifestyle. This isn’t just about sex or porn or fetish life and gender roles, this is about life and respecting each other’s values and belief system whatever that may be and for as long as you’re not hurting anyone deliberately. (I need to make that clear.)

There is not one person living who is a “God” who can tell us who to love or not to love, how to have sex and why certain behaviors are “wrong”, that’s just unrealistic.

With that being said, Happy Birthday to Kink~E Magazine and thank you to each and every person who continues to support us.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

Check out KEM TopTalk latest shows

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Does Success Derive from Humility?

Seems to be the question of the moment for me after watching Robin Meade this morning report in the news on Kanye’s rant at SNL. Was this before or after the “sweet” Taylor Swift not only accepted her award but reminded everyone when you work hard, accept the rewards [awards] with gratitude and never let anyone tell you different.

Well she didn’t put it in those exact words but you get the message right?

When Ms. Swift made her speech I didn’t feel she was just speaking to Mr. West (y’all) but speaking with anyone and everyone who aspires to be something great, whatever that greatness may be in a positive light.

Yes, there are many who believe because they arrived at a certain point in their lives, they believe they can be the misfit of society, “I want what I want and I want it now”, type of attitude that generates the group of haters and the obnoxious individuals that will not only support said behavior but also continue to make themselves broke supporting said behavior.

Kinda dumb isn’t it?

Look, I’m not a Kayne hater. I don’t sit back trolling the internet saying, “what am I going to say bad about him today”. A true hater does everything they can to continue to rise the hate within themselves over someone else’s successes (I thought I should point that out because there are many delusional people out there who have limited vocabulary and understand the meaning of true hate). Scary to know in this day and age we have more of those than we do people supporting one another in their good causes.

2005_Penny_Rev_Unc_D.pngSpeaking of causes, can someone confirm Kanye actually has a go fund me page, so I can chip in my penny.

But seriously. The thing that irks me the post is when Mr. West compares himself of great artists of our time. I cannot sit here and say, I write like the great Jackie Collins or Stephen King. I write like I know how to write and express myself. However, I always remember there’s always room to learn and grow from my writing habits and styles in expressing not only for me but for whomever decides to read my material.

I’m in the process of writing a very personal love story and rewriting another book I actually finished but now must make major changes. I think when you have a gift, you find a way to channel that gift so you can share with the world (if you choose), or help other people. We’re not dummies to take those gifts and make money from them, especially if they are the choice for career. It’s what happens when you become recognized for your work and the money comes flowing in.

bedroom setHow does anyone handle that only remains to be seen with each individual person. If there’s one thing I don’t talk about much is my interview with 50 Cent. One thing he mentioned in his interview about obtaining money, buying the mansion with a bunch of rooms but you can only sleep in one bed (my apologies not verbatim).

I have been broke and broker than broke. I have set up go fund me pages to help start up a studio for KEM TopTalk in the past and guess what…. no one gave a shit even while people do enjoy the show. By the way, my show will be coming back soon. My life was at a standstill and now I’m building my own studio in my apartment. 🙂

Sometimes there are things we don’t like doing to get where we are going. When I got clean and sober in 1991 I remember people telling me ‘it will get better’. I wanted to believe in my head, if I took a break from drinking I can regroup and drink again.

Almost 25 years later. (Hang tight June 16th I’ll have 25 years of sobriety).

So, does humility have something to do with getting somewhere in life and/or meeting your goals. Yes.

But once you’ve met your successes and goals, what happens next?

Success, fame, entertaining is a hard pill to swallow. Every day I ask myself what kind of person will I be once I’ve attained the status I am looking to gain? Am I afraid? Of course, who wouldn’t be? My belief system has always been, “with good intent”.

I have seen people acquire their statuses through fake story telling or fake positions they tell people they’ve had and when they didn’t. I have had people say things about my magazine and where are they now? Once you put yourself in line to say you have something better, you better be prepared to live up to your words.

“Comparing is never a winning concept. Individuality is.” (as quoted by Marabelle Blue~)

Stay humble Kanye. Stay humble.giphy

Until then.

Loves and Hugs and Take Care of You!

Marabelle Blue~

 

 

#TheBachelor @benhiggi – #BenBeccable @chrisbharrision

 

I was all convinced at some point Olivia would be one of the top two but I think between episodes 1 and 2, I changed my mind. Now watching episode three, I’m would be surprised if Olivia receives a rose at the end of this.

Four weeks in and she’s calling Ben her husband and how she’s in love with him that’s “her man”, “Ben and Zen” I’m not sure how many more shit she can come up with, that is after Chris Harrison announces Ben is no long in Los Angels but rather in Las Vegas (my future home).

As soon as they realize they are going, she’s instigating she’s going to whisper to him, she wants to see Celine. She’s funny.

Needless to say, once the ladies arrive in Vegas, the first date card also arrives in their hotel room at the beautiful Aria Hotel (was there in 2014 truly beautiful hotel), and JoJo is on this particular one and one.

When Ben picked her up as they waited for the helicopter and the girls became jealous but then laughed when the helicopter landed and the force of the propellers knocked the table and champagne down from the table BUT walked away when Ben took advantage of the moment and kissed JoJo. Now that was pretty cool.

 

During the one on one, it seemed the conversation between Ben and JoJo was truncated. What exactly the story with JoJo and her last relationship. Why did it sound like she was having an affair? I mean no offense, we’re all grown here, aren’t we and shit happens, however, it would make sense she would discuss a relationship to make a conversation flow for the cameras and before you know it, Ben is offering a rose. Okay. Great.

The night ended with one more surprise after he gave the rose to JoJo, the fireworks above the Aria hotel began to spark when the girls inside their room heard the fireworks but could not see them (Ben and JoJo’s date were at the MGM Grand – great hotel too) of course had a clearest view of the fireworks.

JoJo one point, Olivia zero.

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Keeping My Options Open…

henotintoEver meet someone and think, wow this may be a person I can hang out with and see where it goes. Then you start talking and that statement comes out, “I’m not looking to be in a relationship”.

I’ve heard this before. I once dated a very sexy attorney who said the same thing and for eight months we spent a lot of time together. We went out to dinners, lunch, to his place of course.

I’ve spent weekends with him, but after eight months, the statement still stood, “I’m not looking to be in a relationship”.

And with that, after an argument we had, an emailed titled “Us”, before I opened it, I knew it was over. I didn’t cry. I expected it. He was a great man. I don’t have a bad thing to say about him. I really don’t. But he wanted to play the field and I wasn’t there in my life to be with someone I had to share, that is till a few months I met someone else, but that’s another story for another time.

Anyway, so back to the “new” guy. We met towards the end of summer, he was a “newbie” to our dog run and my neighbor noticed he was checking me out. To be quite honest, I wasn’t sure if he was, I wasn’t sure if he was straight but he is LOL.

After running into each other several times and talking, we both learned, we are single (good start), we have similar values and belief systems, we both like to laugh and joke a lot, however there a holes in this “developing relationship”.

For someone who says they are interested, the behavior doesn’t match up. Sure he knows about me and my magazine, interviews, etc but how does that affect how we interact with each other, it doesn’t seem to get in the way of who we are as individuals. And for someone who says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, doesn’t act like he’s attracted to me either, words, like “my hang out buddy”, isn’t something that leads to anything romantic, at least not in my book.

The awkward hugs, the let’s get together and meet up at the dog run and hang out isn’t my idea of getting to know one other while my dogs are freezing out in the cold (and me too), what about diner time, talking in a place where we won’t get thrown out right away. Nope, that’s not happening. Any phone calls during the day, no, but I get texts periodically. Some days are more than others when he’s talking about projects and skit writing he suddenly wants to do.

Anyone seeing a pattern here?

Other than someone I can relate to in writing scripts or books, there isn’t really anything else there other than wishful thinking.

Last night I asked him if he was attracted to me. His response was yes, but he’s reserved because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. And he also said, “if I wasn’t attracted to you, I wouldn’t be here with you right now”.

Well I feel better already [sarcasm].

That feeling creeps over, “what is wrong with me”.

Disappointed? Yes.

However, I know what I’m looking for. It’s not to spend another eight months with someone and get hurt in the end.

When a man says he’s not looking to be in a relationship, believe him. The worst thing in the world is to know a man doesn’t feel you are deserving enough to spend time with.

Keep your self esteem because there’s someone out there who will appreciate you for it.

Moving on…

Until then.

Love and Hugs,
Marabelle Blue

What’s Real and What’s Not…

The week of November 16, minding my business, getting off the train to head home, I noticed someone from the corner of my eye as I walked down the stairs and they walking beside me. Now the first thought is, “who the fuck is this person”, then he speaks…

“boy does that chicken smell good.”

There’s a restaurant up the street from the train station and I will say this, if the chicken is more than a day old, and they’re cooking it, it smells pretty bad.

The conversation leads to me saying the food didn’t smell good and I can make better chicken than they can. I thought that was the end, until he walked with me to my destination.

Okay, aggressive maybe?

Approaching the ninety nine cents store, I tell him, “well I have to go in here” and he asked me for my number.

I asked him to give me his and I promised I would call him back.

“What’s your name?”, he asked.

“My name is Marabelle.”

Well I wasn’t going to tell him my birth name. LOL.

Needless to say, I did give him my number. My business number. And then the calls started maybe a two days later. I didn’t feel we had much in common. But after a few text exchanges and a few calls in between, he surprised me last Saturday meeting me at the very same area we first started talking and took to the diner where we spent about four more maybe a bit more hours talking about everything.

Then my view changed.

Wow, this guy is smart and we do have a lot in common.

But…(you know there’s always that damn ‘but’), due to privacy issues, I changed my phone number on my ‘whatsapp’ to my business number, not realizing anyone who had the app and my business number will pop up a notification like, “hey your friend just joined whatsapp” – the same number I gave to this guy, who looks at my profile pic, watermarked, “Property of Kink~E Magazine”.

I have struggled for many years with men who thought that me owning a sex magazine made me available for sex, or that I was some kind of freak fucking different guys every night. Or how can I be such a prude and own a sex magazine.

Umm well, people are dirty and disgusting and I don’t open my legs to anyone unless they are fucking worth it. And oh, my fetish life isn’t practiced with some fly by night asshole that doesn’t know what he’s doing.

The men I meet get it very twisted and very confused as to who I am, what I do, what is the purpose of the magazine and why I do it.

The mission statement on www.kinkemagazine.com is very clear and anyone who reads it knows exactly what my magazine is about, what my writers do and what we talk about. Most importantly, why it’s so important to educated people living or exploring alternative lifestyles.

Well now upon knowing this info he had on hand, I told him what I do, I’m a writer, I own a magazine and I have different writer who discuss different aspects of adult entertainment and alternative lifestyle and he seemed cool with it.

After our endless hours of talking, it was time for me to go home and get rest and figuring I would hear from him the next day, I did not.

Okay what the fuck is going on here. You like someone (remember we are not 25, I don’t have time for stupid mind games), you’re not going to waste time or say, “well, duh, gee, I’ll contact her three days from now. By then I would have lost interest.

Bothered by the fact he didn’t make much of an effort, but texting here and there, I said something and it seemed to wake up the senses and led to another all night conversation.

Now my head space is, “yeah I’m feeling this guy, we can hang out get to know each other.”

Today, not so much. Inconsistent. Not making much of an effort BUT definitely made an effort in exposing exactly what he wanted to do me, desires of feasting on certain parts of my body…(use your imagination, ya’ll know what I’m talking about).

Yeah…no, I wasn’t feeling it.

I go out with you ONE time and one week later you’re talking about eating me out. It’s one thing to flirt, yet another when you’re just horn dog asking for sex when I barely even know the guy.

No thank you.

Does he not think I’m already getting emails like that from someone who’s been chasing me since 2000. And OH what about the guy I connect with periodically. While he’s busy playing mind games, someone else (someone I know) texting me at the same time, asking when I’m coming over.

A friend with benefit understanding only works with me for ONE person. I don’t need an extra person for that especially if they are telling me how REAL they are, when in essence are just full of shit.

I have been “around the block” enough to know all the stories guys play just to get a girl into bed, instead of just being forthright in saying, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now, however, I would like a partner I can be intimate with and have fun.”

Last time I checked, there’s nothing wrong with that level of honesty, but that’s just me. Some women may find the whole statement repulsive and that’s okay too.

Look I’m not here to judge, far from it. But when you come in with lies about me being in your heart and saying all of these romantic things just to get me in bed, is where I lose all respect for a person who’s flat out lying.

After addressing said issue, not only does he block me on twitter (why I don’t know he’s not worth reading any tweets he puts out), he blocks my number on his phone (after last Saturday when he tells me I gave him my “heartline” after I gave him my personal cell number).

If these are the actions of a person who claims they are telling the truth, guess what…you’re not.

Liars will not defend their actions once they’ve been found out. If anything they run the other way to ensure their integrity is not found out by others so they can pull the same game on someone else who will buy the lie.

While no one knows who I’m talking about, the last thing I would do it tag him on tweets like an immature child and accuse him of being a liar. Sure I will say certain things, but I won’t tag a name on to it.

He could have taken a different approach had he been telling the TRUTH, maybe by picking up the phone and calling and defending himself.

Being truthful is painful, whether you’re on the receiving end of it or not, hearing it for yourself when the words are departing from your lips can be painful.

After tonight, I was hurt and disappointed because I really wanted him to be for real in everything he was saying, but in the back of my mind, something said, there’s something not right.

I have learned to follow my intuition instead of following my heart.

Sad when you can’t follow your heart.

I text a friend of mine and told her what barely began has pretty much ended. In this phone conversation, a lot was revealed to me saying the words out loud.

Even in my own personal truth, as the words left my lips, my tears streamed down my face, because this really wasn’t about this guy, it is about something in the past, yet to be closed and the actions I am taking, in my own personal journey to resolve it.

You will all get a chance to share in that, I promise you.

In the meantime, my tears lie on the disappointment more than the person himself. It sucks when a person doesn’t tell you the truth, it sucks even more when they feel they can get over on you and not care about the feelings you’re investing through their web of lies.

(Addition) I wanted to say this, there’s always a reason why everyone goes through certain paths in their lives. I believe there’s a reason why I am having these experiences. While these experiences may not be so pleasant I know at the end of this tunnel will flourish something beautiful.

The journey continues….because whoever my “one” is, will completely and totally love me for who I am and not what they think I’m supposed to be.

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

Ohh Those School Girl Memories

Just a little tidbit…earlier I was at the supermarket, having come back from a consultation for a dreaded procedure thanks to some stomach issues I’ve been having the last week.

Playing on their #Sirius radio was REO Speedwagon, “Keep on Loving you” – boy that bought back so many good memories, it made me smile from ear to ear.

The other song they sing which is near and dear to me which, “Can’t Fight this Feeling”.

It reminds me of a time in high school where I realized Alternative lifestyle was real through a guy who was gay but kept it hidden from all of us. I never knew he was gay until one day he shared with me during a charms blow pop lesson on how to give blow jobs (yes this story is true)

It was a pivotal moment in his life when he realized he liked someone so much and was struggling with this song came about when he repeated the lyrics to me and how true they felt for him.

REO Speedwagon may have been talking about a fallen love in this song but to this guy, the words represented something so different and so real. The struggle of being a teenager in the 80s and having feelings for a guy when the world was dictating to him normal relationships were with woman.

Times have changed and the lyrics still stand.

Every time I hear this song, it always leaves me wondering what happened to my friend. Did he ever find love? Was he able to finally able to express those feelings and not fight them anymore.

Sometimes the world is a cruel place. Especially when the internal struggle is in a world that tells you loving a person who has the same anatomy as you is wrong.

I’m glad that song gave him solace to know he wasn’t alone in what he felt.

I may have not known it then, but the paths were leading me to a magazine I would create, a platform for people to sound their voices. Even if people don’t stay in your lives forever, their journey will always leave an impression on you.

Long live the lyrics of REO Speedwagon!

 

Loves and Hugs,
MB~

#TheBachelorette E9 – @kaitlynbristowe @haibon_jared @realrealitymag- Down to the Final Four

the-bachelorette-week-5_105The rose ceremony isn’t for an hour into the episode.

Kaitlyn was talking about how more difficult the week will become as she will need to say goodbye to two guys because the next round of dates will be the fantasy over night dates before any families are met.

Usually it’s the other way around. She will be left with four guys and those four guys would be the home town dates where she would meet their families. Why didn’t they do that?

The first date she had was with Ben H., who out of nowhere she had some attraction to him. Was this more than Nick and Shawn?

On a boat sailing the beautiful waters towards Innisfallen Island in Ireland – they spent time together playing hide and seek while back and forth interviews with Ben admitting that he has strong feeling for her but is afraid to share that because he doesn’t want to get hurt.

Understandable. It’s funny though how he had no issue calling her his girlfriend in an earlier episode.

Most guys have said that in past bachelor seasons and I think everyone is confused. No one is boyfriend and girlfriend until it’s just the both of you. And even then while engaged, you’re still boyfriend and girlfriend. Think of how many couple did NOT make it to the altar after making fools of themselves on television.

1436812163_kaitlyn-ben-donkey-zoomDuring their date, while Ben is talking about his last relationships and the ideal relationship and how he feels, Kaitlyn started to wonder if Ben was a virgin and asked him straight forward, his response…..No.

Now that Ben seems to be in the clear (no roses yet), the group date has officially begun, Shawn, Nick and Joe all meeting up with Kaitlyn to talk to her one on one. Kaitlyn, off camera admits there are discussions that need to be had and Shawn is the first one to pull her way.

Notice, Shawn is super possessive. Still unaware that she had sexual relations with Nick earlier in the week or week before. He’s still insecure due to the fact she told him he was it and he got stuck on that one.

Ladies, if you and guy are dating and it’s not serious for you, yet…and you tell him he’s it, he will HARP on that shit forever.

Notice how different she is with Nick than she is with Shawn. She is giddy, she’s vulnerable, and she talks to him like she’s known him her whole life, or is it just the Nick effect? Who knows.

What I think is so stupid, it seems she’s a wasted Bachelorette. If she had such a connection with Nick before this show, why even bother going through all this nonsense. We could have had someone much more fun and entertaining with Kelsey from Farmer Chris season.

UGH watching her and Joe was extremely difficult. He was talking about how he was falling in love with Kaitlyn, he’s kissing her and oh so passionate. Although Kaitlyn is kissing him back, it’s clear these are not kisses she wants to be returning, let alone be in locked in some intimate embrace. Maybe Nick should have interrupted and should have waited till after Joe so he can comfort her.

joe-kaitlyn-kiss-bachelorette-w352It was painfully clear we were reaching an end with her and Joe and after the kissing, Kaitlyn discusses honesty and where he was coming from and where she’s coming from and feeling as they are not on the same page.

While I remain, sometimes being honest means saying, I know you said you fell in love with me, but I’m not feeling the same way. Her round about behavior only seemed to infuriate Joe who copped an attitude really quick. He said things like, “it’s cool, It’s been fun”, very cold and unfeeling.

Kaitlyn asked for a hug goodbye and while he did comply, you can tell her was reeling in anger. He turned and looked at her and asked her, “what do I do now” and Kaitlyn responds, “I just wanted to give you a hug goodbye”, for which Joe replies, “I don’t want to say shit to you right now.”

Had to be the word shit.

Wow where the fuck did that come from?

Talk about pissed. The cameras didn’t even follow him to get feedback. LMAO If I was a camera person, I wouldn’t follow him either.

When Kaitlyn comes back she decides not to give the rose out, telling Nick that she will see him at the rose ceremony and told Shawn they need more time to talk. Shawn thinking this is a special one on one time, little does he know the only reason why she wants to talk to him to tell him that she and Nick had sex. LOL What a dummy.

After some small talk and flirting, she admits she and Nick had sex on their date. Of course now the mood changes and Shawn knows exactly why she called him out for more time. This wasn’t just a regular date. He asked her if she regrets, and she said she felt guilt. Not the answer he wanted to hear I’m sure.
the bachelorette - kaitlyn tells shawn b about nick sex

Why should she regret anything she’s done? If she really didn’t want to have sex with Nick, she wouldn’t have asked him back to her room. But she knew what she wanted. Period. The End!

Shawn, had to take a moment and go to the men’s room probably to punch the sink LOL. (I had to post this pic I found online just too damn funny)

Nick, who’s back in the hotel room, is completely perplexed as to why she didn’t give out a rose. And while he’s complaining about what the fuck is going on, Jared looks like he’s ready to fall asleep, while Ben is assured he will be flying high in the next rose ceremony.

I guess the question would be, was it wise to tell Shawn about her escapade with she and Nick or picking Shawn at the end, and then telling him in private before the show aired.

When Shawn, finally comes out of the bathroom, he admits that he’s upset but he cannot be mad at her, and that it happened, but he loves her and he wants to be with her.

His “not being angry” becomes short lived.

Shawn enters the room and puts his mask on not letting anyone know what transpired on the date and Nick sitting there clueless of the conversation that took place.

The next day is the rose ceremony, Kaitlyn choose not to have any cocktail hour. Her mind has been made up, according to Chris Harrison, who informs them it’s time for the rose ceremony.

Now down to the wire, Shawn still has questions as to what he wants to do. He’s still upset over the fact that she and Nick were intimate together. After her endearing speech on how important these three roses are, she picks up the first rose and calls Shawn and asked him will he accept this rose, his response,

the-bachelorette-shawn-rose-ceremony“I need to talk to you”

The look on her face was absolutely priceless. There was fear and anger all at the same time.

Shawn is upset that it’s Nick she had sex with. If it were anyone else, I don’t think he would be as upset. Why him? He asked and why she would do that to jeopardize them. Really Shawn? Ya got a big head there my friend.

Kaitlyn tells Shawn she’s here to explore other relationships, because after she chooses one, she will never have that opportunity again. And what she said to him a few weeks ago, that he was it, she had no business saying that. I think she realizes when you put your foot in your mouth; you give someone that unrealistic expectation “things will proceed according to plan.”

Kaitlyn left off asking Shawn if he questions her trust, and we never see the answer. They come out of the room and back to the rose ceremony, once again asking Shawn if he will accept her rose.

“Absolutely”

The last two roses she hands out to Ben H. and then Nick, leaving Jared hurt.

Screen-shot-2015-07-07-at-8.37.32-PMJared the next bachelor? Wouldn’t be surprised. He’s a cutie, in a fishy sort of way.

If anyone who cried more saying goodbye was Kaitlyn while Jared was comforting her telling her it was okay.

Gosh that was so hard to watch. Admittedly I had my own waterworks going on watching him in the limo.

Hard….just touch. Broken hearts suck. He left with his head up high. I think the only one who didn’t leave with a grandiose attitude. Despite of me calling him a fish kisser, Jared is a person who deserves a great woman, clearly Kaitlyn is not that woman, for him.

Now that Jared is gone, Kaitlyn proceeds with her overnight dates, first with Nick.

It is very apparent that Nick and Kaitlyn have a very strong connection together. They traveled throughout and exploring Ireland. They stopped at a Cathedral Church, a bar and some kind of castle jail. It comes up during their date, Nick begins discussing someone who he doesn’t respect, and has insecurities and admits he’s talking about Shawn and his concerns over him.

The minute they get into this deep conversation, a storm begins to brew.

Coincidence?

Was Nick right in saying anything about Shawn? Or is it about jealous emotions like Kaitlyn stated.

After taking Nick to a prank fantasy suite, they head over to the real suite, where Nick expresses more of his love to her.

I know people are not Nick fans because he disclosed his intimacy with Andi and quite honestly I’m not sure what is the big deal. I said this before and I’ll say it again. The fantasy suite, they are fucking, if anyone thinks any different, you’re stupid.

The next day, Kaitlyn and Nick are eating breakfast looking like a natural couple. I can only imagine Shawn watching this. He looks like he has anger issues.

And not wanting to let go what Kaitlyn shared with him, he calls the hotel concierge to find out where Nick’s room to confront him as to why he’s there. All throughout the interviews, he would refer to him as, “the other guy”.

I don’t’ know if I saw this for myself, I wouldn’t go with Shawn. There are a lot of control issues there.

Their confrontation turns into an argument.

To be continued….

bachelorette-shawn-booth-and-nick-viall

#TheBachelorette Most Dramatic Season…so says @ChrisBHarrison Season 11 Episode 1

The Bachelorette Season 11 Episode 1

kaitlyn bacheloretteAs we venture into another dramatic season of the Bachelorette – the producers who had trouble picking between Kaitlyn and Britt decided to do a repeat of what they did with Byron Velvick and the “other guy” who didn’t get chosen to be the Bachelor way back when the Bachelor was in it’s early stages.

If you recall, later in that episode they bought two women back from the previous season one of the being Mary Delgado. Everyone was rooting for them even though the women that were already vying for his love early on were furious that two women came in with Byron having lost interest in them and pursued Mary.

Unfortunately, the great love of Mary and Byron was all lost when Mary appeared in the news, having been arrested for abusing Byron.

Probably THE MOST DRAMATIC after the final rose yet. We all know Chris Harrison, everything is the most dramatic.

Hello!!! Anyone that’s watching this, the idea of the show is supposed to be dramatic.

So here we are with two Bachelorettes, (BTW I cheated months ago and already knew who the Bachelorette was going to be). Without delaying it, Kaitlyn became the next Bachelorette and my first initial thought was, “ugh another Jen Scheft boring season.” But after seeing the previews and Nick V. making out with Kaitlyn and the heavy breathing, I quickly changed my mind. I felt like

Before the women met the men, we had a chance to see the edited version of the men they chose to spotlight on.

One of them was Jonathon who he works in the automotive industry from Detroit who was interested in Britt and he has a child. Really? I mean come on. Britt is a free spirited woman. I cannot see her tied down, living in Detroit taking care of someone else’s kid. Next….

Joe from Kentucky, (small town once again), expressed interest in Kaitlyn. I think after the whole Farmer Chris thing, we’re done with farming.

Josh, who lives in Chicago and studying for the bar exam, has an interesting job to pay the bills as a male dancer. He doesn’t look that tall, however, the little bit of clip they showed stripping, looks like the third leg has a stand of its own. Oh he didn’t express in any bachelorette in particular.

Brady, from Nashville and a musician expressed a big interest with Britt.

The small town country boy, Joshua, from Idaho (another farmer in the middle of nowhere), would like to see Kaitlyn as the next Bachelorette.

Ian from Venice Beach, is an Executive Recruiter and he’s a runner. He shared he was hit by a car and essentially left for dead. Through surgeries and therapy, he was able to run again. With no ifs, ands or but’s, his pick would be Kaityln.

Nerdy but cuite, Jared from Rhode Island and superhero, “Love Man”, has very strong interest in Kaitlyn.

Meditative and Healer, Tony, who’s soft spoken and has a relationship with his plants, ready for love with Britt. I’m not sure where they found this guy but he reminds me of the male version of Ashley, really loopy and doesn’t make any sense.

Ben Z., sports player, already disclosed his mother’s passing at the age of 14. I’m sure we will be hearing a lot about his mom throughout the season. He was also open to the opportunity for both Britt and Kaitlyn.

As each man came out of the limo and introduced themselves, the ones that were interested in Britt went to her first and then greeted Kaitlyn like she was secondary. What was funny is that Jared who had so much interested in Kaitlyn, came out of the limo and went running to Britt first. Even as each man went inside the mansion they were all rooting for Britt, oh so it seemed. It was funny on how many people were into Britt, and I’m not sure how people were taken by Kaitlyn.

Of course one of the most memorable entrances out of the limo was Josh…he didn’t have to say a thing LOL.

Shawn who came out of the limo practically sweeping Britt off her feet, actually was there for Kaitlyn. A perfect example of how deceptive men can be.

Speaking of deception, Kaitlyn decides to run into the mansion to say hi to the guys, which probably garnered her some votes.

Tony who finally met Britt and spoke this romantic poetry walks over to Kaitlyn and tells her the same thing to Britt that he said to Kaitlyn. He believes in love and he hopes the Universe provides….*barf*

Before the ladies got to the guys to get to know them, Ryan was already plastered and acting like a fucking idiot. Is he going to do another Jordan and come back and apologize for being a drunken idiot? Next….

I don’t want to get into the semantics of gifts, etc but after the intros and it came down to the wire when the men realized that they had to vote who was going to be the next Bachelorette is when the game began and all the men started inquiring who was going to vote for whom.

Many of the men that came out of the limo went to Britt first. She seemed to have a big following of men but then some of them who spoke to Kaitlyn started to change their minds about who they really wanted to get to know.

The yoga guy who was into Britt in the beginning and then said later he was here for Kaitlyn, put his hands on the voting box and said Britt’s box was pulsating. I’m confused. I thought he was there for Britt from the get go….

Seems hid deep connection with Britt didn’t hold weight since he didn’t have a problem accepting a rose from Kaitlyn.

The nerdy guy who’s a restaurant manager did the same thing. He was back and forth between Kaitlyn and Britt but I think in the end he chose Kaitlyn.

The highlight of the evening was Ryan M. who decided getting wasted and acting like an ass was going to get him far. Enter the new character in the Bachelor camp fetches Ryan to tell him that Chris Harrison would like to speak to him. We all know where this was going. In short, bye bye Ryan M. Chris Harrison sent him packing in a van LOL.

The stragglers left who hadn’t voted, Britt and Kaitlyn spent talking with them. It was clear from the beginning that Brady was not budging from Britt. Not within the least. He came there with the intention of being with Britt and he proved that in the rose ceremony when he pulled Kaitlyn aside and told her that his heart was with Britt and not with her and he needed to respond to that.

When Chris Harrison did finalize that the votes were in….to be continued.

Kaitlyn-Bristowe-and-Britt-Nilsson-Portraits

My Final Thoughts #TheBachelor #FarmerChris E-I-E-I-O @c_soules

Why Chris Soules picked the Producers Choice

While Bachelor Nation is brain washed into believing that The Bachelor/Bachelorette final picks are real, there are a small portion of us and probably includes Reality Steve who aren’t buying into the Bachelor love story so easily.

Anyone who has watched Season 19 intently wondered why Chris sent Britt packing, kept Carly all of this time, got rid of Kimberly after giving her a chance in the first episode and who seemed like a good potential of someone that Chris can really get to know, got rid of Samantha over Kelsey, the list goes on. Most importantly, choosing pushy Whitney over Becca, who seemed to have the most potential in a long lasting relationship and Becca who seems to have a good head on her shoulders was right in keeping the pace in what a relationship should be instead of rushing things.

Chris Soules was one of the final four from the Andi season. One of the most popular bachelors and I use that term loosely as we can only go by what Chris Harrison is being told to say on these shows, like “hashtag” BachelorNation.

Of course you can’t fault the marketing department, after all, they are just doing their job like any other company has the right to do so, however, why I don’t believe that Chris made the right choice is broken down as so:

carly and chrisCarly and Chris

From the moment that Carly stepped out of that limo with the karaoke machine was a sign that Chris should have sent her packing. Even when she went on further to talk about investing two years in a relationship with a man that did not touch her was a clear sign Carly had a lot to sort through. Forget Juelia who was bawling over the suicide of her husband, an obvious sign that Juelia was not ready to be in a relationship but Carly? Really? I mean what woman stays in a relationship with a man who refuses to be intimate with her. This creates all sorts of low self-esteem issues that would need to be resolved before moving on to another relationship. As the season droned on, the true colors of Carly emerged when she realized Britt had a better relationship with Chris than she did (I mean forget everyone else who had a better relationship with Chris too). If she had pulled the veil from her eyes, she would have seen she and Chris really didn’t have anything but a great friendship.

getty image chris and kimberlyKimberly and Chris

While Kimberly and Chris didn’t last but an episode, I had to include her as I felt some type of empathy there for her. Here is a woman, self-employed, a yoga teacher, spiritual, living in NYC and ready to make a move with her life and her love life. She was beautiful and well put together. So why didn’t Chris keep her? Simple. Why keep a woman that’s put together. #ProducersCut

bachelor-britt-week-6Britt and Chris

For a while during the episode, Britt looked like the clear cut winner. Even during group dates while not garnering the rose all the time, she did get the first rose, the first kiss and the episode when Chris whisked her away to the Big and Rich show was enough to put Britt on the hate list but enough for the audience watching to think, this was it. Chris found love and he found it with Britt. It didn’t end there when Carly realizing she’s watching love bloom and it wasn’t with her but with Britt decided to feed into a childlike tantrum and tell Chris that Britt is not really that into him and she lied about wanting to live in Arlington. Not a nice thing to do especially when it comes to game of love. I don’t know anyone with common sense that would want to be with anyone by deception instead of just having the person be with you because they want to. And look, you gotta have a lot of balls to want to live in a town filled with nothing but farm land. Tell me how many people want to make that type of move? You can’t fault people for that. But you can be truthful and say, I love you but I’m not sure about this life but I’m willing to give it a chance.

While there’s still a part of me that feels Britt was trying to, as they say in Real Housewives of Atlanta, she may have been on the ‘come up’, I really believe that outside of the farm life, Britt would have been the idea wife because she bought another side to Chris that he probably never realized he had inside himself, to have fun and enjoy life.

jade and chris

Jade and Chris

While Chris’ sister’s thought that Jade was the ideal woman for Chris, I just didn’t see the connection. Had she told Chris in episode 2 or 3 that she was hottie nudie in Playboy he definitely wouldn’t have given her the rose and maybe keep Kelsey. LOL – Jade reminded me of Jen Scheft, a bit boring. Jen was chosen by Andrew Firestone and while that relationship lasted but a hot minute, he ended up marrying a woman that was similar to Jen Scheft. LOL

 

bachelor-becca

Becca and Chris

Chris definitely let an opportunity of love and stability go when he choose Whitney over Becca. Becca had common sense; there wasn’t urgency for love and marriage. She’s preserved her virginity for someone who’s deserving of it and I totally get that. Relationships are tough, being with someone and making all sorts of compromises isn’t easy. Chris is not an old man and clearly having a relationship with Becca would have bought upon a foundation that not many have when seeking love in reality television. Sure she didn’t have that pushy attitude like Whitney did, desperate to be in a relationship, rushing to have children to fit into a timeline of what women think life should be. She tied in with his family very well and father knows best when he said that Chris really wanted Becca. Love is a funny thing. Becca seems more reserved and careful with her choices and while that may have cost her a relationship with Chris, I liked how she handled herself in the women tell all. She didn’t fall apart even though she was hurt. Clearly Becca knows Chris isn’t the last man on earth and I’m sure she will find someone worthy of her.

chris-soules-and-whitney-bischoffWhitney and Chris

Where do I begin? I didn’t like Whitney from the start for a variety of reasons. Pushy, desperate, annoying chatty voice, telling people what they want to hear, etc. etc.

What woman does that? A woman solely in interested in herself and no one else.

Any woman with self-esteem knows what she wants without forcing any relationship. Why didn’t she leave an impression with Chris’ sisters the first time around? Yet here she was as the final two and boy were his sister’s singing a different tune. Whitney gave them everything they wanted to hear. She was the lead singer, the choir and the back up singer.

It’s relationships like that that make me question when seeking love what does the ideal wife look like in America’s eyes?  Does she look like Whitney? Career minded, super charged and self-absorbed. Does she go around acting like the bell of the ball?

It seemed to Chris’ family based Whitney she as the guaranteed relationship” because Becca held back and wanted to build something before saying “I do”.

Hello? Doesn’t every one do that?

“Hi, nice to meet you, let’s get married” (wait that’s another show but they’re completely different)

(BTW notice this smirk pictures of Whitney when Chris escorted Kaitlyn out. What does that tell you? A woman definitely just as cattie as Carly. No different just in a sneaky way.)

whitney-smirking

whitney-smirking2

whitney-smirking3

What the fuck is that all about? There’s a time and a place for every step of love. I truly believe that. And while Becca wanted to take her time, what did Whitney say when Chris Harrison asked her is she moving to Arlington. Did you catch that pause on how they are just taking it slow…. #contradiction – Was it because the family was so gun-ho that he put a ring on it. UGH! AND in #BachelorNation it’s all about the ratings. Hurry up and get married and make us look good.

I wonder how much longer does this show have to be on the air. I mean will it surpass my life? Is this the new way to meet people?

Furthermore, why does society frown upon someone like Britt but found Jillian to be acceptable? Britt is gorgeous and with that type of natural beauty that I believe people will envy (yes I do think that Britt is beautiful). People are such haters. They make you feel like you don’t deserve better because of it. #Jealousy

What about the career women? Does a career make or break the reputation of a woman? Will a man choose a woman who’s not as career minded out of fear that she won’t be there to take care of him?

As the owner of an Adult publication and working with people in the Adult sector, I have to tell you from early on, men who I was remotely interested would send me pictures of their ass and dick thinking this is what I am looking for. When I tell them (in my most kind voice), “look we’re not on the same page”, then I would be called uptight.

WTF? OH I’m sorry am I supposed to be a slut because I own a sex magazine? Who’s the close minded asshole?

Look, a person’s career should not define who they choose to love and HOW they choose to love that person. Anyone who works in the Adult sector are not just looking for sex [in their personal life] unless that’s exactly what they want and made it a point to say, yes I’m looking for sex and that’s it.

There’s not much common sense left in the world. Sad but true.

As for my final note on Chris Soules, I don’t believe this relationship with Whitney will last. It will go down in #BachelorNation history as a good season of crazy women, faux panic attacks, booty shorts, virgins, women who don’t shower, and a man who lives on a farm.

E-I-E-I-O

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,
MB~

The Bachelor @C_Soules Hometown Dates – Bye Britt :-( AND Carly (YAY)

021615-bachelorbecca1stdateContinuing from last weeks episode, Chris has a one on one date with Becca who I believe he will wind up with in the end. She still has not told Chris that she is a virgin and has never been intimate with any man whatsoever. She tells Chris that she was in a relationship that was on and off but that she had never been in love with him or in love with anyone else for that matter which seems to take Chris aback. Fear perhaps? This is a grown woman who has never felt love for any man. (Three cheers for Becca for not falling for BS and standing her ground.) Back at the hotel,

Britt sits with the girls and ask them what they’re chatting about and Whitney says that they’re talking about Becca and what could be going on on their date and about last night which clearly was not the starring role for Britt. Britt confesses to the girls that she believes in her heart that she is going home and that she’s not going to get a rose so she packed up her things in preparation to leave however if there is a chance that Chris will choose her then she will stay.

That leaves Carly asking a bunch of questions and making sarcastic and antagonizing statements which only upsets Britt even more because Carly feels if Britt is not in the picture that will put her one level up which I don’t believe it will. The evening has dawned upon them for the rose ceremony.

Chris Harrison comes into the room and tells the ladies that there will be no cocktail hour and will go straight to the rose ceremony. Britt has already packed up her things with the intention of telling Chris that she has no plans on staying feeling as though because he gave Kaitlyn the rose after she had put her heart out there. Feeling as though is he worthy of meeting her family coupled with her heart may not be in the right place, she stops the rose ceremony and asks Chris if she can talk to him.

Even though she knows that having put her foot in her mouth, I can understand why she did what she did. What is the point of standing around in a rose ceremony knowing that you’re not going to get a rose when you just might as will say goodbye and get it over with. I think Kaitlyn is an idiot for even making a statement that she made that Britt should just grin and bear it. Why? Perhaps this is the closure Britt wants so she can leave.

I’m surprised even Kaitlyn made it this far also. During their private time while Britt and Chris were talking over each other and nobody was really listening to each other instead of Britt just telling Chris that it was not going to work out for either of them, they come a silence.

43-bachelor-week-7bAnd in that silence it is mutual  that this relationship is over and he walks her out leaving her hysterical crying. All the other girls seem to be empathizing except for Carly, who’s smiling and gloating at Britt’s pain. Chris now heads back to the ladies for the rose ceremony before hometown dates and the ladies that are left standing are Becca, Carly, Whitney, Kaitlyn and Jade.

Before he hands out the roses, he makes a statement that he wants to thank those who have addressed that Britt was being a phony. Huh? If that is the case why did he spend so much time with her and even taking her away from the other ladies to the big and Rich concert for which they were gone for more than an hour while he left all of them waiting and gave Britt a rose that night. Why did he just say earlier in the episode that she was the one he can see being married and having children? Talk about can conflict.

The roses were disbursed as following: Whitney Becca Jade BWAAhAaaaHa. And Carly? Kicked to the curb. Just as she should have been from the moment she came out of the limo with her toy. Continuing on with the episode the first hometown date he has is with Becca who is extremely excited to see him and excited to meet her family as well as she is excited to have him meet her family.

Here are some pictures I took from my television of Carly in the limo clueless as to why Chris let her go. The part of “what’s wrong with me I always end up in the same exact place” got me…what is wrong with her? Where do I begin? Her nasty attitude, the lies she made up to make herself look good, the green eyed monster. Who would want to see her as the next Bachelorette, raise your hands? I thought so. As a woman no one likes to be around nasty, jealous women who will throw them under the bus at the first chance they act upon their insecurity.

pathetic carly2 pathetic carly3 carly pathetic1Speaking of throwing people under the bus, hometown dates are strange because family members will say things that will also throw that person under the bus and ruin potential relationships with the bachelor or bachelorette. Becca’s sister pulls Chris’s side (you know that “private” chat) to tell him that Becca has never been intimate with a guy as far as holding hands or being affectionate and that she had seen them holding hands and she didn’t pull away which was a first. After having a conversation with her mom I don’t think that Chris is deterred from how he feels towards Becca.

Their date ends on a ferris wheel right before he tells her,  “I’m going to take you home with me”. I don’t know if that meant the ferris wheel ride or Arlington. Understand my confusion as he just mentioned the day before how he wanted to ride under the sunset with Britt. On his hometown date with Whitney it was all about her and her career and herself and how fabulous she is.

I guess it’s okay to toot your own horn except when your desperate.  I think shows should show a red flag for Chris because why would she leave that life? Nope! Why would he see that? On their way to meet her family he says he wants to be able to talk to someone to get their blessing I don’t know why he told her that because I don’t believe that he will choose Whitney in the end. At the same time…wow.

Was a choice made already? He eventually asked Whitney’s sister for her blessing and she was very forward and telling him that until she is the last girl standing he should wait to ask that question. She will not give her blessing otherwise. Good point. Despite the situation that is created around the bachelor I don’t believe that Whitney has fallen in love with Chris.

I think it’s just the surroundings and the circumstances where you have a bunch of women pursuing one man that makes one believe that they are in love with them without having them live the realities of life outside of the cameras. But Whitney loves the cameras.

On the hometown date with Kaitlyn she meets him from what looks like a seedy part of Phoenix, Arizona but it was actually a place where there’s a studio and they decided to record a rap song which was pretty bad. I’m not sure who comes up with these strange date ideas. While the family settings seem to the usual boring scene, after dinner Kaitlyn takes Chris to an advertising street sign where she placed Kaitlyn loves Chris.

Which I think is pretty awesome nice way to tell somebody that you love them not that it’s never been done before. An advertisement sign that overlooks the whole street is a big deal. On his hometown date with Jade in Gering, Nebraska, while everything seems to be going fine on the outside, Jade still has concerns because she had pose nude for Playboy and still has not told Chris.

Chris makes inquiries through her family members about Jade and they’re all pretty much saying the same thing. They all seem to express concern that Jade is not ready to settle down, she’s a wild girl, etc. it’s stuff like that that maybe your family should not be sharing with a potential life partner. When Jade took him back to, I’m gathering, her hotel room where she was staying while in Nebraska, she shared with him her secret about posing for Playboy and while Chris seem to have taken it in stride I knew that was the last nail that locked the coffin and the rose ceremony proved it. Was anyone surprised?

I was surprised that, she too, lasted for as long as she did. I believe the only reason why she had surpassed rose ceremony after rose ceremony was because his sisters had chosen her for his one on one, probably thinking they see something he hasn’t seen in her.

Look, if your dick doesn’t get hard and your pussy doesn’t get wet, that should be enough to tell you they ain’t the one. While he made it a point to tell her that his decision was not based on what she told him but more based on the relationships that he has developed with the other women, begs the question how much of a relationship does he really have with Becca?

While I believe Becca is the ideal woman for him, how long did it take for him to establish a relationship with her. In the whole spectrum of looking at the last four ceremonies he has had more of a connection with Britt than any other girl including Whitney.

I really felt for Jade but again I cannot see her settling down on some farm with Chris.

All in all this episode was extremely boring. The hometown dates were just the usual family gatherings with a family member pulling Chris’s side saying  “let’s have some one-on-one time”.

Bye Jade. We all saw that one coming. Really? Could you see her family looking at her with the same eyes the day they were all in Arlington knowing that she was naked in a magazine. People are so hard up. If Chris had real feelings for her and tossed them aside for the sake of conservative modesty, he made a big mistake. Oh did you notice those tears that Chris shed when he said goodbye to Jade. I didn’t see him cry for anyone like that.

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

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