The Fine Line of Paranoia vs. Reality

Ever sit with yourself and ponder about a situation you want to overcome?

You divide the pros and cons. The pros look outstanding but…your paranoia tells you different.

Or?

Is it reality?

What is the part of yourself do you listen to the most?

Your heart or your head?

When does the thought become so confusing you can’t tell which one from the other?

Am I over thinking it?

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Kink~E Magazine – Fourteen Years In the Making….

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I can’t believe how much time has passed.

If you ask me back then in 2000 after my break up and finding myself in how to exist in this world, “would you ever imagined owning a popular magazine where you would feature and interview people in the entertainment industry?” – I would have simply answered, “Nope”.

To understand who I was in 2000, I started writing my autobiography several years ago and has been a pain staking process. It’s not fun to have to relive certain shit but in the matter of helping someone else is part of the reason why I’m writing my book. In the interim, I’m also in the midst of writing several erotica books, including three self help books.

“To write about pain is to understand where that pain stems from.” (From “How I View the World with Me In It”, author, Marabelle Blue ©2016).

It’s not an easy feat to contend with because as humans we are so used to blaming the other person or circumstances for our choices. I’ve seen it happen and I myself have privy to that type of behavior.

I couldn’t see all of this when I started my magazine. All I saw was a group of people who lived (including myself) in an Alternative world that didn’t have a place to share their voice. Sure we have other types of periodicals where alternative voices were heard, but that seemed to slowly die out once people became aware of this thing called the Internet.

Through blogging my own personal journeys, I did two years of research and spoke with many different people from local NYC underground communities.

At first I wanted the magazine to be this dark place, almost like a dungeon, where fetish became alive and the voices behind the fetish underground were free to speak and share why they enjoyed this lifestyle.

While the magazine was making it’s rounds online, I remember attending a party at Mother with Master Steelow, my real first exposure of seeing the BDSM lifestyle at work (trust you won’t find it in 50 Shades) and talking to him about the magazine, but at the time it was so new, I don’t think he took me seriously. At least that was the way I took it.

The first few years was rough. I was learning how to maintain a website, let alone create one from scratch and decipher the content. The magazine went through phases, what worked and what didn’t work. When Myspace rolled along, this was my starting point of using social media and getting people to read the magazine which was great and good exposure to not only reach those within the U.S. but also outside of the United States.

People began referring to me as Miss Kink but I wanted something more relevant, a personality which was true to my reflection. Being I was calling myself  Marabelle Blue, I decided to the name and market myself myself an individual who was also part of Kink~E Magazine.

One of the things I learned about social media and exposing yourself to the public is someone coming along thinking they can snatch your shit and make it better. That’s when the evil old lady from Australia came in and plagiarized my magazine. After going through the proper channels on how to address her bullshit the battle ended with one winner. Did she really think she was going to win?

Here’s the deal, when you create something, people will always come in and try to mimic you and ride your band wagon. It happens every time to everyone. One of the most important things I’ve learned within the social media spectrum, don’t brag and don’t expose your shit until it’s good and ready. Sure we all want to brag and there’s nothing wrong with healthy sharing about your progress and confidence, however, yet another when you spend all day tweeting or facebooking on how fabulous you are. The only ones who are the ones who don’t feel good about themselves. It becomes cult like after a while.

Over time with the good things and the not so good things, Kink~E Magazine finally found a place in people’s lives and hearts and that has to do with many of the writers who have come and joined the fold realizing this was a place to share thoughts, opinions and/or grievances. A place where we feature people in the entertainment industry in the sincerest of light and not just making sex the number one topic.

Behind the life of every performer is a sincere, empathetic person who loves what they do and isn’t afraid to show it.  Behind every authors are people who share their most intimate thoughts in story telling and behind every opinion is a person who stands strong in their plight.

The internet has grown a lot. And with that growth, we all continue to keep KinkE on top with interesting notes and topics, discussing current issues and trends.

I still keep up with my good Kink’s Korner (remember how Charlie Sheen copied me with Sheen’s Corner), discussing relationships and life in NYC.

A lot will change within Kink~E Magazine, all good things. I won’t disclose yet what those changes are (we still have the copy haters watching), but I will say this, this past year has been the best. I enjoyed every issue and what we feature to you.

For all the times I wanted to give up, I would get an email from someone telling me how much they enjoyed reading the articles in the magazine, how much they found they weren’t alone in what they were feeling, there was no way I would give this up.

When BBW came along, we found a whole new audience lovers of Big Beautiful woman. Thank you @theKimmieKaboom for the enticing interviews she brings.

Thanks to my girl Dr. Sue (@DoctorSue) and her expert field in cuckolding (among other topics) and Christine who has been hitting the hardcore topics of hate in America and just America itself. And for Dirk who keeps the fetish articles alive in offering advice and tips in how to play it safe.

To all the past writers who have shared their thoughts and advice on topics we seem to discuss behind closed doors when it shouldn’t be that way.

Most importantly I need to thank every person who has contributed and supported Kink~E Magazine for all of these years.

We stand united in our alternative beliefs and lifestyle. This isn’t just about sex or porn or fetish life and gender roles, this is about life and respecting each other’s values and belief system whatever that may be and for as long as you’re not hurting anyone deliberately. (I need to make that clear.)

There is not one person living who is a “God” who can tell us who to love or not to love, how to have sex and why certain behaviors are “wrong”, that’s just unrealistic.

With that being said, Happy Birthday to Kink~E Magazine and thank you to each and every person who continues to support us.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

Check out KEM TopTalk latest shows

www.kemtoptalk.com and follow us on www.blogtalkradio.com/kinkemagazine

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You Don’t Want to Work Here

Is anyone looking for a job?

Have you noticed how searching for jobs has changed? First off, let me say happy birthday to the World Wide Web, you’re 25 years old.

Damn I’m old.

I remember when my friends and I would look for jobs, we would be so excited waiting for Wednesday’s NY Times when they would post all the administrative job openings.

Times have truly changed.

Recently, someone shared an interesting story with me regarding their work experience and the bullying they encountered with a person who came on board in a Director position with no experience and decided she would her, a person with years of experience and a clean record.

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After enduring three months of horror she was let go and eventually found another job.

But what are the long term affects?

This isn’t just about bullying but how corporate America has changed within the job spectrum. People are working longer hours and not being properly compensated. Every day someone is working under the guise they will lose their jobs. For sales people, unrealistic quotas are implemented to make it easy to let go of people when they become a target.

Unrealistic rules has taken away moral in the work place. One good example is a half hour lunch. So basically, you’re asking someone to come to work at 8 in the morning stay till 6pm and a half hour to scarf down your food.

What kind of a bullshit is that?

Then to endure the middle of the day working for people who are half your age who someone acquired a managerial position but don’t know how to wipe their ass properly.

The work place has changed tremendously and not for the better. And this isn’t just me saying this, take the time out and do your research.

How many of you are perusing through jobs and read the reviews before applying?

This is the new age. The age of reviews of the work place in an anonymous manner for as long as you’re not too descriptive of who you are, you can basically say whatever you want about a current or previous employment.

Because of this one story, I started compiling horror stories from people in different work environments and the suffering endured on a day to day basis from the place they called work, simply titled “You Don’t Want To Work Here”.

As if I’m not writing enough books, when something captures my attention it must be written.

Look out for this book in late 2017.

Note: All information in this blog is copy written and not to be shared on your blog or any books as your own information. In other words, don’t steal my words and my work.

Thanks!

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

©2016 You Don’t Want To Work Here

 

 

 

Adventures at the Zoo – Rethink Your Parenting Skills

So I’m going to say this and keep it as short and sweet as I can because this is just outrages.

When I was a little girl, my parents took me to the Bronx Zoo, as a matter of fact they took me the zoo quite often. It was almost as if we went a couple of times a month (probably not but it felt that way).

Now think, times were different when I was a little girl. I don’t think society was as evil as it was back in the seventies but also there wasn’t an internet so having the internet keeps evil shit in our face.

This whole thing with the kid “falling” into the gorilla den and having the gorilla killed because of it, the parents should be held fully accountable. How stupid are these parents they didn’t see their child fall?

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Hello, the kid is 3 years old!!!! What the fuck? Do you not have a stroller they can sit in when they get tired of walking? What kind fucking parent are you?

There is nothing that pisses me off when an animal is killed because of mindless stupid ass parents who act like their child is ready to venture out and explore life at a year old.

Why do people become parents? Why do they decide to have children? Ask yourself?

I’m not a mother but I’m also not stupid. I think I have enough common sense to know if there’s a place where my child may not be safe, why let them roam around?

My parents have footage of me at the zoo and guess what? There was a STROLLER my mom pushed around when I decided to get cranky and tired of walking.

I don’t know if it’s me or people who are becoming parents of the 21st century are just god damn stupid.

Just last week I’m on 34th Street crossing the street from Macy’s going towards 8th avenue when the couple in front of me has two babies, one in a carriage and one in a stroller. Asshole man, doesn’t have his baby tied up, missed lifting the stroller on to the sidewalk and where is the kid? Flat out on the floor. SMH.

I don’t know people…ya’ll better get it together if you’re going to take care of another human being. I mean if you can’t take care of yourself, maybe you should rethink about becoming a parent.

It’s the same way when people wanted these manufactured mini dogs to carry around in their purse. Guess what? You have to take care of them too!

Do I think the parents should be charged? Absolutely.

There’s my rant, take it or leave it. I can care less. LOL.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

The Jesus Rant

religious-fanatic-1024x571Here we go.

Time for a rant.

I’m confused. Someone clarify. I’m being serious.

You’re a bible thumper. You decent the words of the “scripture” or what you believe to be and yet you sit there and judge others, their choices and how they live.

Jesus is supposed to be God but then he’s the son of God???? Then he dies, comes back from the dead, people say, “he is risen” while others call him Zombie.

There are people who spend time dissecting the bible for the sole purpose to discredit what is in there.

I honestly don’t have time for that but I will say this, I’m not a believer. I will always respect my grandmother in her beliefs when I speak with her other than that, don’t expect me to open the door to Jehovah Witnesses any time soon unless they want me to break out my witches bible which I have done before. It was funny to see them run the other way.

The one thing about me is my beliefs are personal and private. What I do in my own home is my business and my business alone. It’s not my authority to go and spread the “word” of my beliefs and my convictions.

The other day I had the displeasure of listening to two women talk about their bible courses. The same women who sit all day long doing absolutely no work and gossip. Not for nothing but I think gossiping is far worse than sitting there and judging a person. People make money off from gossiping (The Star Magazine, Us Weekly, to name a few).

This to me these people the worst of humanity (yeah I’m judging). These are the same people who hate animals. But yet they love Jesus. Really? Do you think Jesus went off kicking a dog or eating a cat because he got hungry. Love man kind but look at this child being taught, “God hates fags, but yet he’s ever loving of all man.” #Contradiction – Great way to raise your child ain’t it. SMH.

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I grew up Catholic. I was the family member who lived in the church, I sang in the choir and taught religion instruction. True story.

But then one day, something happened. I had questions, a lot of questions. Why were we born sinners? Why were we not worthy of God? Why was Jesus exactly killed? Why did the Catholics have a white Jesus and the Baptist version had him a tad bit darker?

Guess what? Yep. No one had an answer.

As I grew up and discovered the world around me, I began my journey in other religions and spiritual faiths. I stopped believing in the Jesus concept when I was 16 years old. Quite a long time for anyone to try and convince me otherwise. Which leads to someone recently who tried and told me I couldn’t just banter back and forth if I had a friend who believed in Jesus and she prayed for me. I had to go with one or the other.

“Really”, I said, “and who made up this rule?”

People who are real accept their defects and remember they are human with human emotions. Things happen in their lives because they make it happen. They’re not waiting for a God to make it happen. That’s like frying an egg on a hot summer day. Chances are the shit won’t fry.

e15a6467182c8b0596e6b2b70e24a47cThe flip side to these type of religious fanatics is they don’t know how to live and let live. So what if you have haters, so what if this person thinks they are better. So what? Do they pay your rent? Nope. Not a damn dime. But they want to sit there and infiltrate on your life with religious bullshit about being saved. Saved from what?

In my experience, people who are on a religious zeal will be your friend only to convert you and when you do or say something they don’t agree with, they cut you off because you’re evil and they can’t be influenced to the “dark side”.

The funny thing is, they are on the dark side. They are doing exactly what evil suggest. Gossipy, whiny and judgmental. Guess we all know where you’re going. LOL!

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Until then.

Take care of you!

Marabelle Blue~

What’s Real and What’s Not…

The week of November 16, minding my business, getting off the train to head home, I noticed someone from the corner of my eye as I walked down the stairs and they walking beside me. Now the first thought is, “who the fuck is this person”, then he speaks…

“boy does that chicken smell good.”

There’s a restaurant up the street from the train station and I will say this, if the chicken is more than a day old, and they’re cooking it, it smells pretty bad.

The conversation leads to me saying the food didn’t smell good and I can make better chicken than they can. I thought that was the end, until he walked with me to my destination.

Okay, aggressive maybe?

Approaching the ninety nine cents store, I tell him, “well I have to go in here” and he asked me for my number.

I asked him to give me his and I promised I would call him back.

“What’s your name?”, he asked.

“My name is Marabelle.”

Well I wasn’t going to tell him my birth name. LOL.

Needless to say, I did give him my number. My business number. And then the calls started maybe a two days later. I didn’t feel we had much in common. But after a few text exchanges and a few calls in between, he surprised me last Saturday meeting me at the very same area we first started talking and took to the diner where we spent about four more maybe a bit more hours talking about everything.

Then my view changed.

Wow, this guy is smart and we do have a lot in common.

But…(you know there’s always that damn ‘but’), due to privacy issues, I changed my phone number on my ‘whatsapp’ to my business number, not realizing anyone who had the app and my business number will pop up a notification like, “hey your friend just joined whatsapp” – the same number I gave to this guy, who looks at my profile pic, watermarked, “Property of Kink~E Magazine”.

I have struggled for many years with men who thought that me owning a sex magazine made me available for sex, or that I was some kind of freak fucking different guys every night. Or how can I be such a prude and own a sex magazine.

Umm well, people are dirty and disgusting and I don’t open my legs to anyone unless they are fucking worth it. And oh, my fetish life isn’t practiced with some fly by night asshole that doesn’t know what he’s doing.

The men I meet get it very twisted and very confused as to who I am, what I do, what is the purpose of the magazine and why I do it.

The mission statement on www.kinkemagazine.com is very clear and anyone who reads it knows exactly what my magazine is about, what my writers do and what we talk about. Most importantly, why it’s so important to educated people living or exploring alternative lifestyles.

Well now upon knowing this info he had on hand, I told him what I do, I’m a writer, I own a magazine and I have different writer who discuss different aspects of adult entertainment and alternative lifestyle and he seemed cool with it.

After our endless hours of talking, it was time for me to go home and get rest and figuring I would hear from him the next day, I did not.

Okay what the fuck is going on here. You like someone (remember we are not 25, I don’t have time for stupid mind games), you’re not going to waste time or say, “well, duh, gee, I’ll contact her three days from now. By then I would have lost interest.

Bothered by the fact he didn’t make much of an effort, but texting here and there, I said something and it seemed to wake up the senses and led to another all night conversation.

Now my head space is, “yeah I’m feeling this guy, we can hang out get to know each other.”

Today, not so much. Inconsistent. Not making much of an effort BUT definitely made an effort in exposing exactly what he wanted to do me, desires of feasting on certain parts of my body…(use your imagination, ya’ll know what I’m talking about).

Yeah…no, I wasn’t feeling it.

I go out with you ONE time and one week later you’re talking about eating me out. It’s one thing to flirt, yet another when you’re just horn dog asking for sex when I barely even know the guy.

No thank you.

Does he not think I’m already getting emails like that from someone who’s been chasing me since 2000. And OH what about the guy I connect with periodically. While he’s busy playing mind games, someone else (someone I know) texting me at the same time, asking when I’m coming over.

A friend with benefit understanding only works with me for ONE person. I don’t need an extra person for that especially if they are telling me how REAL they are, when in essence are just full of shit.

I have been “around the block” enough to know all the stories guys play just to get a girl into bed, instead of just being forthright in saying, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now, however, I would like a partner I can be intimate with and have fun.”

Last time I checked, there’s nothing wrong with that level of honesty, but that’s just me. Some women may find the whole statement repulsive and that’s okay too.

Look I’m not here to judge, far from it. But when you come in with lies about me being in your heart and saying all of these romantic things just to get me in bed, is where I lose all respect for a person who’s flat out lying.

After addressing said issue, not only does he block me on twitter (why I don’t know he’s not worth reading any tweets he puts out), he blocks my number on his phone (after last Saturday when he tells me I gave him my “heartline” after I gave him my personal cell number).

If these are the actions of a person who claims they are telling the truth, guess what…you’re not.

Liars will not defend their actions once they’ve been found out. If anything they run the other way to ensure their integrity is not found out by others so they can pull the same game on someone else who will buy the lie.

While no one knows who I’m talking about, the last thing I would do it tag him on tweets like an immature child and accuse him of being a liar. Sure I will say certain things, but I won’t tag a name on to it.

He could have taken a different approach had he been telling the TRUTH, maybe by picking up the phone and calling and defending himself.

Being truthful is painful, whether you’re on the receiving end of it or not, hearing it for yourself when the words are departing from your lips can be painful.

After tonight, I was hurt and disappointed because I really wanted him to be for real in everything he was saying, but in the back of my mind, something said, there’s something not right.

I have learned to follow my intuition instead of following my heart.

Sad when you can’t follow your heart.

I text a friend of mine and told her what barely began has pretty much ended. In this phone conversation, a lot was revealed to me saying the words out loud.

Even in my own personal truth, as the words left my lips, my tears streamed down my face, because this really wasn’t about this guy, it is about something in the past, yet to be closed and the actions I am taking, in my own personal journey to resolve it.

You will all get a chance to share in that, I promise you.

In the meantime, my tears lie on the disappointment more than the person himself. It sucks when a person doesn’t tell you the truth, it sucks even more when they feel they can get over on you and not care about the feelings you’re investing through their web of lies.

(Addition) I wanted to say this, there’s always a reason why everyone goes through certain paths in their lives. I believe there’s a reason why I am having these experiences. While these experiences may not be so pleasant I know at the end of this tunnel will flourish something beautiful.

The journey continues….because whoever my “one” is, will completely and totally love me for who I am and not what they think I’m supposed to be.

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

When Did Everyone Become So Seriously Morbid?

MarabelleBlue Middle FingerI’m so confused.

Early this morning, someone on Facebook (no less and we should all know where this is going) about doing a magic trick with their mother’s ashes. Thinking that this is a joke because I know he would never do something like, following another jokester, I chimed in that he should use my sister’s husband because he is really of no use #runawayhusband #runawayfather

The response “MarabelleBlue not cool. That was not what the post intended”

WTF?

Then why post something so god damn stupid!?!

I noticed within, I would say, maybe a five year proximity, people have gotten really stupid online. From the incorrect political posts, the fake websites with fake news that everyone seems to believe, from the jokes in poor tastes that everyone finds so damn funny BUT let you be the one to make that joke and YOU’RE WRONG!

Where are the priorities? So if you pass the joke from said nameless person it’s okay but if you’re the one making the joke you’re just a fucked up person.

Same person who doesn’t believe in God gets mad when sharing personal health issues and everyone says, “praying for you”, and the response is “Oh I don’t believe in God so I don’t need prayers…” (not verbatim)

But you get the gist of it.

If you don’t believe in God that’s one thing. Respect to you. I never judge anyone who’s an atheist.That is their prerogative, as anyone who believes in something else.  However, don’t get mad at people when they are sending good vibes via in prayer for your fucking well being. WTF?

People like this (not atheists), but the mindset are just outright asses. Trolls who want to ask for things or make statements and get mad at you when you chime in on their joke.

If the internet had a separation, it should be set up where people that are productive who are using the Internet for the right reasons has a server here and all other stupid assholes log in here and stay here.

In the bigger picture, while everyone else is chiming in on how Facebook is so applicable to your business. I find this to be utter bullshit. Really? Where? People will hit like and unlike for whatever reason, i.e., “posting too much, posting too little, this shit doesn’t apply to me, etc.”

Facebook has become the place of where hate lives. Where people go on and express their distaste for human life, to complain and share the most distasteful torture of animals as if posting this shit will help us acknowledge the crazy ass, stupid shit that goes on in this world we have no control over.

Not only does society need to get a life, they need to get a grip on prioritizing on what’s important.

If it’s important for you to troll the internet and post mindless, fake ass shit, I don’t need to have you on my Facebook page. If you can’t find any fucking humor in funny shit, then get the fuck out of my page. What the fuck are you doing there in the first place?

Do you support my business? Do you read the articles in my magazine that my writers take the time out to write? Do you listen to my radio show where I spend two hours interviewing people in the entertainment business using outlets to promote their projects?

If you can’t do that shit then get the fuck off my page.

Serious people have no place in my life. Miserable people definitely have no fucking place in my life!!

Life is about having fun and succeeding at your goals, paying it forward it you can, feeling good about your personal achievements and not having to say out loud, “look at me, I have one million views on Vine”, or some celeb is following you on Twitter like that make you relevant

Really? What makes YOU relevant is YOU!

People are truly lost in the shuffle of the internet. Shame.

BTW I will no longer make business post on my personal FB page. That’s what the like pages are for. My personal page will be a dead page like some of the people on there.

Liven up….damn!

MB~