#TheBachelor @benhiggi – #BenBeccable @chrisbharrision

 

I was all convinced at some point Olivia would be one of the top two but I think between episodes 1 and 2, I changed my mind. Now watching episode three, I’m would be surprised if Olivia receives a rose at the end of this.

Four weeks in and she’s calling Ben her husband and how she’s in love with him that’s “her man”, “Ben and Zen” I’m not sure how many more shit she can come up with, that is after Chris Harrison announces Ben is no long in Los Angels but rather in Las Vegas (my future home).

As soon as they realize they are going, she’s instigating she’s going to whisper to him, she wants to see Celine. She’s funny.

Needless to say, once the ladies arrive in Vegas, the first date card also arrives in their hotel room at the beautiful Aria Hotel (was there in 2014 truly beautiful hotel), and JoJo is on this particular one and one.

When Ben picked her up as they waited for the helicopter and the girls became jealous but then laughed when the helicopter landed and the force of the propellers knocked the table and champagne down from the table BUT walked away when Ben took advantage of the moment and kissed JoJo. Now that was pretty cool.

 

During the one on one, it seemed the conversation between Ben and JoJo was truncated. What exactly the story with JoJo and her last relationship. Why did it sound like she was having an affair? I mean no offense, we’re all grown here, aren’t we and shit happens, however, it would make sense she would discuss a relationship to make a conversation flow for the cameras and before you know it, Ben is offering a rose. Okay. Great.

The night ended with one more surprise after he gave the rose to JoJo, the fireworks above the Aria hotel began to spark when the girls inside their room heard the fireworks but could not see them (Ben and JoJo’s date were at the MGM Grand – great hotel too) of course had a clearest view of the fireworks.

JoJo one point, Olivia zero.

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What’s Real and What’s Not…

The week of November 16, minding my business, getting off the train to head home, I noticed someone from the corner of my eye as I walked down the stairs and they walking beside me. Now the first thought is, “who the fuck is this person”, then he speaks…

“boy does that chicken smell good.”

There’s a restaurant up the street from the train station and I will say this, if the chicken is more than a day old, and they’re cooking it, it smells pretty bad.

The conversation leads to me saying the food didn’t smell good and I can make better chicken than they can. I thought that was the end, until he walked with me to my destination.

Okay, aggressive maybe?

Approaching the ninety nine cents store, I tell him, “well I have to go in here” and he asked me for my number.

I asked him to give me his and I promised I would call him back.

“What’s your name?”, he asked.

“My name is Marabelle.”

Well I wasn’t going to tell him my birth name. LOL.

Needless to say, I did give him my number. My business number. And then the calls started maybe a two days later. I didn’t feel we had much in common. But after a few text exchanges and a few calls in between, he surprised me last Saturday meeting me at the very same area we first started talking and took to the diner where we spent about four more maybe a bit more hours talking about everything.

Then my view changed.

Wow, this guy is smart and we do have a lot in common.

But…(you know there’s always that damn ‘but’), due to privacy issues, I changed my phone number on my ‘whatsapp’ to my business number, not realizing anyone who had the app and my business number will pop up a notification like, “hey your friend just joined whatsapp” – the same number I gave to this guy, who looks at my profile pic, watermarked, “Property of Kink~E Magazine”.

I have struggled for many years with men who thought that me owning a sex magazine made me available for sex, or that I was some kind of freak fucking different guys every night. Or how can I be such a prude and own a sex magazine.

Umm well, people are dirty and disgusting and I don’t open my legs to anyone unless they are fucking worth it. And oh, my fetish life isn’t practiced with some fly by night asshole that doesn’t know what he’s doing.

The men I meet get it very twisted and very confused as to who I am, what I do, what is the purpose of the magazine and why I do it.

The mission statement on www.kinkemagazine.com is very clear and anyone who reads it knows exactly what my magazine is about, what my writers do and what we talk about. Most importantly, why it’s so important to educated people living or exploring alternative lifestyles.

Well now upon knowing this info he had on hand, I told him what I do, I’m a writer, I own a magazine and I have different writer who discuss different aspects of adult entertainment and alternative lifestyle and he seemed cool with it.

After our endless hours of talking, it was time for me to go home and get rest and figuring I would hear from him the next day, I did not.

Okay what the fuck is going on here. You like someone (remember we are not 25, I don’t have time for stupid mind games), you’re not going to waste time or say, “well, duh, gee, I’ll contact her three days from now. By then I would have lost interest.

Bothered by the fact he didn’t make much of an effort, but texting here and there, I said something and it seemed to wake up the senses and led to another all night conversation.

Now my head space is, “yeah I’m feeling this guy, we can hang out get to know each other.”

Today, not so much. Inconsistent. Not making much of an effort BUT definitely made an effort in exposing exactly what he wanted to do me, desires of feasting on certain parts of my body…(use your imagination, ya’ll know what I’m talking about).

Yeah…no, I wasn’t feeling it.

I go out with you ONE time and one week later you’re talking about eating me out. It’s one thing to flirt, yet another when you’re just horn dog asking for sex when I barely even know the guy.

No thank you.

Does he not think I’m already getting emails like that from someone who’s been chasing me since 2000. And OH what about the guy I connect with periodically. While he’s busy playing mind games, someone else (someone I know) texting me at the same time, asking when I’m coming over.

A friend with benefit understanding only works with me for ONE person. I don’t need an extra person for that especially if they are telling me how REAL they are, when in essence are just full of shit.

I have been “around the block” enough to know all the stories guys play just to get a girl into bed, instead of just being forthright in saying, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now, however, I would like a partner I can be intimate with and have fun.”

Last time I checked, there’s nothing wrong with that level of honesty, but that’s just me. Some women may find the whole statement repulsive and that’s okay too.

Look I’m not here to judge, far from it. But when you come in with lies about me being in your heart and saying all of these romantic things just to get me in bed, is where I lose all respect for a person who’s flat out lying.

After addressing said issue, not only does he block me on twitter (why I don’t know he’s not worth reading any tweets he puts out), he blocks my number on his phone (after last Saturday when he tells me I gave him my “heartline” after I gave him my personal cell number).

If these are the actions of a person who claims they are telling the truth, guess what…you’re not.

Liars will not defend their actions once they’ve been found out. If anything they run the other way to ensure their integrity is not found out by others so they can pull the same game on someone else who will buy the lie.

While no one knows who I’m talking about, the last thing I would do it tag him on tweets like an immature child and accuse him of being a liar. Sure I will say certain things, but I won’t tag a name on to it.

He could have taken a different approach had he been telling the TRUTH, maybe by picking up the phone and calling and defending himself.

Being truthful is painful, whether you’re on the receiving end of it or not, hearing it for yourself when the words are departing from your lips can be painful.

After tonight, I was hurt and disappointed because I really wanted him to be for real in everything he was saying, but in the back of my mind, something said, there’s something not right.

I have learned to follow my intuition instead of following my heart.

Sad when you can’t follow your heart.

I text a friend of mine and told her what barely began has pretty much ended. In this phone conversation, a lot was revealed to me saying the words out loud.

Even in my own personal truth, as the words left my lips, my tears streamed down my face, because this really wasn’t about this guy, it is about something in the past, yet to be closed and the actions I am taking, in my own personal journey to resolve it.

You will all get a chance to share in that, I promise you.

In the meantime, my tears lie on the disappointment more than the person himself. It sucks when a person doesn’t tell you the truth, it sucks even more when they feel they can get over on you and not care about the feelings you’re investing through their web of lies.

(Addition) I wanted to say this, there’s always a reason why everyone goes through certain paths in their lives. I believe there’s a reason why I am having these experiences. While these experiences may not be so pleasant I know at the end of this tunnel will flourish something beautiful.

The journey continues….because whoever my “one” is, will completely and totally love me for who I am and not what they think I’m supposed to be.

Until then.

Loves and Hugs,

MB~

#TheBachelorette – Two Men Plus Ben @kaitlynbristowe @viallnicholas28 @chrisbharrison

Kaitlyn+Bachelorette cryingWatching The Bachelorette you almost forget one more guy is in this episode….

Since it’s down to the wire with three men left, instead of meeting the families first, the fantasy dates came first. Why they did that, I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s easier for Kaitlyn to have sex with the rest of the guys before she brings them home to families?

Last episode we left off with Shawn parading into Nick’s room accusing him of being a liar and full of shit about his feelings towards Kaitlyn. Furthermore, bringing up things that were said during Andi’s season which I think is a bit out of turn.

Shawn wasn’t there, so he will believe anything bad about Nick to justify his jealousy.

Nick in turn accused Shawn of meeting some girl and having sex with her the same night. That wouldn’t be any new news now….how many guys in the world have done the same thing.

While the boys are bickering, Kaitlyn has her overnight with Ben.

Let’s analyze Ben for a little bit. Cool looking guy, sexy in his own “country club” kind of a way. Definitely can see stability in the relationship BUT is Kaitlyn the right girl for him….nah.

Kaitlyn is a girl all over the place, this was the reason why I didn’t see her with Chris Soules at all and every time he gave her a rose, it was just a deeper of heart break. It’s almost as if he’s a “Chris” reincarnated and definitely not a match here.

Their date was beautiful though. Seeing the sights of Ireland, who wouldn’t fall in love?

During their conversation, you can tell Ben is fully invested in this relationship; unknowingly she had sex with Nick and she told Shawn he, “was it”, too soon the in the game to tell someone that, especially someone like Shawn who’s possessive and jealous all at the same time.

Kaitlyn says in her interview she can picture a life with Ben, but I think right now being with him it’s just the calming part of the insanity that’s brewing between Shawn and Nick, and mentioning being with Ben feels good, and she “feels” like she’s falling in love with Ben.

That’s code for those feelings are going to change once she’s in between Shawn and Nick.

It’s too bad because Ben is a great guy, or so it seems…..maybe he can be the next Bachelor, or maybe Nick? That would make an interesting season.

Ben and Kaitlyn have their intimate moment (I’m sure they had sex too since she mentions they only got a half hour of sleep).

the-bachelorette-shawn-strips-naked-on-golf-courseShe meets up with Shawn for their one on one for a golf date. Gifting him a bright pink shirt and blue pants, I have to say, Shawn can wear just about anything.

Their date was good in the beginning; they were golfing and having fun that is until Kaitlyn brings up an idea of a game of, “truth or dare”. Sometimes a game like Truth or Dare can go wrong.

The dare was to unclothe Shawn and have him golf naked. I think Kaitlyn will do anything to see a naked man!

During their date, later that evening, Kaitlyn brings up the topic of Shawn having this one night stand, and why he hates Nick, etc. etc.

Shawn admits he did have a conversation with Nick and believes Nick’s has ulterior motives which are not good for Kaitlyn. The Eskimo brother’s topic came up….and Kaitlyn mentions in her interview she needs security and assurance he’s going to be a loyal husband because of statement.

Ummm Kaitlyn, here’s a memo for you, you had sex with Nick. Can he question if you’re going to be a loyal wife or is this part of the exploration?

They decide to go to the fantasy suite which shows nothing, no kissing, nothing, just Kaitlyn putting the DND tag and closing the door.

The next day as Shawn leaves Kaitlyn’s room and Nick is waiting around and asks Shawn does he have a few minutes. Umm, WTF?

Nick felt as though he was blasted when Shawn decided to run into his room and he felt he needed to respond to Shawn.

Shawn believes the conversation they had proved Nick was a smooth talker. I missed that part, because I didn’t see proof other than two men who are fighting over a woman who’s not all that.

Nick questioned Kaitlyn’s motives after Shawn mentioned he and Kaitlyn spent the night together.

Now having a conversation with Chris Harrison who acts as the “advisor”, she admits Ben is a great guy next to  Shawn who exudes both of the “drama intensity” and humor where she doesn’t get the same with Ben. She believes though Ben will make a great husband…..she doesn’t say this but clearly it’s what’s on her mind, not just for her.

Nick, however, having feelings for him, she questions his loyalty towards being in a committed relationships whereas she doesn’t question that with Shawn because he’s a jealous freak. So she knows he wants to be with her but the jealousy can put a hurting on their relationships. (Any relationship for that matter)

I’m still stuck on why they didn’t do the hometown dates. Are they doing budget cuts?

When Kaitlyn stands before all three guys, she tells them she’s falling in love and how incredible how all the overnight dates have been. how much they have shared with her and she thanked them. Caught up in the moment of emotion, she walked away to gather herself, knowing who she was letting go. She comes back to them and reaffirms all she can do is follow her heart.

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She gives the first rose to Nick and then to Shawn which leaves Ben standing there with nothing.  After Ben says goodbye to Shawn and Nick, Kaitlyn asked if she can walk Ben out. She tells Ben how frustrating it is , he’s such a great guy but she doesn’t feel the same connection with him.

IMG_9620Before they say goodbye he tells her she looks great and he will miss her. In the car heading back to a hotel I guess, he said he wasn’t expecting to go home, but he’s a different person and was able to open up and have feelings again.

So perhaps this is a good thing. He learned how to open up I think it’s what you do afterwards when you fall in love and it doesn’t work out. Do you close yourself up? Is it harder to open up to someone new or do you hurry up and find a rebound who can give you that good feeling?

After the rose ceremony, Kaitlyn comes back to do a final salute to both of the men she chose. A very quiet drink, Nick hugs Kaitlyn in the anticipation she will see him at hometown dates and then hugs Shawn. She walks out, leaving them alone. Shawn finishes his drink and slams the glass on the table saying nothing to Nick. Nick then quietly puts his glass on the table saying nothing as the camera just pans on both of them like, what are we waiting for?

Kaitlyn heads to Utah and meets up with Nick. Nick admits he has no question he is in love with Kaitlyn and has no reservations whatsoever.  While all this exchange of love is being shared between Nick and Kaitlyn, back at the hotel, in a room, sits a group of people with uncomfortable anticipation…Nick’s family. Not happy at the fact he is going through this again, his tearful mom, makes his youngest sister cry, while one of his sister’s looks on not very happy.

After meeting Kaitlyn, they all sit and goof around until Maria pulls Kaitlyn aside to have a talk with her. She bought up the Andi season and her concerns with her feelings for Nick. After Maria, followed his brother and Bella, the youngest sibling who asked about Canada and does she really love Nick. Yeah, I would asking the same thing too, but she didn’t admit she loved him but told her she cares about Nick, “a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot”.

IMG_9631Having conversations with his Mom and Nick’s mom having a conversation with him, you can see there’s a big reluctance. While she can distinguish the difference between Kaitlyn and Andi, she’s hopeful, but still afraid for her son.

Nick assures his mother the difference between Kaitlyn and Andi, is during the Andi season he was over confident, not realizing where he and Andi where going in their relationship.

I can understand why his mother’s upsets; it’s not the ideal or conventional way to meet someone.

Kaitlyn couldn’t wait to get Nick back into her room after a successful meeting with his reluctant family.

The next day, Kaitlyn meets Shawn’s family and Shawn says in his interview , he’s excited to tell his , “wife” , he’s in love with her.

Pretty presumptuous if you ask me, I mean what if she didn’t pick him?

Shawn’s father mentioned something legible. Is this something where they are caught up in the moment or is it true love.

Just ask everyone who didn’t last in their relationships.

Like Nick’s family, they are a little bit more realistic in their goals of what they are looking for Shawn. And while Shawn is so love with Kaitlyn, he mentions if any of his family members have one doubt, it will not work out.

Look, while they are all in this position where Kaitlyn is talking about her googingly eyes and first impression rose, the fact is the reality will still happen when the cameras are off and they begin to live real life.

When Shawn gets the opinion of his sister’s apparently they gave rave reviews. I’m not sure how much you can review a person in just a few hours. Well maybe you can. I mean when I met my sister’s husband, I knew he was a piece of shit from the get go. So perhaps it is possible.

IMG_9634When Shawn’s father approaches him, he didn’t see to waste any time. The first thing out of his mouth was, “what the hell is going on”.

Hmm not a good question to start off with but I get it.

Shawn, still stuck on the, “you’re it” comment, he shares with his dad what Kaitlyn said when there was ten guys left. I guess this was his way of reassuring his father Kaitlyn is the girl for him.

Now that Kaitlyn has met the family and back in the room with Shawn, he tell her, there’s one more thing he needs to tell her,  he’s not falling for her but he IS in love with her.

Disappointed she didn’t tell him she loved him back (I think that’s supposed to happen at the end Shawn), Kaitlyn goes back to her room bawling her eyes out, now more confused than ever on who she plans on choosing.

Poor Nick.

OH well. Until the Final Rose.

I will be blogging on The Men Tell All after the season is over!

#TheBachelorette E9 – @kaitlynbristowe @haibon_jared @realrealitymag- Down to the Final Four

the-bachelorette-week-5_105The rose ceremony isn’t for an hour into the episode.

Kaitlyn was talking about how more difficult the week will become as she will need to say goodbye to two guys because the next round of dates will be the fantasy over night dates before any families are met.

Usually it’s the other way around. She will be left with four guys and those four guys would be the home town dates where she would meet their families. Why didn’t they do that?

The first date she had was with Ben H., who out of nowhere she had some attraction to him. Was this more than Nick and Shawn?

On a boat sailing the beautiful waters towards Innisfallen Island in Ireland – they spent time together playing hide and seek while back and forth interviews with Ben admitting that he has strong feeling for her but is afraid to share that because he doesn’t want to get hurt.

Understandable. It’s funny though how he had no issue calling her his girlfriend in an earlier episode.

Most guys have said that in past bachelor seasons and I think everyone is confused. No one is boyfriend and girlfriend until it’s just the both of you. And even then while engaged, you’re still boyfriend and girlfriend. Think of how many couple did NOT make it to the altar after making fools of themselves on television.

1436812163_kaitlyn-ben-donkey-zoomDuring their date, while Ben is talking about his last relationships and the ideal relationship and how he feels, Kaitlyn started to wonder if Ben was a virgin and asked him straight forward, his response…..No.

Now that Ben seems to be in the clear (no roses yet), the group date has officially begun, Shawn, Nick and Joe all meeting up with Kaitlyn to talk to her one on one. Kaitlyn, off camera admits there are discussions that need to be had and Shawn is the first one to pull her way.

Notice, Shawn is super possessive. Still unaware that she had sexual relations with Nick earlier in the week or week before. He’s still insecure due to the fact she told him he was it and he got stuck on that one.

Ladies, if you and guy are dating and it’s not serious for you, yet…and you tell him he’s it, he will HARP on that shit forever.

Notice how different she is with Nick than she is with Shawn. She is giddy, she’s vulnerable, and she talks to him like she’s known him her whole life, or is it just the Nick effect? Who knows.

What I think is so stupid, it seems she’s a wasted Bachelorette. If she had such a connection with Nick before this show, why even bother going through all this nonsense. We could have had someone much more fun and entertaining with Kelsey from Farmer Chris season.

UGH watching her and Joe was extremely difficult. He was talking about how he was falling in love with Kaitlyn, he’s kissing her and oh so passionate. Although Kaitlyn is kissing him back, it’s clear these are not kisses she wants to be returning, let alone be in locked in some intimate embrace. Maybe Nick should have interrupted and should have waited till after Joe so he can comfort her.

joe-kaitlyn-kiss-bachelorette-w352It was painfully clear we were reaching an end with her and Joe and after the kissing, Kaitlyn discusses honesty and where he was coming from and where she’s coming from and feeling as they are not on the same page.

While I remain, sometimes being honest means saying, I know you said you fell in love with me, but I’m not feeling the same way. Her round about behavior only seemed to infuriate Joe who copped an attitude really quick. He said things like, “it’s cool, It’s been fun”, very cold and unfeeling.

Kaitlyn asked for a hug goodbye and while he did comply, you can tell her was reeling in anger. He turned and looked at her and asked her, “what do I do now” and Kaitlyn responds, “I just wanted to give you a hug goodbye”, for which Joe replies, “I don’t want to say shit to you right now.”

Had to be the word shit.

Wow where the fuck did that come from?

Talk about pissed. The cameras didn’t even follow him to get feedback. LMAO If I was a camera person, I wouldn’t follow him either.

When Kaitlyn comes back she decides not to give the rose out, telling Nick that she will see him at the rose ceremony and told Shawn they need more time to talk. Shawn thinking this is a special one on one time, little does he know the only reason why she wants to talk to him to tell him that she and Nick had sex. LOL What a dummy.

After some small talk and flirting, she admits she and Nick had sex on their date. Of course now the mood changes and Shawn knows exactly why she called him out for more time. This wasn’t just a regular date. He asked her if she regrets, and she said she felt guilt. Not the answer he wanted to hear I’m sure.
the bachelorette - kaitlyn tells shawn b about nick sex

Why should she regret anything she’s done? If she really didn’t want to have sex with Nick, she wouldn’t have asked him back to her room. But she knew what she wanted. Period. The End!

Shawn, had to take a moment and go to the men’s room probably to punch the sink LOL. (I had to post this pic I found online just too damn funny)

Nick, who’s back in the hotel room, is completely perplexed as to why she didn’t give out a rose. And while he’s complaining about what the fuck is going on, Jared looks like he’s ready to fall asleep, while Ben is assured he will be flying high in the next rose ceremony.

I guess the question would be, was it wise to tell Shawn about her escapade with she and Nick or picking Shawn at the end, and then telling him in private before the show aired.

When Shawn, finally comes out of the bathroom, he admits that he’s upset but he cannot be mad at her, and that it happened, but he loves her and he wants to be with her.

His “not being angry” becomes short lived.

Shawn enters the room and puts his mask on not letting anyone know what transpired on the date and Nick sitting there clueless of the conversation that took place.

The next day is the rose ceremony, Kaitlyn choose not to have any cocktail hour. Her mind has been made up, according to Chris Harrison, who informs them it’s time for the rose ceremony.

Now down to the wire, Shawn still has questions as to what he wants to do. He’s still upset over the fact that she and Nick were intimate together. After her endearing speech on how important these three roses are, she picks up the first rose and calls Shawn and asked him will he accept this rose, his response,

the-bachelorette-shawn-rose-ceremony“I need to talk to you”

The look on her face was absolutely priceless. There was fear and anger all at the same time.

Shawn is upset that it’s Nick she had sex with. If it were anyone else, I don’t think he would be as upset. Why him? He asked and why she would do that to jeopardize them. Really Shawn? Ya got a big head there my friend.

Kaitlyn tells Shawn she’s here to explore other relationships, because after she chooses one, she will never have that opportunity again. And what she said to him a few weeks ago, that he was it, she had no business saying that. I think she realizes when you put your foot in your mouth; you give someone that unrealistic expectation “things will proceed according to plan.”

Kaitlyn left off asking Shawn if he questions her trust, and we never see the answer. They come out of the room and back to the rose ceremony, once again asking Shawn if he will accept her rose.

“Absolutely”

The last two roses she hands out to Ben H. and then Nick, leaving Jared hurt.

Screen-shot-2015-07-07-at-8.37.32-PMJared the next bachelor? Wouldn’t be surprised. He’s a cutie, in a fishy sort of way.

If anyone who cried more saying goodbye was Kaitlyn while Jared was comforting her telling her it was okay.

Gosh that was so hard to watch. Admittedly I had my own waterworks going on watching him in the limo.

Hard….just touch. Broken hearts suck. He left with his head up high. I think the only one who didn’t leave with a grandiose attitude. Despite of me calling him a fish kisser, Jared is a person who deserves a great woman, clearly Kaitlyn is not that woman, for him.

Now that Jared is gone, Kaitlyn proceeds with her overnight dates, first with Nick.

It is very apparent that Nick and Kaitlyn have a very strong connection together. They traveled throughout and exploring Ireland. They stopped at a Cathedral Church, a bar and some kind of castle jail. It comes up during their date, Nick begins discussing someone who he doesn’t respect, and has insecurities and admits he’s talking about Shawn and his concerns over him.

The minute they get into this deep conversation, a storm begins to brew.

Coincidence?

Was Nick right in saying anything about Shawn? Or is it about jealous emotions like Kaitlyn stated.

After taking Nick to a prank fantasy suite, they head over to the real suite, where Nick expresses more of his love to her.

I know people are not Nick fans because he disclosed his intimacy with Andi and quite honestly I’m not sure what is the big deal. I said this before and I’ll say it again. The fantasy suite, they are fucking, if anyone thinks any different, you’re stupid.

The next day, Kaitlyn and Nick are eating breakfast looking like a natural couple. I can only imagine Shawn watching this. He looks like he has anger issues.

And not wanting to let go what Kaitlyn shared with him, he calls the hotel concierge to find out where Nick’s room to confront him as to why he’s there. All throughout the interviews, he would refer to him as, “the other guy”.

I don’t’ know if I saw this for myself, I wouldn’t go with Shawn. There are a lot of control issues there.

Their confrontation turns into an argument.

To be continued….

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