Keeping My Options Open…

henotintoEver meet someone and think, wow this may be a person I can hang out with and see where it goes. Then you start talking and that statement comes out, “I’m not looking to be in a relationship”.

I’ve heard this before. I once dated a very sexy attorney who said the same thing and for eight months we spent a lot of time together. We went out to dinners, lunch, to his place of course.

I’ve spent weekends with him, but after eight months, the statement still stood, “I’m not looking to be in a relationship”.

And with that, after an argument we had, an emailed titled “Us”, before I opened it, I knew it was over. I didn’t cry. I expected it. He was a great man. I don’t have a bad thing to say about him. I really don’t. But he wanted to play the field and I wasn’t there in my life to be with someone I had to share, that is till a few months I met someone else, but that’s another story for another time.

Anyway, so back to the “new” guy. We met towards the end of summer, he was a “newbie” to our dog run and my neighbor noticed he was checking me out. To be quite honest, I wasn’t sure if he was, I wasn’t sure if he was straight but he is LOL.

After running into each other several times and talking, we both learned, we are single (good start), we have similar values and belief systems, we both like to laugh and joke a lot, however there a holes in this “developing relationship”.

For someone who says they are interested, the behavior doesn’t match up. Sure he knows about me and my magazine, interviews, etc but how does that affect how we interact with each other, it doesn’t seem to get in the way of who we are as individuals. And for someone who says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, doesn’t act like he’s attracted to me either, words, like “my hang out buddy”, isn’t something that leads to anything romantic, at least not in my book.

The awkward hugs, the let’s get together and meet up at the dog run and hang out isn’t my idea of getting to know one other while my dogs are freezing out in the cold (and me too), what about diner time, talking in a place where we won’t get thrown out right away. Nope, that’s not happening. Any phone calls during the day, no, but I get texts periodically. Some days are more than others when he’s talking about projects and skit writing he suddenly wants to do.

Anyone seeing a pattern here?

Other than someone I can relate to in writing scripts or books, there isn’t really anything else there other than wishful thinking.

Last night I asked him if he was attracted to me. His response was yes, but he’s reserved because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. And he also said, “if I wasn’t attracted to you, I wouldn’t be here with you right now”.

Well I feel better already [sarcasm].

That feeling creeps over, “what is wrong with me”.

Disappointed? Yes.

However, I know what I’m looking for. It’s not to spend another eight months with someone and get hurt in the end.

When a man says he’s not looking to be in a relationship, believe him. The worst thing in the world is to know a man doesn’t feel you are deserving enough to spend time with.

Keep your self esteem because there’s someone out there who will appreciate you for it.

Moving on…

Until then.

Love and Hugs,
Marabelle Blue


  1. January 20, 2016 at 5:05 am

    Hmmm…I have a lot of questions about where you live, the guys you date and what impact those two factors have on dating life. But instead of asking them, I just want to read more and find out what happens.

    • January 20, 2016 at 1:12 pm

      I live in the Bronx. Not many white guys to choose from lol which has been my preference for many years. The last two guys I met were Latinos. Not to pose a bad reflection but for me there’s some sort of control and/or belittling attitude they seem to possess I don’t appreciate. This is just based on my own personal experience. Some can say they have the same experience with other nationalities and that’s understandable. I think my magazine plays a big part. Perhaps they have expectations as who they believe I’m supposed to be based on my magazine and then, surprise…I’m funny, dorky, literal at times, idealistic, passionate. Perhaps they think I’m having sex all day. Lol. Wouldn’t we all but I’m sure at that point that would be tiring too.

      • January 20, 2016 at 2:19 pm

        After a little research and what you just posted I think I understand. You my dear, are intimidating. That’s a good thing.

      • January 20, 2016 at 2:22 pm

        I really am a good girl 😍 I can’t change who I am. I learned to love this me. Maybe someone one day will love me too.

      • January 20, 2016 at 2:47 pm

        Things I say to myself every night. Except replace girl, with boy.

      • January 20, 2016 at 2:48 pm

        We must always be true to ourselves before we can be true to someone else. 👍🏻

  2. Lily Plum said,

    March 29, 2016 at 7:14 am

    I feel you, and can relate!

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