The Bachelorette Andi – Episode 2


So this is where the show begins. The one on one dates and the group dates. As noted earlier through our wondrous world tabloids the first one on one date was with the late Eric Hill. 

Chris Harrison comes into the living room and gives everyone a short run of how this all works, the “one on ones”, groups, etc. Everyone notes that one on ones, while exciting they may be, if they don’t get a rose, they are going home. 

I have to say this, when the men see Andi walk in they act like she is the only woman on earth (and rightly so), they act like she’s the only woman on earth that is beautiful and they’ve never seen anything like it. Harrison also seems smitten with her, look at the way he said, “she’s an impressive woman”.

Carl reads the date card to announce that he has the first date, “Love is everywhere”.

Side note: I’m taken by Dylan, I’m almost sure that he will not be one of the final four. He’s too hot (at least to me he is)

So Andi and Eric go on this date where they go “everywhere”. They start off by driving to the beach, play with sand, build a sandcastle, or at least it looked like they did, fly a kite and then a helicopter flies in and takes them off to Bear Mountain in the snow.

Side note: They show a commercial with Deanna Papas for a Suave commercial. When she said she was looking for convenience I was so hoping that this guy would not chop off her beautiful mane. One bad habit women get into. They have kids and want to chop off their hair because they don’t have time to maintain it. Learn women. Even though you’re a mom, you’re still a wife, you still have a husband. Keep him by not turning into a man version of yourself. 

So after snowplay, they head off to a cottage style house where they have dinner and talk and get to know each other. Eric talks about his life as a traveler, his family, whose married and how many children they all have. And while Andi talked about him in a good light, she just didn’t really seem like she was into him. 

It’s sad to watch Eric talk about his date, the potential and his dream to find true love without ever anticipating death. Who thinks about that? 

Needless to say, Andi gave him a rose and the night ended with them by the fireplace eating marshmallows. No kiss. 

On the group date, we all know to expect something crazy is going to happen. The date card reading “let’s bare our souls”, leads them to an audition to be a male exotic dancer.

 So of course Cody is the first one to look like an arrogant asshole (still can’t figure out why he’s there). She chooses two solo acts, Nick S and Marcus. Have you noticed that she likes the geeky looking guys. I mean they are not totally eye candy but they are kind of cute. Yeah I’ll give it to her with Marcus. But I also think the firefighter Carl is cute too. 

Throughout the side interviews, Craig seems to be commenting the most, he also looks like he started his day early. His face was already red from the alcohol he’s been consuming all day so it was no surprise that he acted like the dumbass he did later that night on the group date. 

Lest not forgot how he stuffed his pants, he must be Irish….(yeah that was a dig LOL)

Kelly and Sharleen from the JP season showed up to the show (because you know Andi doesn’t have any friends other than what she made on the Bachelor sMH).

There were several group performances, I caught Dylan didn’t move very well, however he did look good in that firefighter suit. Nick S. was a total fail in the robot suit. Marcus did fairly well in his officer and a gentleman dance, but really, all unforgettable.

Drinks and cocktail hour, Brian the teacher pulls her out for a one on one chat. He’s a teacher, she’s an attorney, she’s the breadwinner, it may not work.

Josh then takes her aside to talk to her about his fear of stereotyping him. I think he’s full of shit. He hasn’t been out with a girl for five years but I’m sure he’s been fucking everything that moves for the last five years.

He reminds me of someone I met recently that told me more or less the same thing. “I’ve been single for a long time”, yeah but you’re good looking and probably talking to everything that moves. 

I gave him my number. We’ll see where it goes (this just happened on Friday)

Enough about me…

Craig was a hot mess throughout the one on one chats, leading himself to the pool.

While he’s busy drinking the date card arrives for the Farmer Chris, who gets the one on one date.

Then we get back to Bradley who has become extremely annoying with his opera singing.

Hey I have an idea, why doesn’t he hook up with Sharleen and they can opera their way off to the California sunset?

When Craig had his one on one conversation (funny the guy I was just talking about just text me LOL he can wait), Andi tells him that she’s an open book and he can ask her anything. So he asked her, what’s the worst thing about her parents. At some point the producers had to wisk him away so he can sleep it off.

This is where Andi should have said to him it’s time for you to go home, but I guess he needed to sleep it off so she can tell him in a sober mind that he sucks. But why when there’s so much drama to ensue with this show.

We need Andi to be dramatic and cry and talk about how she wants everyone to be serious and if no one likes it they can leave.

And what’s with the ya’ll???? I don’t recall her saying “ya’ll” in the JP season…is that a branding plan or part of a drinking game?

Okay so enough of who talked about what, it’s not that important. At the end of the night Marcus got the rose. No surprise there. Clearly she likes him. 

Farmer Chris and Andi’s date was the races where they dressed up 20’s style. I had to fast forward some parts because this was brutally boring. For me I feel as though when you have a date with someone that you may not have in common, district attorney and a farmer???? You go on those busy dates where you can talk about nothing and feel like you’re having fun at the same time.

The part with the 55 years married couple was totally written in. Come on??!! What are the chances you’re on a date and run into a couple that’s been married for that long. Yeah….

While they really talked about nothing, after she gave him the rose they have a private concert with This Wild Life, and dance the date away….now mind you, I’m sure ABC  paid the band a nice sum, whether the date worked out or not the band was going to play for someone LOL.

Yes. They kissed. But when you’re dancing and close to each other, anything is bound to happen. 

At the final rose ceremony, (hopefully you started the “ya’ll” drinking game), everyone who didn’t have time was fighting for time on their one on one final conversations.

From what I’ve seen early one when someone doesn’t get to go out on a date initially, they still get a rose because that’s just the game. 

Nick who got the first impression rose hasn’t gotten a date with Andi and he asked her what kind of man she likes. She says she didn’t know but if you look at the two guys she really likes right now, it is Nick and Marcus.

Josh with his arrogant ego decided to make out with her. Cheap make out shot to get a rose. Totally not buying the act of shyness. Period.

Craig tried to justify his alcoholic self by playing the guitar and singing a horrible song

Okay enough of the crap, here are the roses handed out:

Dylan (too much of that hair gel crap sweetie)
Josh – I’m glad that she made him wait
Cody (still can’t understand that choice)
Nick V
Patrick (who looked like he’s was going to shit on himself)
….and opera singing Bradley.

Who went home:

Craig – of course he did, blubbering fool has been drinking since he got there

Carl the firefighter…who gets rid of a firefighter? Please give him to me!!!

Nick S. – that whole robot dance was a hot mess. Maybe if he kept the undies on as he should have he would still be there. Did he really think he had a chance???? 

What’s my prediction thus far of who’s staying in the next two episodes? 

Patrick, Eric, Nick V., Marcus, Tasos, and Dylan. Ron or Maquel for television appeasement. 

Well “ya’ll….tonight and tomorrow night (Monday night) it’s a double header of the Bachelorette. 

Until then.


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